Handleism
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Handleism is an unexplainable, uncontrollable urge to assign things to handles, as well as handles to things. Not to be confused with handelism, as doing so is far from easy to handle. Sufferers experience sleepwalking night time trips to the local DIY store in their pyjamas, and also often in slippers. However they can't do it because they don't B&Q it.
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