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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

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Today's Party Column


Tenet is a 2020 sci-fi action wtf film written and directed by Christopher Nolan. The film, which is definitely not Inception , stars the dude from BlacKkKlansman, the heartthrob that all the girls love from Twilight , that Australian chick who played Princess Di on The Crown, Michael Caine (of course), and a few other good actors that you like and will recognize but can't name off the top of your head. The film follows a former CIA agent who, well, it's like really complicated, even by Christopher Nolan's standards. (Full article... )

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Today's hangul word is
tortilla
Use this word to awe your enemies.

Today in the DPRK


"...at least panda meat doesn't give you autism!" ‑RFK Jr.

Ongoing : The wait for GTA VIEurovision Song ContestRussian InvasionIsrael‑Hamas conflict • ICE rounding up illegal immigrantsTaylor Swift's very unlucky, no good yearDOGE firings and budget cuts • Release of all the JFK and Epstein Files, purportedly • March MadnessTornadoes shredding the American South • Post-apocalyptic streaming movies starring Stranger Things actors • Disney fans re-watching the original Snow White to forget the remake

Recent deaths : SkypeKingda Ka • David Johansen, The New York Dolls, and Buster Poindexter • UnSpoiler and BeGone extensionsSpace GhostTesla's stock • Bob RiversMeghan Markle's Netflix show • The Electric State • Kurt from Good Burger George Foreman23andMeSnow Broke and the 9-figure loss for DisneyBruce GloverRichard ChamberlainRoger Daltrey's eyesight and hearingVal Kilmer

Upcoming deaths : Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedomLuigi MangioneKate MiddletonLaura PalmerDEI, for better or for worsePope Francis • Meghan Markle's remaining likeability • Your March Madness bracket and bank accountTornado Alley • Somebody from The Rugrats Movie


Rodong Sinmun, page 2


It is an irreputable fact...

  • ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?

You cannot deny...[edit source ]

  • ... that Africa's space program, AIDS, has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet?


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Party members of the month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked , the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore .

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment , you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.



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