My best advice is: don't give advice (my own assertion, acknowledged and ignored). Your coworker/friend/mentee is, as others have said, quite aware of their size. 400# doesn't go unnoticed by the person carrying it around. Trust me on that. The best thing to do may be to simply engage them in opportunities to be more social, more active/engaged, and perhaps model your own healthy behaviors around them. Talk openly, but not pointedly, about changes you are making in your own life- even if they are not exactly the same. If that type of relationship doesn't feel safe, authentic, genuine and sustainable to you, then truly, and respectfully, I would not even approach the subject. It's like having someone flay you open, without sticking around to stitch you back up...situations like that send a person back out into this beautiful and gut-wrenching world without their armor intact...bleeding out. I guess I am saying, i think we (helpers and healers) need to be mindful of how much intimacy we presume with others- it is a responsibility not to be taken lightly. Ones deepest insecurities and fears, should be OFF LIMITS for casual (even if concerned) inquiry, unless you are a very present, engaging, trusted, supportive, reliable friend...or their therapist. My opinion and perspective only, but it comes from lived experience, and might be food for thought... Healthy doesn't have a weight, and likewise, unhealthy exists across the scale. Moving toward wellness is the ideal direction, for every one of us...especially successful when we are ready and have support. The only way forward is through. Best wishes to you both! Be well.
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