Vulva

This article is about the Vulva Car Corporation. For commercial vehicles otherwise known as the Volvo Group, see Volvo.

"******'s car is a 26 year old second hand Vulva"
– Former Takarazuka Revue Top-star turned actress while asking to Idiot Comerdian

Vulva logo with slogan

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Vulva .

Vulva is a world-famous Swedish-manufacturer of cars, trucks, buses, mooses and flugelhorns. While it's more common for women to own them, most young men would give their right arm to get their hands on a Vulva.

Corporate slogan: "You're a cunt if you don't drive one"

Cars

Always try to make sure the Vulva is wet before jumping in.

Probably one to avoid unless you like plague

The most common type of Vulva seen on the road is the family model, which fathers like to drive as much as possible, but rarely get to except on some weekends and the occasional birthday or anniversary. Of course, forgetting either of these events frequently puts the Vulva out of reach for quite some time. Although they are traditionally preferred by men, many women are also quite fond of Vulvas, especially the more luxurious carpeted models.

While seen by some to be easy to drive, Vulvas are not cross country models, and should be treated with care. Getting into a Vulva can be a quite delicate and careful process, and if you're not careful you could end up deep in the shit.

It's not uncommon for Vulvas to be seen at drive-through restaurants, as they are popular for eating out.

Inspecting a Vulva

Whenever inspecting a Vulva for the first time, it's a good idea to take things slowly, and take special care under the hood. A delicate touch is often rewarded, and with care and frequent use of the dipstick a Vulva will be servicing you well for a long time. Always make sure there's enough oil in the carter before driving away. Trying to slam the gearstick into overdrive will almost always end in disaster.

Care and Maintenance

Always make sure that your Vulva is washed after use. Many users have complained of a fishy smell, but a freshly washed Vulva is a delight to behold. Any offers to drive a friend's Vulva should be treated with caution.

Safety Features

While some Vulvas have built-in protection, it's never safe to assume anything. Whenever getting into a Vulva, make sure you have the appropriate safety features installed - an airbag on the gearstick may seem a bit over the top, but can prevent expensive accidents. Always make sure to lock the doors before revving up a Vulva to avoid any embarrassments. As any female owner of a Vulva can attest, keeping your hands inside at all times can ensure a more comfortable ride.

Too much wriggling around can, unfortunately, lead to slippage and a messy end to your ride.

Trucks

Larger Vulvas can be quite popular and have many websites dedicated to them. They are quite capable of carrying freight.

Buses

Vulvas used by the general public can be quite unpleasant to ride, especially after a long night. Care should always be taken with a Vulva that has seen regular use by many patrons, and any sticky patches or other unsightly blemishes should be avoided at all costs. Many of these Vulvas can be smelly, disease ridden death traps for the unwary.