Your best friend!
Product #: SCP-CN-392
Product Class: Inexpensive
Special Sales Procedures: Unnecessary
Description: SCP-CN-392 is a female cockatiel (Nymphicus hollandicus). When the object is mentioned, the person describing it will do so as if it were a product and compulsively and repeatedly attempt to sell it to any listeners until someone indicates that they wish to buy it. Following this, the subject will forget all information relating to SCP-CN-392. The object does not possess any other anomalous properties, so it makes a very good companion; it is an ideal pet, and it only costs 50 yuan. It is very easy to take care of, and will live off basic food and water. The product enjoys standing on its owner's shoulder or head, and will never poop on your head. It loves being clean and will even wash itself; you won't need to worry about cleanliness issues. While it can't speak, it is able to sing the Chocobo theme. I trust that it'll bring you endless joy.
The sole fault of this product is that once you mention it, you will uncontrollably attempt to sell it. This means that if you buy it, you can't tell anyone about it, or it'll become someone else's little avian friend. I mean, who wouldn't want to buy such a cute little birdie? Well, the fact that I'm introducing you to her means that she's already yours.
Discovery: SCP-CN-392 was discovered in PoI-9242's home. It has a very sad past, so you'll love it a lot more; the cruel PoI-9242 used SCP-CN-392 to scam people. It started like this, under the product's memetic effects, its price elasticity of demand was extremely low, so PoI-9242 successfully managed to sell it for 3 billion yuan. The price attracted the attention of the local authorities, who arrested PoI-9242, and the object was brought to the Foundation. Of note is that SCP-CN-392 should not be used by governments to artificially inflate GDP figures.
Addendum 1: Sales Log 392-A
Your best combat chicken
Researcher ███ ████████ incorrectly defined SCP-CN-392 as a "high-performance combat chicken", and attempted to sell the product as a package with Site-CN-75. After hearing about the product, several hundred Foundation personnel began to assist Researcher ███ ████████ in selling SCP-CN-392, but nobody wanted to buy it. In the end, the Foundation itself bought the product and Site-CN-75. Researcher ███ ████████ was informed that he had won the lottery. This incident is to be kept top secret.
Addendum 2: Record of communication between SCP-CN-392 Containment Head Dorothy C. and Site-CN-██ Director
Dearest Site Director of Site-CN-██:
The object is saying fuck. It might have learned it recently, but now it's saying it constantly. Please, buy it, I'll even pay you to take the damn thing off me.
Researcher Dorothy C.
Rejected.
Site-CN-██ Director █████ ████
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