Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Coen Brothers
Coen Brothers [edit source ]
TPLN 23:28, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
Your writting is passable, but certainly not great. I would suggest changing your tone completely; to a more deadpan, serious, "Coen brothers' dialog" type thing. That would make the article soooo much better I can't even really stress it.
You've really got to rearrange this. Move filmography to the very end, as that's where such lists are typically located anyway. This was, you can establish the "botched" joke, and then finish off the article with a "botched hurrah" of sorts with the filmography.
Existing sections should be fleshed out a great deal. As one of your jokes is how the two are basically the same person, give each brother a seperate section. Then, in each section, write exactly the same things, with the exceptions of the bits about director-producer credits and wife-having (plus whatever other "differences" you manage to dig up).
The introduction should be rewritten. Establish all your jokes there, and then move on to the rest of the article.
One thing you should definitely expand upon is the dialog section. Move the example dialog from the introduction here, and then add maybe one or two more similar examples.
Needless to say, I knew your review would be helpful. I made some good changes, but I don't think the WIP is ready to come off yet. I'm not really doing too well with the biography section. I couldn't make your idea work, and everything else I tried just got boring. I'll come back to it. Maybe you have some specific ideas? In the mean time, check out my update. Thanks.
- Gave it a look just now. The article looks much better, plus you've got yourself some images with some good captions ("Shut the fuck up, Donnie"). This'ld probably be somewhere around a 40ish in my book, so a definite improvement. --Guildensternenstein 05:03, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
- Not adding anything constructive, I just had to say: "what's the rumpus?" --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 09:47, Feb 11
- What's the rumpus? I'm gettin' the high hat over here, that's what...
- Not adding anything constructive, I just had to say: "what's the rumpus?" --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 09:47, Feb 11