Roadkill Appreciation Day

Held annually on March 7, Roadkill Appreciation Day is a holiday celebrated all around the earth by people from all walks of life and is held in conjunction with Animal Fucking Day, which is held the following day.

Originally held in New York as a day for the city slickers to reembrace the civility and gentleness of mankind's roots and to escape from the savagery of modern life, it quickly degenerated into an all out competiton between Steve Ballmer and Tom Cruise to see who could kill the most number of animals for the RoadKill Kookoff.

After the Roadkill Kompetition, the festivities are officially opened by George Bush, the patron of all things animal related. Activities exclusive to the annual one day festival include: Bobbing for Squirrel eyeballs, Pin the Tail on the Racoon, Snakes and Ladders, Bumper Cars (with real cars and the occasional human target), the world renowned RoadKill Kookoff and many more fascinating and enjoyable activies! Also equally famous are the foods served which range from Chipmunk on the Cob, Possum Pie, Deer Delight, Sheep Stew to Goat 'n' Grits and many other equally gastronomically pleasing dishes, all freshly prepared.

Roadkill Appreciation Day is also celebrated in Australia, where it is named "Roadkill Barbeque Day", a public holiday which is celebrated by the mass consumption of "...'roos, koalas, foxes, wallabies, snakes, cats, and all of nature's unconventional, yet strangely flavoursome bounty". An annual roadkill cook-off competition is traditionally held in many major towns.

In various regions of Poland it is celebrated by taking Polish sausages, painting George Bush's face on them and burning/ eating them.

• Automobiles
• Cars
• Things on wheels
• Days
• Holidays
• Crikey!