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Falwellapedia has over 10,000 educational, clean, and concise entries, including exactly 66 canonical texts. There have been over 11,600,000 page views and over 172,000 page edits, including 171,699 reversions of heretical edits.
Jerry's Daily Sermon:
"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them."
Crossfire (17 May 1997)
Daily Historical Falwell Quote:
"Han, Han. If only you hadn't had to dump that shipment of spice. I just can't make exceptions. Where would I be if every pilot who smuggled for me dumped their shipment at the first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good business."
On Han Solo's loss of Jerry the Hutt's illegal cargo (Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Special Conservative Edition, 1997)
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Warner Bros. "Entertainment" Inc. (commonly known as Warner Bros. and abbreviated as WB) is a bunch of formerly rich, now broke douchey bureaucrats posing as an American diversified multinational mass media and entertainment conglomerate headquartered at the Warner Bros. Studios complex in Burbank, California, and a subsidiary of blah blah blah, who cares? They are the state mouthpiece of the Warner People's Democratic Republic and they put out whatever they want to put. You don't like it, they fight you.
The company is known for its film studio division the Warner Bros. Pictures Group and as of late, their cheap production values and for meddling with every director who comes their way. In fact, since 2014 the drama that occurs between studio heads and directors are even more entertaining than the movies that come out. So much that Discovery is thinking of buying them and making them a reality TV company only. The studio also owns CNN, Warner "Music" Group and HBO Max where you can stream all the content to your heart's desire. What, you don't like their content or plans? They fight you. (Full article... )
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"You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, resurrected hands." |
On this day...
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March 6: Roadkill Appreciation Day (North America & Australia)
- 3500 BC - In the first recorded instance of roadkill, Egyptian Pharaoh Ramses IV hits a small cat with his chariot. Shameful.
- 1869 - The first historical instance of so-called "cannibal roadkill" occurs when a horse-drawn buggy strikes a horse pulling a second buggy.
- 1934 - Hitler runs over a small ferret in his Volkswagen, precipitating his later invasion of Poland.
- 1962 - Julia Childs releases a groundbreaking roadkill culinary masterpiece titled Treadmarks and Tarragon.
- 1969 - President Nixon continues the Road Kill bombing over Vietnam.
- 1990 - Road Kill is officially the new Mystery Meat in school lunches.
- 1995 - Steve Ballmer runs over my dog after yelling at the top of his lungs "I'm going to fucking bury that dog. I've done it before and I will do it again. I'm going to Fucking Kill that dog."
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