User:Bad Motherfucker

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Bad Motherfucker
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION WARNING:
YOU ARE IN BIG, BIG TROUBLE!
Simply viewing this web page is a Class I federal felony punishable by jail time and a hefty fine. Stop reading immediately and report to your nearest re-education center.
Get fucked.
Writer of the Year Award Writer of the Year 2023


  • Greatest Uncyclopedian of All Time
  • Bad Motherfucker
  • Ph.D, Attorney at Law, General of the Army
Badmotherfucker2.png
Get fucked.
Born
  • Kentucky, United States
Other namesSodapoppers
EducationRingling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Clown College BMFclowncertificate.png
AwardsHall of Shame, Writer of the Year 2023
Websitehttps://open.spotify.com/playlist/3tRt0UbRtgdtlbpWGSujR0?si=72abd79c89ca4d91
AllegianceBlackman crime family, Mozzarella crime family, Parmesan crime family, Whiteman crime family, Bubbles crime family
Criminal charge
  • Arms trafficking
  • Arson
  • Assault
  • Battery
  • Bribery
  • Burglary
  • Cigarette smuggling
  • Chop shop
  • Conspiracy
  • Contract killing
  • Counterfeiting
  • Drug trafficking
  • Extortion
  • Fencing
  • Fraud
  • Illegal gambling
  • Larceny
  • Loansharking
  • Money laundering
  • Murder
  • Racketeering
  • Robbery
  • Skimming
  • Theft
  • Truck hijacking
  • Tax evasion
  • Protection rackets
Reward amount
Onemilliondollarbill.jpg
Wanted by
  • U.S. Air Force Office of Special Investigations
  • U.S. Army Criminal Investigation Division
  • U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms
  • U.S. Capitol Police
  • U.S. Central Intelligence Agency
  • U.S. Coast Guard Investigative Service
  • U.S. Customs and Border Protection
  • U.S. Defense Criminal Investigative Service
  • U.S. Defense Intelligence Agency
  • U.S. Department of Homeland Security
  • U.S. Department of State’s Diplomatic Security Service
  • U.S. Department of Transportation, National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, Office of Odometer Fraud Investigation
  • U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration
  • U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation
  • U.S. Federal Protective Service
  • U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement
  • U.S. IRS Criminal Investigations Division
  • U.S. Marshal Service
  • U.S. Naval Criminal Investigative Service
  • U.S. Office of Special Investigations
  • U.S. Park Police
  • U.S. Postal Inspection Service
  • U.S. Probation and Pretrial Services
  • U.S. Secret Service
Partner(s)Jimmy Blackman, Jimmy Mozzarella, Jimmy Parmesan, Jimmy Whiteman, Milwaukee Cheese Bandit, Bubbles the Clown
Wanted sinceSeptember 21, 2022 (join date)
Time at large
September 21, 2022 - ????
This user is in the
U. S. Army.
This user is a
Private First Class.
This user is a Field Artilleryman.
Writer of the Year Award Writer of the Year 2023
This user is the Director of the Uncyclopedia Marshals Service .
This user has been on Uncyclopedia for
2 years, 4 months and 12 days.
This user has been an admin on Uncyclopedia for
9 months and 3 days.
Number of edits: 2,605
This user's real age is:
19 years, 1 month and 27 days.
Are You Experienced?
This user is well-versed in
bird law .
This user devours babies . Whole.
THIS IS NOT SPARTA!
This user is a serial killer , and they are standing right behind you!!
This user respects
and admires the
fine art of trolling .
NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!
This user says things that may not be work safe.
This user loves the UFC.
This user is a fan of the Flint Tropics
This user is a fan of the Philadelphia 76ers.
This user's sex appeal is such that people around the world compulsively shout their name during intercourse.
This user is Jimi Hendrix's number one fan.
This user plays the guitar.
This user just died a glorious death!
This user is part of the Mafia. Gabagool!
This user just passed away a couple of minutes ago, due to a car crash.
This user is American
…and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)
This user loves to play baseball.
Get fucked.
This user shot J.F.Kennedy.
DON'T TELL THIS USER'S MUMMY!
Fisher-Price Go eat shit fuckers!

HALL OF SHAME MEMBER, PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT!!!

Hello! You're now wanted by every single federal agency in the United States. Get fucked.
You voted for " I got fucked..." on 12 January 2025 at 18:33. You can change your vote by clicking a different answer below.
3
10
5
There were 18 votes since the poll was created on 20:04, 5 June 2023.
poll-id 4F1CED6E0D582E5E726F838EE5EF0313

Articles I've created

Fun facts about me

  • The only person to duel Clint Eastwood and survive
  • I am the inventor of the penis balloon
  • I have 900 million pennies
  • I've walked across the Sahara Desert with only a pack of Newports and a fifth of Henny
  • I possess the JFK Love Files
  • I once fought the law, and I won
  • I hosted a Michael Jackson concert in Hell, and he's still performing there to this day
  • My personal car is the O. J. Simpson Bronco
  • I also used to drive Bonnie and Clyde's death car, but I traded it for the Bronco
  • I wrecked Dale Earnhardt at the Talladega 500
  • I was the first person to receive fellatio on Mount Everest

Things I've learned the hard way

  • Do not honk Ronald McDonald's nose

Words and quotes to live by

" What I want in a woman is protection. Loyalty. Companionship. Friendship. Ferociousness. I want her to protect me, and have my back to the bitter end. If I have a fight, I want her to jump in, even if I’m winning, even if she’s ninety pounds. I like strong women – not necessarily a masculine woman – but say a woman who runs a CEO corporation, a woman with confidence. Massive confidence. And then I want to tattoo my name on her ass and dominate her sexually. "
— Mike Tyson


" This is the best mustard I've ever tasted! "


" Know your hole... and stuff your mouth... "
— Dwayne "The Croc" Johnson


" Where there is baseball, there is bound to be MILFs. "
— Me


" That's some grand cleavage, madam. "
— Me


" Lemme tell you what 'Like a Virgin' is about. It's all about this cooze who's a regular fuck machine, I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick. "


" I miss my ex-wife... SIKE lol "


" she's dead i killed her "


" First, take a big step back... and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of Uncyclopedia bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but all of Uncyclopedia is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an un-godly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I'm talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP! "
— Me, technically


" America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, badass speed. "
— Eleanor Roosevelt


JOIN THE UNCYCLOPEDIA MARSHALS SERVICE!

U.M.S.png Uncyclopedia Marshals Service U.M.S.png

Awesome! A dollar!

US one dollar bill, obverse, series 2009.jpg Click here to redeem it!

What I've been doing

  • Burning down city hall and banging the mayor's wife
  • Fingering the president's wife
  • Placing banana peels on the top of stairs
  • Watching an elderly person struggle with opening a jar and saying "Allow me," only to tighten it even more
  • Throwing shit at people, like a monkey
  • Releasing a gorilla in a fake looking gorilla suit inside of a mall
  • Screaming "There's a hawk up my ass!"
  • Punting babies and small animals into tornados
  • Throwing hotdogs at the mall cop
  • Shooting wizards with shotguns
  • Rigging port-a-potties to explode
  • Pawning war medals
  • Assassinating the CEO of Skittles
  • Snorting three lines of gunpowder and eating a stick of deodorant
  • Robbing Fort Knox
  • Loudly struggling to open a Snickers bar in the Vatican
  • Torturing Colonel Sanders for the 11 secret herbs and spices
  • Why the fuck should I tell you?
  • Taping worms to myself and swallowing dirt
  • Naming my dick Notorious because it's B.I.G.
  • Having thirty sons named Chad
  • Sewing two hamsters together
  • Kidnapping baby monkeys and raising them
  • Disregarding bitches and acquiring currency
  • Getting stabbed to death by a man in a sombrero
  • Smoking a ridiculously huge cigar
  • Running over the cheerleaders
  • Hilariously chasing down a crying toddler with a lawnmower
  • Killing Private Ryan
  • Leaving goblins in the Denny's dumpsters
  • Pissing directly into a toaster
  • Stealing the Coca-Cola recipe
  • Watching a magician fuck up over and over again
  • Smuggling people into Italy for 20ドル dollars and a handjob
  • Destroying the Pyramids of Giza
  • Enslaving Bigfoot
  • Slowly weakening the glass at the world's largest aquarium
  • Stealing Tobuscus' online identity in a drawing game (This one is actually true, I was 10 years old, and it was actually in one of his videos)
  • Chugging lava lamps
  • Being Loud on the Western Front
  • Getting shot by Clint Eastwood while Morgan Freeman narrates it
  • Beating up Uncle Pep Pep
  • Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay
  • Conquering Nevada

Things I've pondered about

  • Will He Bonk Ya In The Chocolate Blactory?
  • Is Abraham Lincoln allowed to say the n-word?

GAMBLE! GAMBLE! GAMBLE!

My list of prestigious and totally legit awards and accomplishments

Red And White Vintage Santa ́s List Certificate.png BMFclowncertificate.png



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