The dictionary's difficulty in defining a shortcut comes down to interpretation of the word short - i.e. does it refer to shortness in terms of distance, or time taken.

Humans however do not face the same quandary when approaching shortcuts, as all people's from all nations and planets know that the shortest distance between two points (excepting non-euclidean geometry), is always a straight line. Therefore any route which is physically shorter than the planned route is faster.

Also take time to look out for groups of violent looking youths/escaped lunatics, dangerous wild animals (dogs, bears, leopards and so on), and any vegetable, medical, nuclear or human waste which may be seen in piles or in the form of swampland. If your alternate route contains any or more of these things then it is almost certainly a viable shortcut. The more hazards you see, the briefer and so the better the shortcut will be; a subsiding swamp in a forest full of lions guarding uranium dumps is ideal. (more...)

Recently featured: Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit - George W. Bush - Peyton Manning - Vietnam War Hoax - Uncyclopedia for Dummies

Yesterday's Featured Article

Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit is a best-selling business book originally published in the late 1500s. It achieved enormous success in Germany and England, and was later taken to the Americas where it held limited regional fame. Revived in the 1950s, Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit is one of the most successful books ever published and persists on the best-seller list to this day.

Along with Malleus Maleficarum ("The Hammer of Witches") and Weekend at Bernie's II ("The Anvil of the Witches"), Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit formed the primary works within the field. (more...)

• ... that I touched it? Fuck you, Hammer.

• ... that Gödel's famous Incompleteness Theorem states that no Talk page is ever complete? He proved it by the diagonalization method, forming a diagonal string of comments of "we should end this discussion now" entries. This result was later improved on by repeatedly adding of "Shut up".

• ...that all the evil people in Star Wars have a British accent?

• ...that the Flintstones obviously pre-dates the Honeymooners since it takes place at a time in history when men and dinosaurs shared the earth?

• ...that all wooden legs are sold with a kick-stand?

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