UnPoetia:Antiphallus
"Antiphallus", a.k.a. "The Glowing Penis That Wasn't There"
An original poem by Hughe Jarekshun
- Yesterday, while browsing media
- I saw a penis on Uncyclopedia
- It was featured for the day
- I think, I think I'm turning gay...
- When I came back to the same place
- The cock was staring me in the face
- Yet when I checked its history
- I couldn't believe what I did see
- EugeneKay! EugeneKay! I can't believe it was his!
- Look away! Look away! Lord, please don't let me jizz... (*squirt!*)
- Last night on this same media
- No glowing penis graced the 'pedia
- Neither was it there today
- Oh, but I think it turned me gay!
Bonerism • Booby prize • Booby trap • Boyfriend • Bro • Bro Code • Can I borrow 5 bucks? • Castration • Cock shock • Erection • Father • Grandpa • Guy Code • Hetero • History of Man • Husband • International Rules Of Manhood • Lawnmower-Humvee • Limp Dick • Lynx Cool Metal Shower Gel • Male • Male privilege • Man • Man ball • Man flu • Man scale • Mancard • Man's best friend • Manscaping • Mantuition • Masculism • Morning wood • Pant Scrunching • Penis Enlargement Techniques • Penis • Penis penis Penis penis penis penis Penis penis • Price check • Puppy dog tail • Rocky Mountain Oysters • Rules of the Men's Room • Semen • Seven ages of man • Sir • Snips, snails and puppy dog tails • Straight • Testicles • Testicular torsion • Things Women Didn't Need To Know About Men
Avenge my death • Brawny • Conversations With My Father • Father issues • HowTo:Fight the man • Gramp's Insane Ramblings • Men's rights movement
Bart Simpson is sleeping with your wife • Galactic bulge • Bra removal • Dick-sucking contest • I assume it's my penis • Metrosexuality • Penile suppressor • Penis jousting • Penis removal • Rob A Bank With Your Penis • Sissy • SPA • TPS • Teabag everything that moves
Women
Ex wife owners manual • HowTo:Ask a girl out • HowTo:Control Women • HowTo:Date an Emo Girl • HowTo:Find a girlfriend • HowTo:Get Laid • HowTo:Get Married • HowTo:Hunt Interesting Exotic Dancer Conversation • HowTo:Impress a Girl • HowTo:Make girls like you • HowTo:Make Girls Love You • HowTo:Meet women • HowTo:Pick Up a Nymphomaniac • HowTo:Pick Up and Keep Women • HowTo:Pick up chicks • HowTo:Pick up female nerds • HowTo:Run Away From Fat Ladies • HowTo:Score a Chick • HowTo:Stop Ugly Girls from Liking You • HowTo:Survive a Girl Attack • HowTo:Trick Women in 3 Easy Steps • Picking up chicks • The Useless Idiot's Guide to Girlfriends • UnBooks:An 82 Year Old Woman Wants My Body! • UnBooks:So, you woke up next to a hooker: a guide to general etiquette • UnBooks:The Complete Idiot's Guide To Talking To Women • UnBooks:The Idiot's Guide to Getting Your Own Back • Wife OS • Why?:You Will Never Have a Chance in Hell With Her
Army men • Assquatch • Batman • Biggus Dickus • Dirty Old Men • Emo Man • First man on the sun • He-Man • Intelligent men • Janitor Man • Man Babies • Man on the fire exit signs • Old White Man • Old man down the street • Pac-Man • Renaissance Man • Swamp Adventure Amusement Park Ride Announcer Man • The Man • The American Man • The Dice Man • The G-Man • The Muffin Man • The Music Man • The Wolf Man • The Weatherman
A nice enough guy • Creepy guy who lives across the street • Some guy you've never heard of • That Guy • This Guy • Rich guys who blow all their money on expensive whores • What's-his-name off that thing • Your Dad
Boy • Boy band • Boy racer • Ghetto White Boy Syndrome • Joseph Stalin's Secret Jamaican Boys... • Little boy who lives down the street • Marmite School for Boys and Young Gentlemen • Pool Boy • UnBooks:The Boy Who Cried Wolf • UnPoetia:As a boy • UnPoetia:Little Boy • Vatican Boys Punishment Squad • Virtual Boy • Your Boyfriend
Isle of Man • High school: an essay by an old lonely man in a retirement home • Pen Island • Strip club
A Day With My Son • Battle of the Bulge in my Pants • Burning Man •Panty raid • Take Your Son To Work Day
"Don't worry, you'll meet somebody," says girl • American Penis Restrictions to Begin This Week • It's still not okay to Pull Your Penis out in Public • Male ego reaches all time high • Man decides against going to work • Man dies after having sex with his gun • Man goes to work; wife fucks his neighbor • Man's nipples fall right off • New penis developer 'a success' • Respected theologians call for return to wife beating
Reading
HowTo:Be a Badass • HowTo:Be A Dad • HowTo:Be A Man • HowTo:Be Macho • HowTo:Become a wise old man • HowTo:Find the Remote Control • HowTo:Get a boner • HowTo:Get Others to Do Your Work for You • HowTo:Hold a Handbag Like a Man • HowTo:Hug another man • HowTo:Kick a man when he's down • HowTo:Make a That's What She Said joke • HowTo:Make Breakfast Goo (For Men) • HowTo:Stop Being a Nerd • HowTo:Take It Easy, Man • HowTo:Teach a six-legged lame man how to jump rope • HowTo:Tell if your son is gay • The Man: A Primer and Something of a Call to Action • The Obese Man's Handbook • UnBooks:A Story, About a Man, that Comes to an Eventual Conclusion • UnBooks:The Old Man and LV • UnPoetia:Antiphallus • UnPoetia:I got hit with a bag of dicks just to prove a point • UnPoetia:There once was a limerick... • UnScripts:Man Struggles to Explain Anal Sex to Son • UnScripts:Rain Man: The Musical • UnScripts:The Best Man
