Showing posts with label Conscious Language. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Conscious Language. Show all posts
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Family Generational Patterns of Behavior
Do you have any generational behavior patterns that have been passed down through your family to you? I do.
I remember, as a teenager, becoming aware that my mother and grandmother had a love/anger relationship. I knew that they loved each other and I also knew that they were angry with each other. The anger was underneath everything they said to each other. The emotion was never acknowledged by either of them. The anger remained unvoiced between them and some how that unresolved emotion got passed down to my daughter and me. I never knew why they were angry with each other. I just knew it was there. Recently, I may have discovered a clue to the cause of their anger. Since neither of them is alive for me to ask them, my discovery will just have to remain an educated guess.
I had my own unresolved anger at my mother because of my incest issues. For many years, I didn't want to know that I was angry at my mom. I loved her. Daughters---good daughters---if they were angry with their parents didn't admit it. How could I be angry at the person who gave me life? How could I protect my mom emotionally and express any anger toward her? I couldn't. My assigned family role was to keep my mom from protected from feeling emotional pain. I couldn't do that if I was honest about my anger so I denied it to her and to myself.
When I got into a recovery program and counseling, my mom thought it was all because of my dad's alcoholism. She could deal with that. She got angry with me because she saw it as criticism of her choices as a woman---she married him and stayed with him---and her choices as a mother---she stayed because of us kids. She told me that she stayed with him for all of those years because of us kids. Mom died in 1999 without ever acknowledging that she was angry with me for bringing things out into the open.
Several times over the past years, I have realized that the cycle of mother/daughter anger has been passed down to my daughter and me. My daughter and I have had several discussions about the anger that suddenly flares up between us.
I wrote briefly about my anger that would flare up whenever my daughter would get pregnant. You can read about that in my very first article called Three Of My Past Life Experiences found at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/06/three-of-my-past-life-experiences.html . My daughter and I have talked about it and we both now know where my unexplained, very intense anger came from. With my daughter's last pregnancy, I was at peace and did not experience any of the anger of the first three pregnancies. For me, discovering and acknowledging the source of the anger dissolved it.
Recently, in the Language of Mastery class that I took, I found what I believe is generational anger. Now, without my mother or grandmother alive to ask, this is only an assumption on my part. In the class, we had a writing exercise to do. I chose the relationship with my daughter as one of my topics to write about and discovered an "ah-ha" moment.
In writing, I realized that I sometimes feel jealous of the relationship between my husband and daughter. They love each other, as they should. That was part of the problem.
As I was deciding to write this earlier, I got another piece of the puzzle. My jealousy comes from the fact that I didn't have this kind of relationship with my dad. I always missed that healthy form of love from my dad. Father-daughter relationships are different than mother-daughter relationships. Because I never had that kind of love from my dad, I resented the love between my husband and daughter. I found another shadow part of myself for me to connect with.
How could this be a generational pattern? From the stories that I heard from my mom, I know that she and her dad were very close. My mom was the youngest of eight children. The closest to her in age was a 10 year old sister. My grandmother was in her 30's when mom was born and my grandfather was in his 50's. From what my mom said, she adored her dad and he adored her. In looking at my feelings of jealousy, I wonder if a similar feeling of jealousy was possibly behind my grandmother's anger at my mom? I can't ask either of them. I do believe this is a strong possiblity.
So here comes the conscious language:
I choose to release my feelings of jealousy and love my daughter unconditionally.
I love my daughter.
I am grateful for the loving relationship between my husband and daughter. Their relationship is healthy.
I choose to have a healthy, loving relationship with my daughter.
I release my feelings of loss with my relationship with my dad.
I love my dad.
I love my husband.
I love myself.
I love all the different parts of myself. I am whole and free of the past.
I choose to release any anger passed down to me from my mother and/or grandmother.
I love my mother.
I love my grandmother.
I replace jealousy and anger with love and joy.
I am love.
I choose to release generational patterns in any and all forms.
I embrace my shadow self and reconnect with that shadow self with love and forgiveness.
I connect with I Am That I Am.
I am whole.
I choose to feel all of my emotions. I choose to search out the source of all intense emotions and release them from my body.
I remember, as a teenager, becoming aware that my mother and grandmother had a love/anger relationship. I knew that they loved each other and I also knew that they were angry with each other. The anger was underneath everything they said to each other. The emotion was never acknowledged by either of them. The anger remained unvoiced between them and some how that unresolved emotion got passed down to my daughter and me. I never knew why they were angry with each other. I just knew it was there. Recently, I may have discovered a clue to the cause of their anger. Since neither of them is alive for me to ask them, my discovery will just have to remain an educated guess.
I had my own unresolved anger at my mother because of my incest issues. For many years, I didn't want to know that I was angry at my mom. I loved her. Daughters---good daughters---if they were angry with their parents didn't admit it. How could I be angry at the person who gave me life? How could I protect my mom emotionally and express any anger toward her? I couldn't. My assigned family role was to keep my mom from protected from feeling emotional pain. I couldn't do that if I was honest about my anger so I denied it to her and to myself.
When I got into a recovery program and counseling, my mom thought it was all because of my dad's alcoholism. She could deal with that. She got angry with me because she saw it as criticism of her choices as a woman---she married him and stayed with him---and her choices as a mother---she stayed because of us kids. She told me that she stayed with him for all of those years because of us kids. Mom died in 1999 without ever acknowledging that she was angry with me for bringing things out into the open.
Several times over the past years, I have realized that the cycle of mother/daughter anger has been passed down to my daughter and me. My daughter and I have had several discussions about the anger that suddenly flares up between us.
I wrote briefly about my anger that would flare up whenever my daughter would get pregnant. You can read about that in my very first article called Three Of My Past Life Experiences found at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/06/three-of-my-past-life-experiences.html . My daughter and I have talked about it and we both now know where my unexplained, very intense anger came from. With my daughter's last pregnancy, I was at peace and did not experience any of the anger of the first three pregnancies. For me, discovering and acknowledging the source of the anger dissolved it.
Recently, in the Language of Mastery class that I took, I found what I believe is generational anger. Now, without my mother or grandmother alive to ask, this is only an assumption on my part. In the class, we had a writing exercise to do. I chose the relationship with my daughter as one of my topics to write about and discovered an "ah-ha" moment.
In writing, I realized that I sometimes feel jealous of the relationship between my husband and daughter. They love each other, as they should. That was part of the problem.
As I was deciding to write this earlier, I got another piece of the puzzle. My jealousy comes from the fact that I didn't have this kind of relationship with my dad. I always missed that healthy form of love from my dad. Father-daughter relationships are different than mother-daughter relationships. Because I never had that kind of love from my dad, I resented the love between my husband and daughter. I found another shadow part of myself for me to connect with.
How could this be a generational pattern? From the stories that I heard from my mom, I know that she and her dad were very close. My mom was the youngest of eight children. The closest to her in age was a 10 year old sister. My grandmother was in her 30's when mom was born and my grandfather was in his 50's. From what my mom said, she adored her dad and he adored her. In looking at my feelings of jealousy, I wonder if a similar feeling of jealousy was possibly behind my grandmother's anger at my mom? I can't ask either of them. I do believe this is a strong possiblity.
So here comes the conscious language:
I choose to release my feelings of jealousy and love my daughter unconditionally.
I love my daughter.
I am grateful for the loving relationship between my husband and daughter. Their relationship is healthy.
I choose to have a healthy, loving relationship with my daughter.
I release my feelings of loss with my relationship with my dad.
I love my dad.
I love my husband.
I love myself.
I love all the different parts of myself. I am whole and free of the past.
I choose to release any anger passed down to me from my mother and/or grandmother.
I love my mother.
I love my grandmother.
I replace jealousy and anger with love and joy.
I am love.
I choose to release generational patterns in any and all forms.
I embrace my shadow self and reconnect with that shadow self with love and forgiveness.
I connect with I Am That I Am.
I am whole.
I choose to feel all of my emotions. I choose to search out the source of all intense emotions and release them from my body.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Language Of Mastery
http://www.masterysystems.com/
I recently took a one day workshop called Language of Mastery. The instructor, Coleman Kelly, has given his permission for me to supply his email address to any of my readers who may have questions or who may be interested in setting up a Language of Mastery workshop in your area. Coleman does travel to do workshops.
The email for Coleman Kelly is bowlcole@hotmail.com .
Here is an example of what I learned in the workshop about changing my choice of thoughts and words.
Original thought:
I don't seem to be manifesting what I want in my life.
(Want equals lack. I discussed this in my first article on Conscious Language which you will find at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/10/conscious-language-using-the-law-of.html .)
Better choice:
I am manifesting my abundance. I am rich.
(Manifesting---any "ing" word---is in the future. You want to manifest in the present.)
Best choices:
I manifest my abundance. I am rich.
I express the abundance that I know I am.
One very important activity that I sometimes forget to do (Change that to: I choose to do) is to breathe. Holding your breath holds you back. (Change that to: To move forward, I choose to breathe.
Even better: To move forward, I breathe.)
Another thing that I learned in the workshop is that eating a lot of sugar is usually a sign of a person who is avoiding grief. The same is true for a person with a blood sugar problem such as diabetes. You feel like the sweetness of life is gone. Coleman told us that suppressed grief is waiting to be transmuted into joy.
Using the above information, here is the process that I went through in the class. The words in italics are the thoughts of the wounded little girl that still lives inside of me.
1. Eating too much sugar, having a blood sugar problem
Are you avoiding grief?
Yes
2. Grief about what?
Incest
Love
People don't love me. They use me. They abuse me.
At this point, I was crying. Tears are a sign that says this is a core issue.
3. (New thought) I choose to feel with ease.
Avoiding grief means not feeling the grief and the underlying pain. I personally stuff feelings down with food. Others may use alcohol, drugs, smoking, excessive exercise, sex, etc.
I choose to feel with ease gives me permission to access the feelings. Feeling emotions allows me to release them.
4. (New thought) I choose to feel my connection to myself---to my body.
As an incest survivor, I disconnected from my feelings and my body years ago. In order to heal, I choose to feel my connection to myself and to my body.
5. (New thought) I choose to love myself.
As an incest survivor, for years I hated myself. I didn't think that I was lovable.
6. (New thoughts)
I love myself.
I love my body.
I feel.
I am lovable.
I am love.
I love.
At the beginning of the above process, I felt grief, hurt and sadness.
At the end of the process, I felt a release of the grief and a return to joy. I felt love for myself.
Some other conscious language statements to use:
1. I am Light and Love. (Light and love leave no room for grief or sadness.)
2. I am connected to the Source of All that is.
3. I am connected to my Higher Self.
4. I choose to understand. I really choose to understand.
This article is my interpretation of what I have learned so far about the use of Conscious Language. My ideas of how it works will probably change as I learn more. What I have shared is my understanding of how the process works. Remember that I am just beginning to learn how to do this.
I choose to learn more. I grow as I learn. My understanding changes as I grow. For more information, contact Coleman Kelly or go to the website listed at the beginning of the article.
I recently took a one day workshop called Language of Mastery. The instructor, Coleman Kelly, has given his permission for me to supply his email address to any of my readers who may have questions or who may be interested in setting up a Language of Mastery workshop in your area. Coleman does travel to do workshops.
The email for Coleman Kelly is bowlcole@hotmail.com .
Here is an example of what I learned in the workshop about changing my choice of thoughts and words.
Original thought:
I don't seem to be manifesting what I want in my life.
(Want equals lack. I discussed this in my first article on Conscious Language which you will find at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/10/conscious-language-using-the-law-of.html .)
Better choice:
I am manifesting my abundance. I am rich.
(Manifesting---any "ing" word---is in the future. You want to manifest in the present.)
Best choices:
I manifest my abundance. I am rich.
I express the abundance that I know I am.
One very important activity that I sometimes forget to do (Change that to: I choose to do) is to breathe. Holding your breath holds you back. (Change that to: To move forward, I choose to breathe.
Even better: To move forward, I breathe.)
Another thing that I learned in the workshop is that eating a lot of sugar is usually a sign of a person who is avoiding grief. The same is true for a person with a blood sugar problem such as diabetes. You feel like the sweetness of life is gone. Coleman told us that suppressed grief is waiting to be transmuted into joy.
Using the above information, here is the process that I went through in the class. The words in italics are the thoughts of the wounded little girl that still lives inside of me.
1. Eating too much sugar, having a blood sugar problem
Are you avoiding grief?
Yes
2. Grief about what?
Incest
Love
People don't love me. They use me. They abuse me.
At this point, I was crying. Tears are a sign that says this is a core issue.
3. (New thought) I choose to feel with ease.
Avoiding grief means not feeling the grief and the underlying pain. I personally stuff feelings down with food. Others may use alcohol, drugs, smoking, excessive exercise, sex, etc.
I choose to feel with ease gives me permission to access the feelings. Feeling emotions allows me to release them.
4. (New thought) I choose to feel my connection to myself---to my body.
As an incest survivor, I disconnected from my feelings and my body years ago. In order to heal, I choose to feel my connection to myself and to my body.
5. (New thought) I choose to love myself.
As an incest survivor, for years I hated myself. I didn't think that I was lovable.
6. (New thoughts)
I love myself.
I love my body.
I feel.
I am lovable.
I am love.
I love.
At the beginning of the above process, I felt grief, hurt and sadness.
At the end of the process, I felt a release of the grief and a return to joy. I felt love for myself.
Some other conscious language statements to use:
1. I am Light and Love. (Light and love leave no room for grief or sadness.)
2. I am connected to the Source of All that is.
3. I am connected to my Higher Self.
4. I choose to understand. I really choose to understand.
This article is my interpretation of what I have learned so far about the use of Conscious Language. My ideas of how it works will probably change as I learn more. What I have shared is my understanding of how the process works. Remember that I am just beginning to learn how to do this.
I choose to learn more. I grow as I learn. My understanding changes as I grow. For more information, contact Coleman Kelly or go to the website listed at the beginning of the article.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Conscious Language---Using The Law Of Attraction More Effectively
The following article was written after I watched a video from the following website:
http://www.masterysystems.com/
The Law of Attraction is really about watching our choice of thoughts and words. Conscious Language from MasterySystems.com is a great way to do this. Their founder says that sometimes all it takes is the shift of a few words to change your whole world.
Did you know that each time you say, "I want" or "I need" that you are focusing on lack? When you say "I want", you are in effect saying "I don't have this." "I need" works the same way by saying, "This is not in my life." Lack! Lack! Lack! Is more lack what you want (Change that last word to 'choose'.) to create?
Instead of "I want" or "I need" substitute the following choice of words.
I have. . .
My choice is. . .
My outcome is. . .
My choice of outcome is. . .
I can. . .
The best positive reinforcement for Conscious Language statements is any statement that starts with the words, "I AM." "I AM THAT I AM." is one of the most powerful statements that you can say to connect yourself to the Source of All That Is.
Never use "I Am" with words that you don't want to create. A better Conscious Language way of saying this statement in a positive manner would be, "Use I Am statements for manifestation of the results that you choose to have happen in your life."
Start to use and make statements with the following words and see what changes can happen in your life.
I can. . .
I am. . .
I will. . .
I will it so. . .
I have. . .
I love. . .
I create. . .
I enjoy. . .
Make these statements with feeling and watch how quickly that your heart's desire will manifest in your life. Have a glorious day.
http://www.masterysystems.com/
The Law of Attraction is really about watching our choice of thoughts and words. Conscious Language from MasterySystems.com is a great way to do this. Their founder says that sometimes all it takes is the shift of a few words to change your whole world.
Did you know that each time you say, "I want" or "I need" that you are focusing on lack? When you say "I want", you are in effect saying "I don't have this." "I need" works the same way by saying, "This is not in my life." Lack! Lack! Lack! Is more lack what you want (Change that last word to 'choose'.) to create?
Instead of "I want" or "I need" substitute the following choice of words.
I have. . .
My choice is. . .
My outcome is. . .
My choice of outcome is. . .
I can. . .
The best positive reinforcement for Conscious Language statements is any statement that starts with the words, "I AM." "I AM THAT I AM." is one of the most powerful statements that you can say to connect yourself to the Source of All That Is.
Never use "I Am" with words that you don't want to create. A better Conscious Language way of saying this statement in a positive manner would be, "Use I Am statements for manifestation of the results that you choose to have happen in your life."
Start to use and make statements with the following words and see what changes can happen in your life.
I can. . .
I am. . .
I will. . .
I will it so. . .
I have. . .
I love. . .
I create. . .
I enjoy. . .
Make these statements with feeling and watch how quickly that your heart's desire will manifest in your life. Have a glorious day.
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