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• Wednesday, 10 Feb, 2010 Mars new confection: Jesus' Pieces
• Sunday, 31 Mar, 2024 Captain of ship that destroyed Baltimore bridge foiled by Upstate NY bridge
• Thursday, 07 Oct, 2010 Midnight cabbage runs capture economic desperation
• Sunday, 13 Aug, 2017 In response to Charlottesville incident
• Wednesday, 14 Mar, 2012 Bread Companies Under Fire by NAACP
• Wednesday, 22 Feb, 2012 Rape of pregnant women legalized in Virginia
• Sunday, 06 Jun, 2010 Student sentenced for filming porn with school teacher
• Wednesday, 13 Feb, 2008 Baltimore cop suspended
• Monday, 10 Sep, 2007 Local police baffled by Millionaire's Suicide
• Sunday, 24 Jun, 2007 To cut back on sexual behavior, local preschool bans all interaction between students

• Friday, 03 Feb, 2012 Baby trapped in well turns 25
• Saturday, 31 May, 2008 Town council takes 'steps' to tackle crime
• Tuesday, 17 Jan, 2012 Newt Gingrich calls kettle black, GOP monkey house continues
• Sunday, 08 Nov, 2009 Two skydivers, No chute, Oh shit!
• Saturday, 16 Dec, 2006 South Carolina secedes
• Thursday, 11 Feb, 2010 South Carolina law causes job losses in insurgency-related businesses
• Wednesday, 27 Jan, 2010 Congressman who heckled Obama promises to show restraint at State of the Union address
• Thursday, 12 Aug, 2010 Webster changes "school" to "shcool" after embarrasing typo
• Tuesday, 26 Jan, 2010 SC Lieutenant Governor Bauer Taking On The Strays in Real Time
• Thursday, 19 Mar, 2009 SC Gov wants to "resouthify" with 8ドルB bailout for state
• Sunday, 01 Apr, 2007 Bombings on South Carolina force thousands below ground

• Wednesday, 17 Feb, 2010 Florida man has cookout ruined by inclement weather
• Thursday, 13 Jun, 2024 God deluges Southern Florida in rain
• Thursday, 27 Sep, 2012 Fucking Hurricane Fucking Lost
• Friday, 05 Oct, 2012 Hurricane scientists can't believe Nadine just gone
• Saturday, 25 Feb, 2012 New Hampshire joins European Union
• Wednesday, 30 Oct, 2013 Martin Luther King's tomb discovered
• Saturday, 25 Feb, 2023 New Florida bill would abolish all pronouns
• Wednesday, 04 Nov, 2009 Marijuana Legalized in Florida for Even-Numbered addresses
• Saturday, 16 Jun, 2007 Florida flooded by global warming, Sea World ironically left above water
• Tuesday, 19 Jun, 2007 Procrastinators Unite Today; Shirt Enthusiasts Enraged
• Monday, 09 Jan, 2012 Bibowler Girl bowls 900 series
• Monday, 17 May, 2010 Literacy declining in Florida, study finds
• Thursday, 18 Feb, 2010 Person Determines Own Importance
• Thursday, 10 Dec, 2009 Fire breathing dolphins invade Florida coast
• Sunday, 12 Oct, 2008 I am hungry
• Sunday, 21 Sep, 2008 Hostages taken, Mickey Mouse refuses to negotiate
• Tuesday, 17 Feb, 2009 Cleaver craze of 2008 finally dies down
• Wednesday, 02 Jul, 2008 Jesus turns on rapture
• Sunday, 18 Apr, 2010 Priest charged in Craigslist sex sting
• Wednesday, 21 Aug, 2019 Florida man turns Spider-Man into Carpenter's They Live

• Sunday, 06 Mar, 2011 Local grandmother finally uses printer
• Tuesday, 14 Mar, 2006 Last spot in heaven taken; hundreds waitlisted
• Monday, 03 Mar, 2008 "Hungry Hungry Hippos" celebrates anniversary
• Sunday, 16 Dec, 2007 Massachusetts school's winter break renamed to please all religions
• Saturday, 04 Aug, 2012 Man crushes police cars because "they took all my weed"
• Saturday, 17 Apr, 2010 Wal-Mart takes over Rhode Island; Oprah chosen to narrate documentary miniseries
• Sunday, 30 May, 2010 Mass. Gov. Deval Patrick, "I will play the race card"
• Tuesday, 11 May, 2010 Lord Jesus Christ (his real name) hit by car
• Friday, 18 Jun, 2010 Mom: R.I. school bans 8-year-old son's patriotic hat with army figures
• Sunday, 18 Apr, 2010 Priest charged in Craigslist sex sting
• Friday, 19 Mar, 2010 Boston hockey game features retaliation, fans delighted
• Saturday, 26 Dec, 2009 Tarantula-pug dog cloned successfully
• Friday, 23 Jun, 2006 Proposal to Ban Sugar in Massachusetts
• Tuesday, 24 Jan, 2012 'This Might Be Giant,' say Lincoln Police
• Saturday, 27 Apr, 2013 Cash sandwich invented
• Saturday, 12 May, 2012 Elizabeth Warren destroys the universe
• Friday, 07 Jan, 2011 Gay sports writer comes out
• Saturday, 26 Jun, 2010 No suspicion in death of local pol
• Monday, 05 Jul, 2010 Amateur wrestler arrested on animal cruelty charges
• Tuesday, 31 Aug, 2010 Boston's SCVNGR, a web site with a difference

• Saturday, 06 Jun, 2009 Petting Zoos to be converted to abuse-themed "Punching Zoos"
• Monday, 30 Jul, 2007 Woman gives birth to weasel
• Friday, 21 Apr, 2006 Local man drops vase
• Saturday, 21 Sep, 2024 Microsoft's "smart AI" reactivates infamous, shuttered nuclear plant
• Monday, 30 Jan, 2012 PepsiCo Announces Pepsi Throwback Throwback for 2012
• Wednesday, 06 Apr, 2011 911 conspiracies explained by a sandwich
• Friday, 11 Sep, 2009 9/11 personal recollections
• Wednesday, 18 Apr, 2007 New Jersey Governor's car crash caused by 88mph time-travel attempt
• Friday, 21 Dec, 2012 Elephant beaten to death with grandmother
• Monday, 21 Jul, 2008 Ugly Child Abducted, Quickly Returned
• Monday, 03 Oct, 2011 New Jersey governor Chris Christie poops in his pants
• Friday, 22 Apr, 2011 Brick, New Jersey SWAT team bored to death
• Friday, 22 Apr, 2011 To honor Earth Day, man goes over Niagara Falls in teacup
• Saturday, 30 Jan, 2010 New York Evicted from Ground 0
• Wednesday, 17 Mar, 2010 Niagara Falls loses job
• Tuesday, 06 Apr, 2010 Alleged war criminal spotted in NYC
• Sunday, 24 May, 2009 New York Times introduces "worse than Ghost Dad" rating
• Tuesday, 07 Oct, 2008 Pessimist on Wall Street forgets to turn off oven
• Thursday, 22 Nov, 2007 Manhattan teen on suicide watch after doctors tell her no cure for flatulence
• Thursday, 05 Jun, 2008 New Jersey cop tasers a suspicious deer.

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