███ Recipe Book - Typhoon Shelter-Style SCP-CN-3235 with Salt and Spices
The recipe-style format screw I've always wanted to write
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rating: +4
Credits
███ Recipe Book - Typhoon Shelter-Style SCP-CN-3235 with Salt and Spices
Author: MScarlet MScarlet
Translator: tetsusquared tetsusquared
The recipe-style format screw I've always wanted to write
2024 SCP-CN Short Works Contest entry
NOTICE FROM THE RECORDS AND INFORMATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION
In accordance with the agreement made with SCP-CN-3235, this document must be displayed in a certain format. Every three months, the largest SCP-CN-3235 instance in the group by physical size is to be retrieved and processed in accordance with the contents of this document, after which it is to be placed in the Site-CN-71 cafeteria as the day's meal, with personnel balloting for portions. All incantations required shall be provided before processing begins.
In accordance with the agreement made with SCP-CN-3235, outside of the abovementioned processing, no SCP-CN-3235 instances are to be harmed. Foundation management does not take any responsibility for any injury caused by violating this rule.
SCP-CN-3235 with Salt and Spices
Ingredients
- 1 SCP-CN-3235
- 1 chili pepper
- 1 clove garlic
- 2 tsp table salt
- 1 tsp five-spice powder
- 2 red onions
Preparation
- Recite incantation CN-3235-Alpha in a gentle tone of voice while making three cuts across the SCP-CN-3235's belly.
- Heat the deep fryer to 180 degrees and fry the SCP-CN-3235 until the exterior is golden-brown. Remove it from the fryer with its back facing up, while forcefully reciting incantation CN-3235-Beta.
- Mix the table salt and five-spice powder in a 10:6 ratio to produce the seasoning; chop the garlic and onions into a paste; dice the chili pepper.
- Quick-fry the onion and garlic paste, insert the SCP-CN-3235 and diced chili pepper, and in a sincere tone recite incantation CN-3235-Gamma.
- Sprinkle the seasoning in batches until evenly fried before serving on a plate while passionately reciting incantation CN-3235-Omega.
Notes:
- While preparing this dish, with the exception of the incantations, avoid speaking so as to preserve the quality of the dish.
- When correctly reciting the incantations, no sound will be produced. This is normal.
- The cuts across the SCP-CN-3235's belly are to ensure the infusion of the taste and that the SCP-CN-3235 will not curl up due to heat.
- The seasoning must be a 10:6 mixture of salt and five-spice powder.
- Apply the seasoning in multiple passes to ensure evenness of the flavor and prevent the food from going bad due to lack of seasoning.
- The finished dish must be portioned and allotted by balloting. While eating, avoid speaking or making any noise, so as to preserve the quality of the dish.
- This recipe is part of the agreement between the SCP-CN-3235 community and the SCP Foundation. The quality of the produced dish will affect the efficacy of containment procedures; as such, it is imperative that the quality of the dish is up to standard.
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