UnNews:February 2025 UnSports Update with Joe Buck

February 27, 2025

Hello everybody, Joe Buck here coming over from BSPN with a quick UnSports update for the month of February. Filling in as Stephen A. Smith is too busy yapping about politics, ignoring the old mantra to "stick to sports". UnSports was going to have multiple stories out to block out the Liberal Salt from.. I mean radical Right-wing racis- jeez I'm still getting political! We were gonna have more sports stories but then our sportswriter got lazy, so we will stick to one story for the entire month!

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One week.. jeez it's already been three weeks.. have passed since the Philadelphia Eagles somehow outsmarted math, the NFL scriptwriters, the refs, and Taylor Swift to win the Super Bowl and ruin Patrick Mahomes's bid for a "three-peat" and how are things looking?

Let's take a live look at Philadelphia. The city has burned down slightly, but not as much as anticipated. But here's the strangest thing that has happened, Cooper DeJean, a WHITE CORNERBACK who picked off Mahomes and returned it to the house for one of Philly's touchdowns, now has street cred in the alleyways of Philly and has gained his N-word pass. He now goes by his black name DeCooper Jean. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, baby! DEI is back for white boys for the first time since Eminem broke out in the rap game!

Oh right, I was supposed to stick to sports. Wow, I haven't been that excited in years, almost sounded like Gus Johnson.

Hey, am I the only white guy who actually liked Kendrick Lamar's halftime show performance? Get with the times, you old boomers!

Anyways, back in Kansas City, trouble is brewing between Swift and Travis Kelce, who she "always knew was trouble when he walked in". Now they may have some "bad blood" and Travis now has to prove to her his worth before they "are never ever, EVER getting back together." ' Either way, I've gotten an excerpt of her latest breakup song from a source. It goes something like "Dreamed of a three-peat, but you fumbled the play— Lost the Super Bowl and me the same day."

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In other news, Aaron Rodgers has officially been kicked off the New York Jets now that Woody Johnson's 17-year old kid Brick.. and that's the kid's actual name! Unbelievable.. is no longer the GM and making decisions off of Madden ratings. Next stop for Rodgers: Minnesota, just like his predecessor.

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The USA boasted that they'd beat up Canada in the NHL's "4 Nations Face-off". And then they lost. Donald Trump boasted that the US would win, and doubling down on his intentions to make Canada the "51st state", made a bet with Justin Trudeau that the loser would have to join the other country, be its bitch, and suck the other's dick. Well, about that.. America is now slated to join Canada as its "11th province" and Trump is trying to back out of his bet. He's now 0-2 in sports picks this month, as he picked the Kansas City Queefs to "Three-peat". Looks like he's now got the same luck as Drake.

God damn it, I just got political again.. Either way I'm just entertained to have seen 50 fights within the first second of their game break out between the Americans and Canadians. Good to see some old fashioned brawls.

Speaking of hockey, the Buffalo Sabres still suck. They somehow find a way to suck despite having one of the best offenses in hockey right now. Even their announcer agrees. At least the Jets will still have company holding the longest playoff drought in all of sports.

And in basketball, not much going on aside from star players like Jimmy Butler and Rudy Golbert being divas like always. Luka was such a diva that he forced a trade and is now playing with LeBron James, who's 45 and somehow still playing. Hell, I don't even watch basketball and neither is much of the country. Just get Stephen A. back here to yap about it.

And that will do it for our February UnSports update! Now where's my drink and botox..