Preface: The Esperanto Branch of the SCP Foundation has discovered a considerable number of objects that are simply too minor to warrant significant attention. This document lists these objects to encourage curiosity. It can be used as a resource if knowledge of these objects is of use or is necessary in the future.
– Dr. █████ █████, Chief of Exploration, Site ██-EO
Object Description: A bronze statue of L. L. Zamenhof. When the object is physically contacted, an unidentified male voice cries out "Ĉiuj por la Fina Venko".
Date of Recovery: 12-15-2019
Location of Recovery: ████████, Poland
Current Condition: In storage.
Object Description: A Christmas tree. Its leaves redden every 25th of December.
Date of Recovery: 12-25-2021
Location of Recovery: ██████, Russia
Current Condition: In storage.
Object Description: ██ condoms labeled with "-in". Correctly putting on the object causes the immediate disappearance of male reproductive organs.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: [REDACTED]
Current Condition: In storage at Site-[DATA EXPUNGED]-EO.
Note: Unfortunately they are not "-iĉ" condoms.
Object Description: A group of human-shaped, sentient crocodiles. When a person attempts to speak to them, they respond solely with "saluton" in different tones. It is conjectured that this may be their native language.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Current Condition: Gathered in [REDACTED] under the watch of the Foundation.
Notes: Monstrously. Isn't it?
Object Description: A copy of the Unua Libro. Any vocabulary other than that found in the dictionary of the Unua Libro cannot be used when describing it. It is unknown whether proper nouns are exceptions.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Current Condition: In storage.
Notes: Nasty originalist.
Object Description: An amorphous two-dimensional life form, which can only live in screens. The object cannot be observed except when wearing glasses. If observed, the observer will regard it as their loved one, and expend everything on it, including their [REDACTED].
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2020
Location of Recovery: ████, Japan
Current Condition: Contained on the screen of a computer in Site-██-EO
Note: [EXPLETIVE REDACTED], is anything that moves your wife?
I will love her forever. — Dr. Wang
Object Description: Humanoid instances in the same uniform, with their brains replaced with microcomputers. In addition, irremovable masks are worn on their faces. They constantly perform work unconsciously, even when that work is fatal. This action cannot be prevented, even when personnel use [DATA EXPUNGED].
Date of Recovery: 05-01-████
Location of Recovery: Garbage dump next to [REDACTED] company, █████
Current Condition: Contained at Site-██-EO
Addendum:
Dr.: What are you doing?
Instance: Give me work or give me death!
Object-description: Article-paragraph with anomalous-meme. Causes the mistake-opinion that one complete-knows Esperanto-word-combining, and much-intention to article-write using the word-combining.
Re-acquire-date: 03-11-████
Re-acquire-location: In Esperanto-school.
Now-condition: Contained Site-██-EO-ward
Note: I complete-know-true-seem.