Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/05-08-08

UnSignpost Unleashed on UnCommunity

Unless you were blinded or high during the time you read this newspaper's title, you know that Uncyclopedia finally has UnSignpost!

For too long, Uncyclopedia has been devoid of talk page spam, such as thank you templates and welcome messages. To rectify this, Dr. Skullthumper, a local doctor and zombie specialist, and Cajek, one of the last members of the light-blue-ish species of Cajeks, have created a newspaper in the latest exercise in futility to hit the site since Forum:Count to a million.

Skullthumper and Cajek spent 15 hours working on the first edition, not including writing time. Said Skull, who was trying to sleep until we interviewed him, "Those assholes better appreciate this. They'd BETTER."

News has reached us that friendships were strained during the production of the first issue. Skullthumper, whose hospital room we broke into, said "F**king Cajek. I will NEVER forgive him for what he did to me! Oh, see you guys in the office Monday."

The Uncyclopedia Signpost has a world-wide circulation of more than 3, with plans for further issues.

Uncyclopedia F**king Doomed

Uncyclopedia, a humor wiki that you're on right now, has thrown itself into a state of chaos and is on the verge of collapse. Unless someone either writes more or writes less, the wiki that we have come to know and love (like that retarded cousin that comes over during Christmastime) will vanish. Unless it doesn't, in which case someone's going to be very disappointed. Codeine, Save the Mooses, and a bunch of other people we've never heard of give the site 6 days to "clean up its god damned act."

Because the site is doomed, the local WikiNewspaper, UnSignpost, will soon print its last issue. Cajek, one of the editors, said of the event, "No we're not closing down you bunch a 'tards! You're the worst reporters I've ever seen! DON'T YOU DARE PUT THAT IN THE FIRST ISSUE!"

Local psychics have set Uncyclopedia's Doomsday for next Monday, around teatime.

Upgrade
On Wednesday, Wikia upgraded to MediaWiki version 1.12. While these reporters don't have any idea what that means, new features seem to include:

• Broken <choose> tags! That's right, even more signature-breaking action!
• Russian Roulette usergroups! So you thought you had rollback rights, huh? Whoops! Not anymore!

Wikia is reportedly looking into making new features such as accidentally dumping the database for Shits and Giggles™. These reporters would like to thank Wikia for working so hard to keep our beloved wiki running, and would also like to say "FU WIKIA", preferably in caps.

Pee Review Does Goodly
UN:PR is nearly empty due to many diligent reviewers who have little else to do, and don't know how to write articles themselves. Uh, unless they're reading this right now, in which case they rock!

YesTimeToEdit starts a cult

One of the newer cults, YesTimeToEdit's Cow Moo Cult is our... CULT OF THE WEEK!

With a base located in the jungles of Nebraska, YTTE's cult makes all the fun things you want, like polygamy, sodomy, and, in YTTE'S case, polysodomy, legal. Sadly, unlike more Eastern-y cults, it does not practice Kung Fu. But you can bet that if it did, it wouldn't just use it for defense. ...Damn namby-pamby bastard Easterny cults.

YesTimeToEdit's eternal nemesis, NoTimeToRevert, has not announced plans to start a cult, but probably has one in secret just to be a dick. That guy is such a dick.

Rcmurphy nominated for Noob of the Month again
Thekillerfroggy is sucked into the black vortex of tradition as he takes another whack at a dead horse and nominates long-time noob Rcmurphy for the honor of Noob of the Month. Mr. Froggy had this to say to "reporters": "I figured that, since RCMurphy, one of the oldest members of the site, was in fact NOT a noob, that this little gesture would give the community a giggle. You see? Because he, like, isn't a noob."