UnNews:Help Uncyclopedia Buy Weird Al
Tuesday, February 11, 2025
UncyclopediaRepublic.PNG ALBUQUERQUEFICATION -- Have you ever listened to a fictional Weird Al album and thought, "You know what UnTunes needs? More professional singers, Bermudas, and Jack Black music videos." Well, we have a once-in-2-lifetimes opportunity to make that album a reality.
Let’s buy Weird Al from Elon Musk!
Yes, you heard that right.
Weird Al could be ours, and we need your help to make it happen.
Why Weird Al?[edit | edit source ]
- Eardrum Friendliness: Let’s face it, Uncyclopedia's vocalists are... well, let’s just say they're Billy Corgan. Al has a wider range than Mariah Carey.
- Kanye: Expanding our Kanye repertoire by 2? Yes, please.
- Roger Waters: Multiplying our Waters repertoire by 9,000? Why the hell not.
Why Musk Might Sell[edit | edit source ]
Let’s be honest – Musk is less sexy than Larry David's last girlfriend discussing sex musk. Also, he just failed buying regular AI for 100ドル billion, so it might get easier with the weird one.
And hey, we're even throwing in a nice Al-promoting UnNews to sweeten the deal.
As for the will of Al? Well, let’s face it – when has that ever stopped him? If Elon wants to get weird with Al, he’ll get weird with Al.
The Tremendous Plan[edit | edit source ]
- Crowdfunding Goal of 100ドル quadrillion (give or take a few trillion). That’s just 200ドル billion from every Uncyclopedian worldwide.
- Kakun will send you a free Palestinian for every donation of 200ドル billion.
- We will physically return Al safely to his physical family after the album has been physically released, perhaps with some physical hummus marks.
- Uncyclopedian Values: Each Al fan will finally learn that hummus does not equal Hamas. Hummus is a food that pretends to be mayo, but not all brands are as good as Heinz. Hamas is a terrorist organization that pretends to be a political party AND hummus. It has 2 brands, a Palestinian one and an Israeli one, both are run by Benjamin Netanyahu.
Perks for Donors[edit | edit source ]
- 2ドル
- A personalized thank-you note from Zombiebaron (okay, maybe just a ninjastar).
- 200ドル
- A virtual Aloha from Mr. Garrison on his social network, EclairWood.
- 2,000,000ドル
- A lifetime supply of Kakun-written parodies (Roger Waters not included).
- 2ドル billion
- Your name on the credits of Alected , unless your name is Roger Waters.
- 200ドル billion
- Your own private Palestinian from Palestine (terms and conditions apply).
Quotes[edit | edit source ]
"I may not be an active Uncyclopedian, but my Tethered brother Kakun sure is. Let's bring a little Middle-Eastern magic to Lynwood and make it New Alestine! Because Stine means Jewish!"
"Make Al Israeli for the First Time."
From Jerusalem to Albuquerque – Let’s Make Al Israeli![edit | edit source ]
So, what do you say, Uncyclopedia?
Let’s make history and buy Weird Al. Together, we can bring a little bit of Sophia magic to Good Ol' Lynwood – and maybe even teach them how to not spread terrorists on bread.
Sign now, and let’s make some sex musk for Roger!
Sources[edit | edit source ]
- HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN (11 February 2025). Denmarkification. DreamWorks.
