It has come to my attention that some douche bag deleted my Evil Jesus article. Revenge will be mine! Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 23:54, 25 November 2007 (UTC)

Crisis over, Evil Jesus restored. Harmony has been established in the guard house, and Jacks are better to open. Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 23:57, 9 January 2008 (UTC)

UPDATE!!! the very wrong reverend major zim_ulator Sheikh of Okinawa, Archbishop of Koza, and Rightful Heir to the Third Stripe UPDATE!!!

zim has recently had to smuggle himself across the border by hiding on his own head, after a government-sponsored "Sabbatical" in an undisclosed location, somewhere near or outside of the USA. During his stay at the hospitality suite of this unspecified re-education camp / safe house, zim underwent extended periods of sensory deprivation, verbal enmasculation, and once played checkers with a Komodo dragon. That is all for now. End transmission. Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 13:07, 26 August 2007 (UTC)

My most profound discoveries in the sphere of religion come from these inspirational sermons.

Welcome to studiOzim the online intersection time, space, and zimizm. We are currently enhancing our abilities to annoy the general public by upgrading computer hardware, software, and bizarre behavior. Although UnNews audio output has been very slow during this process, we hope you sick people who actually enjoy listening to UnNews audios have borne with us as we expand.

The rev. is also going through a series of existential crises, including a scheme to get his fat ass off of disability and into a working situation, quitting smoking (cigarettes), and dealing with the government types spying on him. He'll take money, but any other type of support is welcome. Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 18:34, 30 March 2007 (UTC)

Today rev_zim founded the radical non-practicing Coptic temperature-driven magazine, "Bat Fuck Christian High Times", as an attempt to get back at his childhood enemies. Failing that, the renowned publication persisted for almost 4 decades, after which rev_zim was finally captured by Scientologist aliens and had his brain replaced with three garden slugs. He then went into politics, where he drafted routine binary operations legislation as a fictional Congressional Representative from the State of Massachusetts. Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:53, 1 April 2007 (UTC)

confirmed miracles zim has performed[edit | edit source ]

1. Rev_zim has converted Counter.gif souls to zimizm.
2. Turned wine into piss.
3. Turned beer into piss.
4. Turned coffee into piss.
5. Quit smoking tobacco.

zimizm and you[edit | edit source ]

{{subst:Welcome}} -- {{User:Zim_ulator/sig}}

zimizm is the first cult to be completely up front in it's purpose, ie. to make zim happy. A member must give me lots of money and submit to my control. I pwn the member's mind, money and soul. To sign up, leave a message on my talk page, and I will contact those I deem worthy. That is all for now.

Rev_zim, Church of 42, 00:53, 10 August 2006 (UTC)

Existentialism and zim_ulator[edit | edit source ]

"Some people search for the answers... others just know there aren’t any questions."

~ User:Mhaille on carrots

"Uncyclopedia gets about 300 new articles a day. Out of those 300, about 200 of them die before they turn 1 day old."

~ Uncyclopedia on articles

The Zim_ulator is a single-user EUI (existential user interface). The Zim_ulator is heavily medicated. The Zim_ulator (削除) wants to be a member of the Collective, (削除ここまで) is capable of lucidity at times, but can be unreliable due to bouts of mental illness and back pain. The Zim_ulator may or may not exist at any given time orthagonally (ain't that a great word?) to this user space.

The user Fears and Obeys Cthulhu and User:MoneySign; the user knows what's good for him. The user (削除) hopes to be worthy of absorption by (削除ここまで) has devoured the souls of the Collective, (削除) else the user shall surely perish. (削除ここまで) and is in negotiation to buy out Nyarlhotep.

zimizm, a permutative or sideways Spoonerism[edit | edit source ]

zimizm it the actual official Church of Uncyclopedia There are those who insist the Unglican Church is the true church, but I dispute it flamboyantly.

zim is an ordained Minister of the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic [1] and holds a Bachelor's Degree in Spiritual Reengineering from the online University of Nescience. His virtual Church, that is, a Church specific to zimizm (a permutative or sideways Spoonerism), does not as yet exist outside the containment field of his brain. He's thinking about calling it the Church of Actuality, but frequently changes his mind about almost everything at some point, so we'll see.

From it's outset, zimizm has been devoted to the uniqueness of character defined by DNA, neuro-chemical processing, environmental pressures, and patterns implicit withing each cell, each molecule, each atom, sub-atomic particle, each (削除) string (削除ここまで) as yet to be defined thingy. As a result, the initial creation of zimizm is a catalyst which encourages, nay, even demands, schism. Therefore, I, being the Prime Mover of zimizm, so to speak, was cloven asunder and set one against the other before inducting my first convert. I am an oxygenated moron, a tao symbol thingy, both orthodox and heretic in one form. This bears some thought about the nature of the first convert, saint and sinner in the same package.

• Saint seg has been abducted into the Hall of zimizm'st Holy Saints. although she is not actually a member of the Holy Church, nor is she dead, I, zim, declare her to be St. segway the Living, patroness of Chaos. Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:41, 9 July 2006 (UTC)

• Upgraded UPR with the UnCanninator, put together recording of my conversation with the deceased Father St. Josemaría Escrivá, founder of Opus Dei. I intend to speak with more dead persons for UnNews soon. The question is, who to start with? Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 16:31, 11 July 2006 (UTC)

IRC Rules: Treat Your Zim Nicely And See What Happens[edit | edit source ]

zim_ulator is contained in three ((削除) 3 (削除ここまで)2) sockpuppets as of (削除) May 14, (削除ここまで) July 9 2006.

1. Rev_zim

2. zim_away

3. [(削除) insert random characters here (削除ここまで)]

4. NOT segway

zim_ulator enjoys underscores in his happy dreams and in meatspace

zim's Stupie-Poopie Templates[edit | edit source ]

Welcome to UnNews template[edit | edit source ]

{{user:zim ulator/welcome to UnNews}} ~~~~

Welcome to UnNews, Zim ulator, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide .

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system . You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC) Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 13:51, 3 September 2007 (UTC)

Rev zim's Blessing[edit | edit source ]

Below is a blessing to be given in lieu of a spoken blessing. Were this as spoken blessing, it would be done in a fashion peculiar to zimizm, i.e. a Nondenomenational Glossalalic Esparanto Benediction.

{{User:Zim_ulator/blessing}}

SAMPLE

{{Ninjastar|Loudhorn.jpg|UnNews Audio Ninjastar|For a fine job on your audio. Your character, wit and smarm have lulled the masses into a false sense of security. Nice job!|[[User:Zim_ulator|'''Rev_zim''']]}}

The UnCanninator[edit | edit source ]

Originally developed as a tool for interviewing the dead, zim has since modified it to peer into the future, and to extract pertinent UnFacts with which to further the cause of Dissemination of Misinformation

Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:24, 26 February 2007 (UTC)

{{User:Zim_ulator/UnNews_UnCanninator}}

UnNews don't know don't care[edit | edit source ]

This template is a disclaimer for an article for which I do audio, and I don't understand or care about the content.

{{User:Zim ulator/UnNews don't know don't care}}

Satans Template[edit | edit source ]

Satii are competing with Jesii for Uncylopedia coverage, here's a template you can use to keep your Satan aligned with the rest.

{{Satans}}

zims UnNewsAudio award[edit | edit source ]

{{User:Zim ulator/evil UnNewsAudio blessing}}

zim's Unchristianity Project[edit | edit source ]

After creating this template, zim got so excited he was going to add it to all 99 (at the time) pages under the Category Christianity. Then he thought better of it. The Unchristianity Project is his way of checking Christianity articles for "quality" (and he uses the word pugilisticly), and "fixing" stuff he finds lacking, and slapping this template where he thinks it might "add value".

{{Unchristianity}}

Contributions[edit | edit source ]

Not listed due to a confluence of the planets, and 2 bottles of cough medicine,

Awards[edit | edit source ]

Hallbug.jpg HallBugs 2007

I was flattered to be nommed Noob of the Month.

Nominated for the Emmanuel Goldstein Award of Excellence in the Distribution of Misinformation. This award recognizes superb reporting in UnNews Audio segments. My mother would be so proud, unless she knew what it is I actually do, here on Uncyclopedia. Thanks to all who voted for me. You are pre-blessed. Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 04:15, 2 June 2006 (UTC)

N.B. seen below is a mock-up of the Goldstein Award , for which I was nommed. Were this the actual award, Zombie Jesus would be eating your brain right now. Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 16:25, 2 June 2006 (UTC)

Now it is the acutal award. –H . 05:38, 1 July 2006 (UTC)