"Trong cái suy nghĩ của nó, nó đã chắc mẩm rằng ba đứa tôi sẽ mãi vai kề vai để đối mặt với tương lai, dẫu cho thời gian có mang đến những thử thách gì trong những cơn sóng trào của nó đi nữa."
Hmm, oh hi Kiên! Come sit! You want some tea?
Oh no no, nothing much. I'm just revisiting a few of my old photos. This one is when I first got to Site-29-VN. Looks miserable. Spot-on freshman looks, heh. For this one, I think this is when the new data centre was launched. I wondered why I was there. And this one…
Ah.
Yes. This one was taken when I first travelled for the Site's works. First time on a plane too.
…
Yeah, I'm good. It's just… I'm daydreaming a bit.
…
I could tell you, but there isn't much to tell. I am free anyway, yes.
The thing is, when I was young, my family ain't got much. I'm just barely able to live comfortably somewhere along that line. We lived in an old apartment building in the city centre; the building was so deteriorated that you could feel the vibration of the handle every time someone climbed. Criminals are on the upper floor, cops right below them. Handcups and raids are just everyday stuff. Sometimes, my grandma suddenly called me in, telling me not to wander around the yard in the back of the building. "So many addicts, don't you dare go near those needles, being dependent then your life is over," she told me just that.
apt.
…Oh yes, sorry. Sidetracking, silly me.
Anyway, I meant to say that residing in an environment like that can kill anybody's aspirations. My two friends and I are no exception. Tài loved those chicken wings at first sight. Now and then, I saw him in the yard, eyes glued to the magazine, fingers going through each page, trying his best to imagine how fast foods tasted. The moment he confidently told me: "Bằng! When I grow up, I will become a chef and have all the chicken wings for myself. You mark my words!" I may have thought Tài could fulfil his dream.
And Tũn, next door, is so mesmerised by the apartment adjacent to us. Every night those two went to my floor for sightseeing, Tũn will keep yapping about her future picture of an apartment with never-ending lights on, with the tap of endless water. She told us that she would let us live in hers, and we would then have a small restaurant. She's gonna be the boss, Tài the chef and myself the accountant.
…
Childish, right?
Me? My dream may not be clearly defined like those two. Just a basic one, to one day, be able to look up and see the plane flights above amidst the clouds; I crave to sit in one. That dream, maybe, is the basic thought for a child to nurture their hope of breaking free and exploring the world. Of course, how could they just blatantly tell anyone of their hope for freedom? Tũn would hate me for that. In her thoughts, she is so sure of us always being together forever after, through all the boundaries and challenges that the time came flushing with, like angered waves on the sea.
Yeah, that was us back then. We couldn't see anything through the scenery in front of us, but it had its charm. Then we kept being kids, telling each other about the picture we painted of our future and promising to leave no one. Days just went by lightly like that.
Til' the day that I left that apartment.
Everything just went by too fast; while I have never been good with talks, I don't even cry at all. My mom briefly mentioned moving only a month before; I had to figure out ways to tell the group while pretending nothing was significant. A five-year-old can't complete both. The day came, but I still couldn't knock on their doors for goodbyes. They kept rushing behind the truck, but I couldn't look back. My flesh now filled with me, frightened and embarrassed.
Years went by, and sometimes I still revisit the old building, but never once was I able to meet Tài or Tũn. Maybe those two are trying to hide from me. I don't even have the thing in me to ask their parents, in my heart, what I have done are so cruels, if I expressed them, I may not been able to see anyone faces again. Kid. Funny enough, the visits became hours-long talks with my friendly neighbours, whom I got acquainted with back then. These new surroundings gave me new friends, and I started to have many new goals for myself. These are goals that we are to commit our minds and bodies to. The rest, you know them. Specialised school, gifted class, esteemed college, a job in this place, nodding all the ways. It doesn't sound as free as back then, huh?
…
Anyway, last year I visited the place. To finish things. Still haven't seen them, but their parents also don't either. I started asking around; it's a pretty tough one; most residents are like mine, come and go. Someone rarely stays for a long; finding the one who knows even a bit of what I'm asking for is troublesome. Surprisingly, I still got the job done. They said the two took a loan for their business, but after interest, the thugs found their house, making a scene for a while. Making Tài find his escape, Tũn went missing for years. Their parents, too depressive, went back to their hometown. They navigate to the city for a better future for their offsprings, to finds missing them, why sticking to this place any longer?
Yes, that is the store—just that. I wish everything could have ended on a lighter note. I can reunite with those two idiots to meet and keep talking about our dreams like we did. Who knows, maybe I could help them or something. But that is life, I guess. Shits happened.
the past.
…
I cannot stop thinking that I am the lucky one, even how much I've tried to. I have a half-baked talent, life gave me a chance to chase for my dream, but what about those kids? Every time I saw a group of kids, it just gave me flashbacks to those two childhood friends. Those eyes, those never went away, those passed, passed from one generation to another, wrangled them since birth. The days after the move may have left me with wonderful memories, but those can't overwrite my sorrow every time I see those eyes. Or maybe my heart isn't wanting to forget. Maybe.
I knew the stuff we were doing here was equally important. It's just that sometimes I wonder to myself whether I have tried my best. We protect humanity from global threats but can't save them from themselves. I knew it was just a grain of salt, but I still donated my money to that education charity. Maybe that will help me sleep easier. Someday, my money can help a child reach their dream. The tragedy of Tài and Tũn won't happen again.
…
It's late now. Head to the canteen with me, will you? Gotta finish my tasks today. The computer? Nah, leave it there. No one will peak anyway…
upon the clouds.
Cite this page as:
"Upon the Clouds" by BeeTrio, from the SCP-VN Wiki. Source: https://scp-vn.wikidot.com/tren-nhung-tang-may. Licensed under CC-BY-SA.
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This article contains an excerpt from Quel che affidiamo al vento (2020) by Laura Imai Messina.
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