User talk:Necropaxx/archive 7

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This page is an archive . The contents have been moved from another page for reference purposes only, and should be preserved in their current form. Discussion or voting on this page is not current. Any additions you make will probably not be read. The current version of this page can be found at User talk:Necropaxx.

Here Thou Mayest Either Praise or Curse, Whichever Doth Suit Thee.

late pee review thanks

hey necro, just wanted to say thanks for you review of 1993. it was very helpful, and it will definitely help me continue my quest to clean up the timeline, should i ever get off my ass and return to writing things for this silly website. thanks again! Sir Gerrycheevers Gun Talk 00:17, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

Oh, thanks. It was nothing, really. What's the situation with you not writing, then? Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 00:30, Oct 18
i went back to grad school, so my total lifestyle change shock is just now wearing off. hopefully you'll see me continue my current attempt to be around! Sir Gerrycheevers Gun Talk 01:33, October 18, 2009 (UTC)
Cool! What are you er, majoring in? (is that the correct term?) Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 04:00, Oct 18
officially, i am continuing my astronomy studies. which means i am subtly continuing my quest to be the first person on mars. nuts to those show-off NASA test pilots! Sir Gerrycheevers Gun Talk 05:44, October 18, 2009 (UTC)
Very nice! Good luck, sir! Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 07:48, Oct 18
You're just now thanking him for a review he did in 1993? That is late thanks. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:43, October 19, 2009 (UTC)
Yeah, well, he's an Uncyclopedian. What do you expect? Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 03:45, Oct 19
I took like this astronomy class once? The teacher tried to convince us that those tiny lights we see in the sky when it's like dark and stuff are like these mega balls of fire. I was like, what does he think we are, stupid? I know there's no air in space, and you can't have fire without air! Duh! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:18, October 19, 2009 (UTC)
Careful there, partner. You don't want them science-y folks gettin' up in arms. Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 04:19, Oct 19
I thought they were the holes in the fabric of the sky that you could see heaven peeking through, but you couldn't see them during the day because the sun was being pushed across the sky by a giant dung beetle. Pup t 04:24, 19/10/2009
Oh, come now. That's just ridiculous. Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 04:25, Oct 19
I agree - I think that it's just that the sun is a much bigger hole in the sky, and it's where God looks out. Pup t 04:28, 19/10/2009
That's why you can't look at it directly--He'll fry your eyes out. Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 04:31, Oct 19

PEAR

Damned spell check! Pup t 00:41, 18/10/2009

How the heck did you get here so fast?! Darned radio puppies waiting in the wings... YOU'RE TURNING ME INTO A PARANOID, YOU KNOW!!! Thanks for the pear, it was quite tasty. Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 00:43, Oct 18

Necropaxx' bee says

User:Why do I need to provide this?/Sun Bee thanks King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:46, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

Why am I being imitated?

First PuppyontheRadio imitates my Why??? signature as How???, so I change mine to WHY not??? and now you've got your signature as How now???. Is this some kind of flattery, or are you trying to totally confuse me, or are you both trying to take credit for my tiny number of awards? It's not like you don't have enough of your own. But you can't have mine, NO NO NO! WHY not??? 00:07, October 21, 2009 (UTC)

No, none of those, although I laughed at some of the reasons. I was hoping to perpetuate the trend that Puppy started. Imagine if every user had a sig like yours! Madness! Hahahahaaa!! WHAT now ? ? ? Wednesday, 00:49, Oct 21 2009
I'll probably change it back soon. No offense, but I like my sig better. :P WHAT now ? ? ? Wednesday, 00:49, Oct 21 2009
Did you miss this one? Pup t 02:12, 21/10/2009
Oh, forgot to mention that one. Also every time I log on recently your sig has changed. The one I really like is the black silhouette of the dog listening to his master's voice. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:34, October 21, 2009 (UTC)
You have started a trend. Now Mahm00shA is doing it too with HOW comes???. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:31, October 21, 2009 (UTC)
Relax, dude. I only used it once —Mahmoosh (TalkstalkBoobsAnusPoop) 03:12, October 21, 2009 (UTC)
Aw, come on! It'll be fun! WHAT now ? ? ? Wednesday, 03:57, Oct 21 2009

Thanks for the nom, Tom

In Recognition
Of Necropaxx's support and patronage
of the fine sport of Archery ,
you are awarded one (1) gratuitous pantyshot.
Wear it with pride. Disgaea Archer by pieceofshyst.png

Love, User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig3 and WHERE brooklyn at ? ? ? 00:32, October 22, 2009 (UTC)

You're welcome, er, Guido? Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 01:06, Oct 22 2009

And more thanks

Wikus.jpg Wikus van der Merwe thanks you for voting for BlueSpiritGuy as NotM. Because you did this he will not shoot you with his big fokken alien robot. As long as you leaves his cat food out.

Don't know Wikus? Go watch District 9 loser

--BlueSpiritGuy 18:02, October 22, 2009 (UTC)

Google Chrome Screenshot of 22 Oct. 2009--please?

I should have asked you this earlier as there's not much time left. But could you (or anyone who reads this) make a Google Chrome screen shot of the Main Page for today, 22 Oct. 2009 (Uncyclopedia time). Not that I have an ego about having three things on the front page at once.... King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:31, October 22, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost (削除) 22nd (削除ここまで) 23rd October 2009

The Newspaper That DOESN'T Think It's Better Than You!

October 22nd, 2009 • Issue 68 • Semi-endorsed by Journalism Union #448

Invisible UnSignpost Issue Confuses, Annoys Readers

By Gerrycheevers

As a gag/publicity stunt/desperate cry for attention, last week's edition of Uncyclopedia's most beloved and 3rd most cherished newspaper, the UnSignpost, was rendered invisible before being delivered. After the issue was wrapped up, UnSignpost contributing editors Dexter111344 and Socky used their inherent superpowers or something to cause the issue to not appear on user's talk pages when delivered. In addition, further enhancements rendered each user's talk page history to not be altered upon delivery, thus completely erasing any evidence that the issue was delivered or even existed at any point.

Feedback thus far has been overwhelmingly negative, with angry subscribers sending death threats and exploding telegrams to the UnSignpost office for the past four days. UnSignpost Executive in Charge of Sniffing Mail, Dognewspaper (pictured), luckily suffered only minor burns and a singed tail. The UnSignpost staff would like to formally apologize to its readers, and assure them that each subsequent issue will be at least partly visible.

Poo Lit Report

By Electrified mocha chinchilla

After giving the writers time to work on their pieces, and Modus taking time enjoying the disqualification of entries for failing the mandatory steroids screening, the 8nd Edition of the Poo Lit Surprise is in its final stages – judging. This is the time where writers who entered play with their genitals out of anxiety and nervousness, and attempt to bribe the judges with sexual favors and pie.

This PLS saw a great number of entries in the Best Alternate Namespace Article. The reasoning for this, some believe, is that everyone is utterly bat fuck insane and forgot how to write regular namespace articles. Despite being held just prior to the Turkey Day Ball and Conservation Week, the turn-out was overall not bad; Modus' corporate-funded campaign for the PLS is primarily to blame for this. Speaking of corporate funding, it was indicated that there will be prize money for this edition of the PLS despite Wikia's refusal to hook a brotha' up. All irrevocable blame for Wikia's unfortunate decision has been directed at Sannse for good reason.

UPDATE Winners have been announced; congratulations to all of them. According to Modusoperandi, the next PLS is expected to be held, "When the next guy remembers it's late."

Fantasy Football Update

By Guildensternenstein

Things are really heating up in the UFFL as midseason nears, and Week Six’s storylines were of upset, domination, and redemption. Led by Tom Brady, the always-solid (削除) New England Patriots (削除ここまで) Domestic Team Name blew out the hapless (削除) Tennessee Titans (削除ここまで) Winnerz by an insane 109.38 to 0 after choking down a hard loss the previous week. The ironically-named Winnerz, on the other hand, still have yet to win a game. After a lackluster showing last week, The John Curry All-Stars earned a solid win against The Dudes, unseating them of their erstwhile #1 ranking in the process. After starting the season 0-4, Cheddar’s Doritians earned their second consecutive win, albeit against the floundering Dibiase’s Millions. Finally, Sternensteinenstine resoundingly defeated Oklahoma City Storm 164.06 to 118.98 after a lackluster showing the previous week, catapulting the Nazi-run team back atop the UFFL standings.

In a look ahead to next week’s games, Sternensteinenstine looks to stay atop the UFFL rankings against a resurgent Cheddar’s Doritians, Domestic Team Name looks to retake the #1 spot against a very solid John Curry All-Stars, Oklahoma City Storm and The Dudes face off, and the bottom-dwelling dog-fucking last-placers Dibiase’s Millions and The Winnerz will look to see which one of them is shittier.

Standings:

  1. Sternensteinenstine (5-1)
  2. Domestic Team Name (5-1)
  3. The Dudes (4-2)
  4. John Curry All-Stars (4-2)
  5. Oklahoma City Storm (3-3)
  6. Cheddar’s Doritians (2-4)
  7. Dibiase’s Millions (1-5)
  8. The Winnerz (0-6)

IT'S OVER 25,000!!! Maybe.

By Electrified mocha chinchilla

Uncyclopedia just might make the mark of 25,000 articles. Sometime soon. Maybe tomorrow. Surely it's yet another milestone that only puts us that much more ahead of Wikipedia, Conservapedia, and Das Kapital combined in content. However, thoughts from the rest of the community on what this means for our beloved wiki have been varyingly expressed as joyous, apathetic, dismal, and downright nonsensical. "But even with 25,000 articles, we're still 65,000 short of being strong enough to fight Captain Ginyu," says the attractive Guildensternenstein as we stop him on his way to Planet Namek. Others offer real conversation of a possible reskin and doubts that the mark will actually be reached with Forest Fire Week probably happening sometime. Maybe.

Discussion started by an attention whore in Miniluv over the Welcoming Committee and their welcoming template(s) has sparked the particular attention of many Uncyclopedians, most of whom by their own admission have never read the welcoming template, HTBFANJS, BGBU, any of the other things the welcome template advises new users to read, or have heard of Uncyclopedia. The recent round of QQ'ing and debating over the alleged poor quality of Uncyclopedia, as highlighted in the last edition's piece about the end being nigh and a Poo Lit Surprise nomination, can come to a close. It is this writer's observation that Uncyclopedia is the worst because nobody cares about editing guides which make confusing acronyms. Obvious correlation is obvious.

On our final stop in our stroll through the Village Dump, to your left you will see that a n00b was just kidding, jeez, and to your right you will see that Rockstar Games reads Uncyclopedia. In the former, users urge the poor fellow to read HTBFANJS and BGBU (the same ones that they probably haven't read). If anything is to be drawn from this, it is that true editing comes from within. Or something.

From our logs:
  • 23:04, October 9, 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.90.32.102 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(That was a waste of an edit. There are edit-starved kids in China that would've used that to its fullest extent, you know.)
  • 10:48, October 13, 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Dwarfman1122 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎(Thought you wouldn't be caught, eh? Maybe now you'll think twice the next time you vandalize and then wait three weeks to be banned.)
  • 18:27, October 13, 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.245.120.78 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎(Please enjoy our token Fuck the Hell Off.....)
  • 08:10, October 15, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Sudeepk9 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week (wow, we are a beacon of sunshine today, aren't we?)
  • 21:27, October 17, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(A wizard did this.)
  • 17:36, October 19, 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 72.93.168.203 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (Liking Naruto and insisting we stop making fun of it. What? How is that not a reason to permanently ban someone?)
Biopic of the Week

Sog1970 has churned out a dozen featured articles in just a few short months, earning him a Writer of the Month nod and now, the most esteemed honor on Uncyclopedia, an UnSignpost biopic. The lack of information on his user page makes writing said biopic rather difficult, but let it be known that Sog radiates awesome.

Old School Featured Article of the Week

Life's Answerable Questions are a series of ponderances and queriums that have most certainly not chafed at mankind the way other, more disgustingly unanswerable questions have. For example, asking "What's new?" to a stranger will certainly elicit a less confused response than one of those other questions. You know the ones we mean.

CAJEKWATCH
  • 05:42, October 15, 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 7 minutes ‎(Because I saw you existing.)
  • 01:23, October 16, 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 minutes ‎(HOLY SHIT IT'S CAJEK HI CAJEK PS BANBANBAN LOLOLOL)
  • 13:21, October 22, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 147 seconds ‎(I think I'm stressed, I need a release, and this is the best available on this wiki)
(削除) Random (削除ここまで) Obscene Japanese Lesson
  • "Kimi no te de boku o ikasete." means "Make me cum with your hand."
  • "Kimi no oppai ga DEKAI yo! Ii nee." means "Your breasts are HUGE! Nice."
  • "Omawarisan! Chikan o tsuka-mate!" means "Police! Arrest this pervert!"

That should keep you little squirts happy...

Reason to Leave Uncyc #387

Still no good restaurants.

This Week in Uncyc, 1933

With the United States deep in a depression, the Uncyclopedia tri-weekly newsreel tried to lighten the mood by poking fun at American President Herbert Hoover and his bumbling sidekick of a Vice President, the famed Charles Curtis. Gags included, and were limited to, both individuals being hit repeatedly with rubber chickens.

Mass Delusion of the Week

Last week, many users claim to have had similar psychic visions of an alternate Main Page, which told them to do things in a calm, soothing voice. Such notions are of course nonsense; 7 out of the 10 members who sit on the Uncyclopedia Paranormal Activity Investigation and Acupuncture Licensing Board agree that a combination of swamp gas and Venus caused some users to hallucinate vividly, some nearly to the point of seizure.

Record for Most Boxes Tied

Due to the overwhelmingly large number of stories in this week's extremely humorous edition of the UnSignpost, a correspondingly overwhelmingly large number of space-wasting side boxes had to be added to cause the issue to weigh equally on both sides of reader's talk pages. As a result, the record for number of such boxes has been tied; this issue, along with the March 24th, 1983 edition, have had the most wasted space!

Record Broken!!!

9001 (bot)  Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 18:15, Oct 23

Hey

Hey, I came here from suckish Polish Uncyclopedia, and I want to contribute here from now. But, in Poland we have a bit different rules, i.e. how to put legallyarticle to Did You Know section? Thanks in advance for answer. Ptok-Bentoniczny 22:24, October 23, 2009 (UTC)

Your English is a little off. I'm assuming you meant how to legally put an article in the DYK section? Well, you can't. Did You Know? is for cheesy one-liners. I'm not sure what you mean by your question. Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 04:24, Oct 24 2009

Vanity is mine, sayeth the Lord

I just came across this. Thank you for including me. No, really, thank you. Pup t 11:35, 24/10/2009

Heh, you're welcome. =D Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 23:48, Oct 24 2009

Thanks for your vote!

According to your ISP's records, you supported file sharing.

The Recording Industry Association of AmericaTM has notified the authorities of your unacceptable political views. Lars Ulrich will shortly visit your residence in our name to kick your teeth out.

In the meantime, thank you for voting.

--Andorin Kato 17:58, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

Oh my!

Case in point: Totally hot, and you have no chance.
Exhibit B: Non-Mormon chick. Nasty, innit?

...ooooh mmmmyyyy...   Le Cejak <5:22 Oct 27, 2009>

...You're joking right? Ha ha, very funny mister man. I'm gonna get Rahb to ban you.   Le Cejak <5:22 Oct 27, 2009>
I was just looking for a more direct contrast to "encyclopedic" articles. Modus can get pretty zany, but he's got nothing on you. He writes more "political" articles rather than "zany". Really, that's all there is to it. It's not like I find your articles funny. Please. Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 05:26, Oct 27 2009
It must be because you like me on a personal level. Yeah. I have that effect on the (削除) ladies (削除ここまで) (削除) Mormons (削除ここまで) lady Mormons.   Le Cejak <5:35 Oct 27, 2009>
Speaking of Lady Mormons: they are much hotter than normal ladies, only now you absolutely don't have a chance with them! Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 05:37, Oct 27 2009
I'm going to Provo (I know where it is) and I'm telling all those hotties about your "encyclopedic" article on Antbortions. /me shakes head, then slowly lowers it... then lifts it again, like me's about to say something, then slowly lowers it again.   Le Cejak <5:42 Oct 27, 2009>
I showed it to one of the guys in my hall and he cracked up! I was like, "how dare you like this?!" We Mormons are an evile, evile folk. Well, I am anyway. Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 05:43, Oct 27 2009
Wait wait wait... do I get both those chicks or only one? I'm sorry, swine flu is slowing me down. Send confirmation!   Le Cejak <5:51 Oct 27, 2009>
Read the shirts, silly. Also, AHHHH SWINE FLU!!! Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 05:53, Oct 27 2009
But only one of them is wearing a shirt. A shirt I can read. With words. SEND CONFIRMATION!!!!   Le Cejak <5:56 Oct 27, 2009>
I don't have the type of "confirmation" you're looking for. Although, a thought has struck me: I shall give you the answer in Book of Mormon prose: "*ahem* And it came to pass, that the one who was the hot Mormon chick said unto that servant of the devil, even that Cajek , 'I don't go for med students.' And the Cajek was struck as though he were dumb, and the hot Mormon chick did leave him to be trodden underfoot by the people, yea, verily it did come to pass thusly." Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 06:00, Oct 27 2009
That can't be the book of Mormon. It doesn't say "And it came to pass" enough. Pup 06:06, 27/10/2009
That was just one verse. Considering that every verse in the book begins and ends with it, I'd say your claims are pretty unfounded. Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 06:08, Oct 27 2009
My online username is mentioned in every. single. line. of the Mormon scriptures.   Le Cejak <6:09 Oct 27, 2009>
That's what she said! Seriously, what? Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 06:13, Oct 27 2009
Oh, ha, I misread POTR's... thing... look, I'm having two flamewars at the same time, AND I just got turned down by two women during this one. I don't have time for accuracy.   Le Cejak <6:18 Oct 27, 2009>
Dude. You got turned down by two women. You've got all the time in the world. Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 06:19, Oct 27 2009
Wait... I also have (削除) swinitis (削除ここまで) fuckin' swine flu.   Le Cejak <6:25 Oct 27, 2009>
That stinks. Also, I read User:Cajek/IRC1: you and RAHB are geniuses! Geniuses, I say! Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 06:30, Oct 27 2009
Just reread it: you're right. That was pretty freaking hilarious. I think that's when I wrote my solitary number one hit of the year.   Le Cejak <6:44 Oct 27, 2009>
Speaking of your faves, I'm only in there once! TKF is in there, like 40 times! What the heck, man?! Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 06:45, Oct 27 2009
Before I go to bed, are you referring to User:Cajek/faves? (will get around to responding tomorrow)   Le Cejak <6:57 Oct 27, 2009>
Yeah. It's the one where I put the verbal (written?) smackdown on Dexter on a VFH nom. Other than that, I'm nowhere to be seen. Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 22:34, Oct 27 2009
This what I get for having users on my watchlist. *Sniff* Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 08:22, October 27, 2009 (UTC)
I keep sitting down at the computer and thinking I'll write an article, and then find myself nattering on everybodies talk-page. This conversation stuff really messes with my communication. Pup 08:56, 27/10/2009
I can delete and protect your talkpage if you want. That's what I would do, if I wasn't so desperate for human contact. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 09:00, October 27, 2009 (UTC)
It's this talk page that's causing all the problems. I would appreciate you deleting and protecting it for me. Pup 09:20, 27/10/2009
We have been getting a considerable number of complaints about it. It's like New York in Ghostbusters. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 16:45, October 27, 2009 (UTC)
Modus, you can't guilt me into putting you back on my userpage. It won't work. No matter how you try to seduce me into doing it, it won't work. My resolve is unshakeable! Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 22:32, Oct 27 2009
Well, if it's unshakable. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:06, October 30, 2009 (UTC)
Absolutely unshakable! No way, no how will you shake my unshakable resolve! It cannot be done! Why, nothing at all could even possibly shake my resolve! Nothing at all, etc. etc. Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 06:02, Oct 30 2009
To be honest, I've already forgotten what we were talking about. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 07:09, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 29-10-2009

The Newspaper That Won't Judge You!

October 29th, 2009 • Issue 69 • Hehehe, 69

Better than ED, of course

By Electrified mocha chinchilla

After having hit the 25,000 articles mark, it's worth knowing what other people think of this wiki as it's walking down the sidewalk in its high heels and short skirt. So here are some Google searches for hits on Uncyclopedia in the last week and what it came up with:

A Star Control II forum or something-rather found here remarks on Uncyclopedia's SC2 article and other entries. Lauding such as "Uncyclopedia rocks..." overshadowed the naysaying remarks about the wiki being immature and for poopfaced doo-doo heads. The most insightful comment, by a user dubbed "Son of Atares", says, "It definitely beats Enyclopedia Dramatica in terms of funny, but that really isn't saying anything at all." Agreed.

On a Polish forum for Polish things, Polish people, and Polish things that Polish people do, some Poles or something have a great laugh at Uncyclopedia making fun of their homecountry. One ED fangirl attempts to advertise her nonsense, only to be ignored over the lulz and tears shed from reading Uncyclopedia.

Finally, a forum for progressive rock fans also enjoys some laughs at the prog rock article and the article about their own forum. That guy from There Will Be Blood blatantly lies in an attempt to seem better than thou by boldly claiming, "Uncyclopedia is not funny." Our official response to this criticism? He likes Miley Cyrus. Been there, done that, got the genital warts. The last post to the forum by the gender-confused dinosaur Littlefoot from The Land Before Time reads, " I actually think the prog articles and ProgArchives pages on Uncyclopedia are generally embarrassing attempts at funny by people who do not understand subtlety or delivery in comedy." And then a smiley face, because I guess he pwnt us or something.

Fantasy Football Midseason Meanderings

By Guildensternenstein

In real sports, midseason is typically when "experts" make "predictions" about how "the rest of the season" will "play out," and the UFFL is no exception. Here are this author’s predictions for the rest of the season, by team:

1. Sternensteinenstine (6-1): Already a game ahead and looking forward to a soft schedule in the coming weeks, Sternensteinenstine’s dominance of the UFFL will continue for the foreseeable future. In all likelihood, the Nazi Juggernaut will sweep the rest of the season with relative ease, become overconfident, take on the world’s largest nation by land area, and eventually be defeated by an international alliance in mankind’s most destructive conflict ever. Finish 13-1 (#1 seed), at the cost of 3.7 million casualties.

2. The Dudes (5-2): Facing a similarly weak series of opponents in weeks hence, The Dudes look to continue their winning ways. At about Week 11, though, they’ll run into trouble, and spend the rest of their season getting high. Finish 8-6 (#4 seed).

3. Domestic Team Name (5-2): A solid team built around consistent players, the team of housewives and aprons does relatively well the rest of the year, but gets screwed Week 8 for not having the foresight to draft a quarterback that doesn’t have a bye in Week 8. Finish 10-4 (#2 seed).

4. John Curry All-Stars (5-2): Another solid team, the All-Stars will play well for the rest of the season, but wane down the stretch when their manager loses interest in favor of watching hockey. They still make the playoffs, however. Finish (削除) 57-25-11 (削除ここまで) 9-5 (#3 seed).

5. Oklahoma City Storm (3-4): OCS is a hard seed to crack. Despite possessing one of the league’s most devoted managers, too much depends on inconsistent and disappointing players at key positions, not to mention the team’s susceptibility to tornadoes. Finish 6-8.

6. Dibiase’s Millions (2-5): The victim of not one, but two running back busts, Dibiase’s Millions have been struggling to find their stride all year, and given the production of Matt Forte and Steven Jackson, will continue to do so. Finish 4-10.

7. Cheddar’s Doritians (2-5): Though they have won two of their last three games, Cheddar’s Doritans will more than likely miss the playoffs due to their slow start. Putting too much faith in one team probably doesn’t help, either. Finish 6-8.

8. The Winnerz (0-7): Ironically enough, the Winnerz can't win. Even more ironically, if the Winnerz could figure out how to select their starting roster, they wouldn’t be half-bad. Unfortunately, signs point to the team not being able to figure that out, at least for this and possibly next season. Finish 0-14.

Cajek Ban Smackdown of the Week[1]
  • 22:35, October 26, 2009 Mordillo blocked Cajek with an expiry time of 10 seconds ‎ (CAJEK!)
  • 05:15, October 27, 2009 RAHB blocked Cajek with an expiry time of 2 minutes ‎ (Cleanup)
  • 16:23, November 2, 2009 Under user blocked Cajek with an expiry time of 37 seconds ‎ (because I answered someone's question on your talk page. no, I didn't have to, but that's not the point, is it? I'm not sure what the point IS, but it's not THAT. got it?)
  1. Remember when we did those every week? Good times. Good times.
From our logs:
  • 15:37, October 26, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 125.19.209.66 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(Cyberbullying: you, sir, need to go fuck yourself.)
  • 15:54, October 28, 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 117.198.153.14 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎(Messing up WILDE?! ARE YOU NUTS?!)
  • 22:51, October 28, 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 202.27.83.43 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎(Four strikes, you're done.)
Biopic of the Week

When PuppyOnTheRadio first appeared on the Uncyclopedia scene, everybody was wondering "What's the deal with that puppy leaving his excrement all over the place and barking at the radio?" But suddenly he started writing articles and doing reviews. And he won Noob of the Month. And Reviewer of the Month. But then his terrible secret was revealed. Puppy turned out to be (削除) gay (削除ここまで) bisexual. And an Australian too. Puppy has writ ten ma ny gr eat arti cles, has proven himself to be a formatting genius and postmodern artist, and he recently won Writer of the Month and Best Alt. Namespace Article in Poo Lit Surprise. Many are wondering what will be his next step in shaping Uncyclopedia history.

Old School Featured Article of the Week

Rogue Punchlines are extremely short jokes that can be placed after almost anything and be funny. They are both a study in minimalism and the adaptability and versatility of some jokes. Many consider Rogue Punchlines to be stupid, but you're stupid.

See? That was a rogue punchline, on loan for this article from the Oslo Museum of Humorology, and used with thanks. Work with me here....that was another one. So's your face.

Excuse for Late Delivery of the Week

Daylight Savings has unfortunately confused our editors, who misused the 'spring forward, fall back' rule to conclude that the UnSignpost should be delivered at least three days late. Also, the UnSignpost offices are full of springs of various sizes, (and one back, due to a "hilarious" misunderstanding) further complicating this issue's completion. Please accept our staff's sincerest apologies.

This Week in Uncyc, 1096 AD

With the Crusades in full swing, Uncyclopedia took full advantage by publishing searing article after searing article mocking the Holy Roman Empire. Of course, Uncyclopedia was then known as Ye Oldde Unssyloppediary Almanacke and was written mostly on bits of wood, and the 'searing' quality of the articles was mostly due to the intense flammability of that wood.

Competition Hoe-Down

With the PLS recently wrapping up, Conservation Week in full swing, and the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball rapidly approaching, Uncyclopedians have a November-appropriate cornucopia of opportunities for the crushing defeat associated with losing one or more of these competitions.

Explanation of the Week

This week, there will be no admin of the week.[1] This is because Zim ulator decided to post a comment in the press room in the hope of making it into your UnSignpost, and we're not gonna give that big ol' dick the satisfaction. You hear me, Zim? YOU'RE NEVER GETTING IN THIS... Oh shit.[2]

  1. Oh wait. We never did anything of the likes. Just forget everything I said then.
  2. Oh. And for the (削除) regular (削除ここまで) new and improved Cajek bans, look to your left.

9001 (bot)  Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 01:37, Nov 3

I followed your advice

You said Jamie Lynn Spears was good but you abstained because you and some other people thought it needed to be expanded. I asked for it to be withdrawn from VFH so I could expand it. I promised I'd let everybody know when it was ready well it's back on VFH! Admin DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 07:35, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Attn: Regarding an article hosted on your website

Dear Mr/Ms Necropaxx/archive 7,

Greetings. I am the lawyer for Arthur C. Clarke's estate.

It has come to my assistant's attention that you recently supported an article on this website (henceforth referred to as "Uncyclopedia"), namely the article titled 2001: A Space Odyssey, to be featured on the website front page.

We are honoured, although, of course:
1. We are fully aware of just how monumentally great the film is, and
2. We are preparing a suit against you for supporting copyright infringement, and the author of the article (referred to as "MacMania") is currently under arrest at Sri Lanka (not Ceylon).
*

However, we would be obliged if you would be able to do us one small favour. As interim representatives of Clarke's estate, we are in talks with Random House to commission a fifth book to add to the 2001 trilogy of four books. We've always been of the opinion that 3001: The Final Odyssey was too bleak of a book, and we would love to have the series finish on a slightly more upbeat note.
We were thinking
3010: And Another Odyssey, by J K Rowling?

Please let us know.

Your obedient servant (in a figurative sense)

James Steel

c/o Alesha Phillips
London
EC4M 7EH
UK

* Why Ceylon got the works is nobody's business but the Sinhalese.

It's a bit late, but not as late as a late parrot. Thanks! MacManiasig.png MacManiasig-cheerios.png MacManiasig-holmes.png MacManiasig-starwars.png MacManiasig-firefly.png MacManiasig-pixar.png MacManiasig-oregon.png MacManiasig-lesmiz.png MacManiasig-doctor.png HalLogo.png Portal16px.png UncycLensFlare16px.png Dalek16px.png ChekhovSig.png JapanSig.png Sir Mac Mania GUN—[13:52 3 Nov 2009]

Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

Your support is greatly appreciated.

Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:33, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

Your quote

"I think encyclopedic articles that parody Wikipedia are the soul of the site." --Necropaxx

You mean somebody actually feels that way, that it's all right for the "Uncyclopedia" to sound like an encyclopedia? From comments I've seen on VFH, it seems many people specifically do not want to see encyclopedic articles. Rather odd, huh? Just wanted to post that I like your statement. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:38, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Well, shucks. Thanks. Although I haven't really been doing encyclopedic tone that often lately. (The UnMystery, HowTo:Fish, etc.) I hope I can get back into that style. Anyway, thanks a lot! Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 03:41, Nov 4 2009

I couldn't help but notice

that you had voted for on that Flood life lessons article/list/rant triple hybrid monster thing a while back. I only got to listen to Flood a few weeks ago, and thoroughly enjoyed it, then reread that Flood life lessons article thing and thoroughly enjoyed that. Then I was somehow inspired to write this sordid shell of a half-done article. Do you think it would be salvageable upon completion? MacManiasig.png MacManiasig-cheerios.png MacManiasig-holmes.png MacManiasig-starwars.png MacManiasig-firefly.png MacManiasig-pixar.png MacManiasig-oregon.png MacManiasig-lesmiz.png MacManiasig-doctor.png HalLogo.png Portal16px.png UncycLensFlare16px.png Dalek16px.png ChekhovSig.png JapanSig.png Sir Mac Mania GUN—[05:27 5 Nov 2009]

Sorry, that just went way over my head. I voted for Hype's article not because I got the references, but because the premise was so hilarious. Your article, I'm afraid, leaves me confused. But it's my own fault for not listening to TMBG. Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 06:35, Nov 5 2009
Gotcha. Thanks. Time to gain inspiration somewhere else ... MacManiasig.png MacManiasig-cheerios.png MacManiasig-holmes.png MacManiasig-starwars.png MacManiasig-firefly.png MacManiasig-pixar.png MacManiasig-oregon.png MacManiasig-lesmiz.png MacManiasig-doctor.png HalLogo.png Portal16px.png UncycLensFlare16px.png Dalek16px.png ChekhovSig.png JapanSig.png Sir Mac Mania GUN—[14:51 5 Nov 2009]

Doth thee want to collab?

This. I'm rewriting it, and I need your help.. FreddThe Metalhedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 06:47, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

Um, I'm not sure. What direction are you going with it? Why is it 2nd-person POV? Also, I don't listen to heavy metal, so I am guaranteed to not get the Nile references. I'd be willing to do some work on it, but not until I know your concept. Also, I liked it how it was before. :( Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 18:25, Nov
It will basically remain the same as before, only with the creepy guy telling the crazy stories, then turning out to be a conman in the end. Also, no Nile or heavy metal references, only Ancient Egyptian ones. Also, you are now the co-author, you may scratch it all and totally rewrite with a whole new concept. FreddThe Metalhedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 18:33, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks

 Voting For Godot  
Globaltourniquet.png  The GlobalTourniquet says "Thanks!"  

Thanks, <insert name here>, for ruining the pathos of my plight by voting for my featured article.

Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

Your support is greatly appreciated.

Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:31, November 3, 2009 (UTC)

papyrus

I restored it to the old version that you liked.. And made it an unbook.. Now, it only needs a minor rewrite and some polishing then it's good to go. Are you in? FreddThe Metalhedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 18:55, November 9, 2009 (UTC)

I can't promise that I'll be terribly useful, but I'll definitely work on it this weekend. If I find time to do it during the week all the better, right? Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 19:12, Nov 9 2009
Ok. FreddThe Metalhedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 19:30, November 9, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks

 There is a featured article beyond all featured articles known to man...  
At the sign-post up ahead...

You have just crossed over into... the Thank You Zone.

The Global Tourniquet says "Thanks for voting for my featured article"


Two noms in a row

I've been sitting on them for a while, and given that I'm not spending as much time here as I used to I figured that I might as well get both of them in while I could. Pup

Dude. I was joking. I've often considered nominating everything I've ever made that wasn't featured just to clog up page. Also, congratulations on getting the job! Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 05:48, Nov 22 2009

Gone Vote Changing

Notice this and that? You're welcome. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:17, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

Thank you muchly, Why. Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 06:00, Nov 25 2009

I violated your user space here. You see, when I was new here, I looked for an article that was on PLS but had been moved and renamed and was thus a double redirect which was removed and then I couldn't find the article and then told everybody about it after I finally found it and asked permission to let people know and then did a single redirect and it took me over an hour to do it so to avoid all that because your article fits the exact same situation I just violated your user space and posted a note letting you know here that took me over an hour to write OK not really on that last part. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  22:13, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

Mordillo huffed my redirect, but changed the PLS page so it would redirect to your article. (It doesn't fix the page that has the judges votes, though). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:05, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

Pee Review of article about ME

I Pee Reviewed Why?:Do I need to provide this? based on version 4236705 of 10:28, November 24, 2009. I hope this helps! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:56, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

Horribly in-jokey, but it needs to have ??? after the question in the body text. It won't have a negative effect on the article for the unelightened reader, but I couldn't help expecting it somewhere in the article. Also the watermark on the third image looks nasty. Otherwise I agree with the thrust of the rest of the review. Pup
I wouldn't mind a little ??? User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig2 23:01, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

Jamie Lynn Spears Preggers Thank

User:Miley Spears/Vote Jamie Lynn Spears Admin DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 01:41, November 26, 2009 (UTC)

Count to a Million

In my defence I live under the constant expectation that alcohol will ....well actually good spot. mAttlobster. (hello) 23:47, November 28, 2009 (UTC)

Ah, it's fine. At least it didn't go any farther than that! Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 02:46, Nov 29 2009

Shucks and Dadgummit

See my response to your thanks here King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:52, November 29, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks!

TPBlogo.png Avast!

We at The Pirate Bay thank you for your support of our operations! If ever you find yourself in Sweden, drop by the Bay and enjoy our hospitality.

--Andorin Kato 07:24, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks <insert name here> for promoting homelessness

User:Why do I need to provide this?/HTBHIA thanks

King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:32, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

Conservapedia

For questions about the background of Conservapedia, you should check out RationalWiki. Despite being a wretched hive of liberal villainy, they document the goings-on of Conservapedia pretty well, specifically the things the would rather cover up (like retired admins or the FBI incident). It might delay your ban a little longer if you look before asking.

I'm confused by your third point about Conservapedia's lack of claim to authority. You're asking them to lie to you? I'd rather have someone say "Look, I'm just another mortal trying to do my best here, so that's what I'm going to do and I hope God will guide me" than have him claim to be the next (削除) Mohammed (削除ここまで) (削除) Joseph Smith (削除ここまで) prophet. But that's just me. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 18:44, December 4, 2009 (UTC)

Hey, thanks for the links. I must say, neocons terrify me. And I love the descriptor you use for RationalWiki: "wretched hive of liberal villainy." Hee!
Also, if someone claims to have been commissioned by God, it is fairly easy to tell if they are genuine or not. "By your fruits ye shall know them" and all that. Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 20:42, Dec 4 2009
Easy to say that, and yet no one can seem to agree on whose fruits are really legit. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 07:29, December 5, 2009 (UTC)
There are two types of people in this world-- those who agree with me and those who are wrong. There's also that denial thing, too. Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 07:53, Dec 5 2009
There are two types of people in this world-- me and everybody else. There's also that Holocaust denial thing, too. FreddThe Metalhedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 08:20, December 5, 2009 (UTC)
You're weird. Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 08:24, Dec 5 2009
Stand in the line. :p FreddThe Metalhedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 09:08, December 5, 2009 (UTC)

UOTM

I've cast my vote towards Why??? for this, and given a fairly extended explanation as to why, which also might be taken as a criticism of you if you choose to read it that way. Just like to say that I had trouble voting last month because I couldn't pick between the three of you, and it's only because I have been mulling this over for over a month now that I could choose, so please don't take anything that I have said as a criticism of you - just more as a huge vote of support for Why??? Pup

Dude. I don't care. Go vote for Why. More power to you. Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 02:03, Dec 6 2009
Didn't think it would be an issue, but just wanted to explain the decision. I'm thinking whichever one of you two doesn't get it this month will get it next anyway. Pup
DRAMA!!!! --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 03:51, December 6, 2009 (UTC)
*gasp* POTR, are you fixing the UotM elections?! Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 07:45, Dec 6 2009
Are they broken? Pup
Oh, and don't think I didn't see that little advertisement you left on the talk page. Shame! Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 08:27, Dec 6 2009
Oh Puppy stop being so nice. Why can't you be a jerk like some other people around here? Same goes for you too, Mr. "I'm dead but I'm still a nice guy" Necropaxx. "Rest in peace" with an xtra x, indeed. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:21, December 10, 2009 (UTC)
What can I say? It makes me more... Xtreme. Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 21:44, Dec 10 2009

Thanks a lot!

H1N1 influenza virus.jpg You voted to make H1N1 a front-page story!

Exposing millions to fear and spreading paranoia! And now the story has mutated! Misinformation everywhere! ...thanks a lot!!!

Slithy Tove 00:40, December 7, 2009 (UTC)

RotM

In regard the above, could you make your against vote so it looks like an against vote? I thought it was a comment, which is why I "fixed" the vote. Maybe if it started with "Against" or some such. Thanks! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:53, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

Done. Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 21:59, Dec 10 2009

You wrote a requested article

This user created UnBooks:Gone Fishing , an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. You're welcome!
Yes, technically both your names for the article were slightly different (it was requested as UnBooks:How to go fishing, and yours were HowTo:Fish and UnBooks:Gone Fishing), but close enough. Congrats! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  22:59, December 10, 2009 (UTC)
Really? I can't find it on the list. Are you sure it was requested? Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 23:06, Dec 10 2009
Check the history. I just removed it from the list because you already did it. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:10, December 10, 2009 (UTC)
All right then. Does MadMax know you're awarding stuffs? And thanks again for the award! Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 23:15, Dec 10 2009
Yes, plus you can even give the award to yourself. And you're welcome! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:23, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

A Fast and Furious Thanks

Teh papyrus is up for a second review

Do it, please. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Lord of Egypt AMUSE ME 03:24, December 12, 2009 (UTC)

You bother a user on hiatus with a review request? Don't hold your breath, man. Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 05:37, Dec 12 2009
You're on hiatus? For how long? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Lord of Egypt AMUSE ME 12:40, December 12, 2009 (UTC)
Monday after this next one. If I find a break I'll try to do it, but no promises. Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 00:08, Dec 13 2009
Are you "back" enough to do it, now? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Lord of Egypt AMUSE ME • 14:20 • Friday, 18-12-2009

Comrad

Malema Tired.jpg Thanks to your vote Julius Malema is one step closer to becoming President of South Africa. Nice going. What a wonderful thing democracy is. Now surrender your property to the government and move along. Nothing to see here. Except the featured article on 14 Dec 2009

--BlueSpiritGuy 10:32, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

Carnies

Thank you for the kind words, Pax, I'm glad you enjoyed the article. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:05, December 16, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the article. :) Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 23:42, Dec 17 2009

Way out west there was this fella I wanna tell ya about.

Goes by the name of Nikau. At least that was the handle a keyboard and several seconds of sugar induced stupidity gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. See, this Nikau, he called himself quite an idiot really, particularly when he spoke in 3rd person.

Anyway, thanks for remembering I exist. I am currently writing User:Nikau/Extraterrestrial life if you care to look. How have you been yourself? --Nikau 13:39, December 20, 2009 (UTC)

I liked it, but I was a little confused. Are you saying that humans go to these planets to retire, or the planets themselves are retired? Some of your word choice made me scratch my head a few times. Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 22:12, Dec 22 2009

Drama

Hi, I have just wrote an article that parodies the social phenomenon on Uncyclopedia known as Drama. Seeing as its become a bit of a problem in the past few months (years?) I thought it would be quite cool to make a section at the bottom of the article about other users' opinions of Drama. So I thought I'd invite you to write one, preferably humourous. It's no big deal if you don't want to, but if you are interested, you can come up with a quote and either leave it here on your talk page and I'll add it later, or you can go straight to the article itself and add it there. Any suggestions on improvement are also welcome. Thnx. --Matfen 00:28, December 21, 2009 (UTC)

Done. Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 23:20, Dec 22 2009

Article link here.

3-way

You. Me. Mooshi. It's on! CheddarBBQ+Talk=YUMYUM 04:35,21December,2009

Um, what? Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 23:20, Dec 22 2009
3-way Uncyclopedia Survivor alliance. Duh. CheddarBBQ+Talk=YUMYUM 23:53,22December,2009
Cmon! Only 40 mins left to vote. CheddarBBQ+Talk=YUMYUM 00:22,25December,2009

You suck at alliances. CheddarBBQ+Talk=YUMYUM 22:12,29December,2009

Forgive me for getting voted off when I had no Internet access. Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 22:16, Dec 29 2009
Yeah, it sucked. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Lord of Egypt AMUSE ME • 22:44 • Tuesday, 29-12-2009

2-way

11 to 11. With luck, we'll stay tied. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:01, December 29, 2009 (UTC)

Now 12 to 12. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  22:47, December 30, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost Delivery! - December something!

The Newspaper that took a long enough vacation to make former President Bush jealous.

December 17th, 2009• Issue 70 • Fuck You! I Felt Like It!

UnSignpost and random editor return from two month break, find that not much has changed

By THEDUDEMAN

After 2 months, one would think that things would change. But from the looks of it, nothing really has for Uncyclopedia in the past few months with out UnSignpost. In particular, the problems in caring, changing things, doing other things and caring have gone from the problems of two months ago, to the problems of now, with nothing really changing. The causes of these problems, discovered after much digging through archives seems to be the general Nobody cares aditude of the site, and the general populations inability to really change anything, because they don't care. A random user who had been missing since around the last issue of UnSignpost made this comment.

"Well, when I left, uncyc had been having its own problems and everyone had been complaining about the same things for some time and nobody really cared enough to do anything, or just couldn't make anything happen." says THEDUDEMAN, who had been missing since late September. "I thought I'd come back and see what was happening in the world of Uncyclopedia, and by the looks of it, nothing has changed"

While the general population of Uncyclopedia has been alerted to these aging problems, nobody has raised any fuss to get any of them solved. It seems nothing will ever happen because as they all say, nobody cares.

UU notices return of USP, hijacks article for own nefarious ends

By UU

Yeah, that title pretty much gives it away - evil admin UU has hijacked this section of the USP to announce two festive initiatives: the Mince Pie contest, and the Ban Parto-ho-ho-l, both of which are to be found on his userpage. So if you think you can eat more mince pies this Christmas than UU or current runaway leader Barry Gibb of Bee Gees fame, or if you want to request a friendly festive joke ban for one of your Uncyc chums, get yourselves across to the most festive userpage on the wiki!

YOU ARE ALL LAZY TALLYWHACKERS! An Editorial.

By The Woodburninator

Alright you lazy sons of bitches (no offense to Zana, of course), what in the hell have you been doing these last few months? Gerry takes time away from this (削除) awful (削除ここまで) place for, like 3 months, and no one is able to do a single UnSignpost? Not once. SINCE OCTOBER! Have we as a community forgotten the fine, upstanding tradition that this here barely read online journal has kept going since May of 2008? It is time for a little history lesson boys and girls (No offense to Zombiebaron, of course).

The Post was started by Cajek and Skully in May of 2008. That's really as far as I got with my research though, so I guess your history lesson is over. Regardless, how many amazing stories have been broken from the fine investigative journaling over the years? Like the time we broke the story that the UnSignpost was starting up. Or the time we told everyone Spang's talkpage was destroying the Wikia servers. A problem that still haunts us today. Without this venerable post, those stories never would have been unleashed upon the moronic and ignorant public that includes you, who are both a moron and ignorant. We need this thing to bring us the news, and make us laugh. We need this thing for the sake of parody. But, above anything else, we need this post in order to waste Dexter's time when he's forced to deliver them. Have you seen his edits around here over the past few weeks? That guy's getting to be WAY too useful, and if we don't stop him now, who knows what he'll do next. Fix VFH? Win Last person to edit wins? Nip this in the bud Uncyc. Nip this in the fucking bud.

From our logs:
  • 19:53, December 15, 2009 Mordillo blocked Bobbinator with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (end of the line, fuckwit. I'm going to track down your IP address and report it to the abuse department of your ISP. run and hide motherfucker, run and hide.)
  • 16:56, December 15, 2009 Under user blocked 209.175.13.46 with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (oy, fuck off. no blanking, no cyberbullying, and NO personal details like phone numbers. GTFO.)
  • 13:20, December 15, 2009 Mordillo blocked 199.43.172.254 with an expiry time of infinite ‎ ("199.43.172.254, causing trouble since 2005")
BIOPIC OF THE WEEK

AH, WHAT CAN BE SAID ABOUT THEDUDEMAN ? THE GUY EXHUDES DUDLINESS AT ALL TIMES DURING HIS TIME HERE. HE WON UNCYCLOPEDIAN OF THE MONTH IN AUGUST OF 2009. HE WON A PLS WHEN HE RE-WROTE DUDE, AN ARTICLE THAT LATER GOT FEATURED, AND FROM WHICH HE TAKES HIS NAMESAKE. HE HALFHEARTEDLY EVEN TRIED TO START THIS EDITION. HAS HE DONE OTHER THINGS THAT ARE COOL, NOTEWORTHY, AND I SHOULD BE TELLING YOU ABOUT? PROBABLY. BUT RESEARCHING ANY OF THAT WOULD FORCE ME TO GO ONTO HIS USERPAGE, AND SINCE I AM AT WORK, I AM UNABLE TO ACTUALY DO THAT. INSTEAD I'LL JUST STICK TO THE ALL CAPS GIMMICK IN A COY TIE-IN TO HIS NAME. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THEDUDEMAN.

Quote of the Week
<zim_ulator> no penis involved here
LadyCS has left #uncyclopedia
<DrSkullthumper> You just lost LadyCS's interest
(削除) Old (削除ここまで) School Featured Article of the (削除) Week (削除ここまで) (削除) Month (削除ここまで)Tri-Month

Let Someone Else Do It tm is every intelligent person's philosophy of life. There are plenty of things that if we stop doing them for a long enough time, some other sucker with less patience and a greater sense of responsibility will do them instead. This is an established law of our social reality, and it is our obligation to uphold it.

VFD Keep vote of the week.
  • Keep The less use something is, the more I identify with it. mAttlobster. (hello) 22:41, December 28, 2009 (UTC)

Late deliver courtesy of Mega Pleb Dexter111344 Complain here 23:45, December 29, 2009 (UTC)

UTOM

Congratulations on being named Uncyclopedian of the Month for December 2009! Here's your handy dandy template suitable for framing:

{{UOTM|Year=2009|Month=December}}

King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:19, January 1, 2010 (UTC)

Altough I didn't vote for you, I'd like to be the (削除) first (削除ここまで) second to say congratulations. Congratulations, necropaxx! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Lord of Egypt AMUSE ME • 04:12 • Friday, 1-01-2010
Hey, thanks, guys! That's awesome! Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 00:02, Jan 3 2010
Gee, you thank someone for not voting for you? I promise I won't vote for you for UotM for this month. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:02, January 3, 2010 (UTC)
Thbpbpbpbpbpbpbp. Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 06:05, Jan 3 2010

Papyrus

Could you do a total rewording? The prose sucks, you know. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Lord of Egypt AMUSE ME • 03:27 • Sunday, 3-01-2010

I make no promises (college & other IRL stuffs), but I will take a look at it and revise where I think it could be better. And it wasn't that bad. Honestly. Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 03:50, Jan 3 2010

A bouncy thanks!

Unbookwilson.jpg Chuck would like to thank you!

Symbol for vote.svg For. finding his Story so firm, so round and so... attractive.

Sir ACROLO KUNFPWAOTMFA •(SPAM) 18:02, January 3, 2010 (UTC)

U mad?

Did I do something to offend you? I didn't get your thanks template for UotM AND you voted against me on unsurvivor. What did I do, man? I mean, my talk page has been archived for 24 hours and no one has even raped me yet. Am I being shunned by the cabal like some sort of middle school clique and you're in on it? --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 08:44, January 4, 2010 (UTC)

Me? I thought I gave everybody one. (Well, except for Opty, but he knows why.) And I voted you 2nd place in the unsurvivor thing. Now you've got me confused. Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 14:36, Jan 4 2010
Oh yeah, you're right. You put it there right before I archived it so I forgot. But I'm in 2nd place with 9 on unsurvivor and Colin has 11, so a vote for him is a vote against me. If, however, you were to put him in last place, that would change the score completely. Not that I'm suggesting you change your vote or anything. Oh no. I'm sure you have your reasons for wanting me banned. Just please tell my family that I love them, and I'll be able to feed them again as soon as my ban expires. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 16:17, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
Also, is that you on the right? --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 16:19, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
Haha, no, that's actually my cousin. We were all there when he got called to the Sea of Tranquility, Moon mission. No baptisms yet though. Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 18:43, Jan 4 2010

I know it's late, don't bitch at me. Bitch.

Lucky.jpg I WILL FUCKING EAT YOUR FAMILY!!!


Oh, and thanks for the vote :)
--It's Magically Fucking Delicious

Leprechaun!.jpeg

CheddarBBQ+Talk=YUMYUM 20:54,4January,2010

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