DOVBEAR

A guest post by JS:

There is a tremendous pressure in the shidduch world to make oneself and one's family appear to be perfect. The slightest flaw may torpedo a potential shidduch before the guy and girl have even learned each other's names. The degree of subterfuge one the one hand and espionage on the other that is found in the shidduch system would make for a good Hollywood spy movie.

But, of course, no one is perfect and this fact is compounded when you consider the many relatives in one's family that a person "marries" as well.

However, the largest problem with the shidduch system isn't the vetting that goes on, per se, it's when that vetting occurs. Imagine if, upon meeting a person, someone were to list all of his/her problems and all of his/her family's problems. That other person would likely be insane to agree to a date, let alone marriage.

For example, imagine if a person produced a list that said: "I get angry at times for seemingly no reason, I'm very grumpy in the morning, I don't like to socialize over Shabbat; I prefer to sleep, my father has high cholesterol, my mother's mother had a bout with breast cancer, my brother is still "finding himself," money is tight in my family, I go to minyan but often space out, and I saw a psychiatrist in the past when I felt depressed during college."

That list is daunting! But, the problem isn't the list. The problem isn't even the vetting that would lead to learning of such a list. The problem is that the list is weighed against nothing - that the person behind the list is anonymous and faceless. However, when the list is sized up against this wonderful person you know and love, it becomes just a fact of life - an issue to be dealt with like all other issues in life. If you knew the person really well and deeply cared for that person, not only would the list not be off-putting, you would come to see the list as things that make the person unique - things that make the person who they are. After all, as mentioned above, everyone's got "issues" and loving a person involves loving that person, issues and all.

Of course, the rationale given for vetting before meeting is that it is important to get this background stuff out of the way up front to ensure that the dating process is short. Let others handle whether there are "issues" and let the potential couple focus (quickly) on whether they like each other enough to marry. And the rationale (or at least one of them) for why dating must be so short is the fear of a lapse of the laws negiah (i.e. dating couples will "fool around").

Tesyaa recently wrote:

I would prefer my children violate negia out of a lack of self-control rather than marry someone they shouldn't because they were rushed in their dating. And anyway, even the couples who get engaged and married quickly are often violating negia.

I agree 100%. Overall, I think the greater moral wrong lies with marrying off incompatible people than two people violating negiah. There is always teshuva for violating negiah. But, what is the repentance for two incompatible people who marry? Divorce? The stigma that follows divorce? Potentially remaining single due to the stigma? Or if they don't separate, a lifetime of regret and sadness? Children with parents who don't love each other? I don't see how you can weigh that against two people who fool around for a few days/weeks before marrying or moving on.

As for Tesyaa's latter point, I know this isn't dispositive of anything, but I know way too many stories of seemingly very frum couples who I would never dream would violate negiah, violating it in ways a person like me didn't even think were possible.

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Search for more information about shidduchim at 4torah.com.

A guest post (after a really long break) by JS:

There's an old joke that anyone driving slower than you is an imbecile while anyone driving faster than you is a maniac. Seems like religion works the same way. Anyone who is less observant than you is godless while anyone more observant than you is crazy.

This creeps up in some obvious ways. For example, an Orthodox person may observe that someone drives to shul on Shabbat drawing the inevitable remark, "It's amazing the person even knows what Shabbat is." Or perhaps the Orthodox person may see a Chabad volunteer helping someone bench lulav and thinks, "You could give that person a lemon instead of an etrog and they wouldn't know the difference." Or a Modern Orthodox person may see an ultra-Orthodox woman with 9 children in tow and remark, "Haven't these people heard of birth control?" Or maybe a Modern Orthodox person passes a Chareidi man in full garb and wonders, "Hasn't he heard it's the 21st century?"

Of course it creeps up in some not so obvious ways, often when the distinctions between groups are more subtle - thus making it more important to point out. For example, "Why can't they just eat regular cheese like the rest of us? Haven't they heard Rav Moshe's psak on chalav yisroel?" Or "We watch movies and TV shows on our laptop, we're not like the chareidim who don't watch TV at all!"

And like the car example above, inevitably you are either "godless" or "crazy" to someone else, which just seems preposterous - you're an excellent driver! Your religious observances are perfectly reasonable and make eminent sense! How dare the Conservative person stare at you flabbergasted when you tell him or her that you only dated your wife for 6 months before getting engaged! You're not like those nuts who only date for 3-4 weeks. And they mock the fact that you withhold from any touching during niddah?! Niddah is beautiful! It's not like you keep all the harchakot like those loonies - you pass the salt directly to your spouse! And how dare that person look down their nose at you that you're not really koveah itim! You learn on the subway to work and go to a shiur twice a week - not like those people who call it a "talmud" if they even know what that is! And what nerve that they look disdainfully at your colorful outfits! It's not like you dress like a slut like those Jewish kids in public school!

Search for more information about religious (in)sanity at 4torah.com.

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A guest post by JS:

Here's a little snapshot of what the CIA was like under Bush.

It seems that the CIA hired private contractor Blackwater (yes, the same Blackwater responsible for killing Iraqi civilians) to hunt down and kill Al Qaeda operatives. At least that what we think. You see the whole program was kept hush hush and Congress wasn't even informed about it until current CIA director Panetta was finally told about it, shut it down, and, correctly, finally told Congress about what the hell has been going on behind their backs. Seems there were never even contracts for this project, just an "understanding."

In another telling portion of the story, everyone's wondering whether Cheney ordered the program - not surprisingly, no one is asking whether Bush even knew about it.

And, of course, the GOP is screaming partisanship.

All in all, I find it frightening if no other reason than the CIA feels it doesn't have the resources to handle this (or interrogations - another thing recently shut down) themselves.

Search for more information about Covert Ops at 4torah.com.

A guest post by JS:

If this doesn't make you proud to be an American, nothing will.

[埋込みオブジェクト:http://www.collegehumor.com/moogaloop/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1918937&fullscreen=1]

Search for more information about pride at 4torah.com.

A guest post by JS:

You can all breathe easy, at least if you live in Israel, the swine flu pandemic is over. A group of courageous rabbis have flown over the country, blown the shofar, and said some prayers. Skeptical? Don't be. As one of the rabbis involved said, "We are certain that, thanks to the prayer, the danger is already behind us." Read more about it here.

It's a shame this wasn't done earlier as there are over 2,000 confirmed cases of swine flu in Israel and I believe 5 people have already died. I also wonder if those who have the disease have been suddenly cured by this ritual. Someone should check up on that.

What bothers me the most about this, is that so much of religion is already hanging by a thread to any semblance of rationality. Do you really need to do something like this and make me wonder if everything else I do is in the same category? How am I supposed to differentiate flying in a plane, blowing a shofar, and saying a prayer to stave off disease from sitting in a shul, blowing a shofar, and saying some prayers to stave off punishment for sins?

Flicking blood onto altars and tapestries? Swinging a chicken/money over your head? Sitting in a hut? Waving a bunch of branches and a lemon?

Is there anything that makes these people crazy and a "normal" religious person sane?

Search for more information about mystical cures at 4torah.com.

A guest post by JS:

This post has been percolating for a while in my brain, but a particularly annoying shiur this Shabbos brought it to the forefront.

It seems without fail that the longer a person spends in Yeshiva or Kollel the more inept they become at giving a speech/shiur to normal, able-minded adults. Click here to read more I don't think they all take some course or read a book entitled "How to tick off friends and alienate people," but invariably at every single shiur I attend - especially if the speaker is back home for "bein ha'zmanim" and eager to show others what he's learned - I feel like ripping my hair out.

So, for the betterment of yeshiva guys and kollelniks who give speeches and for the benefit of those stuck listening to them, I've identified several highly annoying traits that simply must stop now:

1) Stop saying "chas v'shalom" every time you mention something even remotely bad. You don't need to say "If a person should stub his toe, chas v'shalom" or "If a pen should run out of ink chas v'shalom." It's really not a tragedy. Reserve it for death or serious bodily injury or financial loss, OK? God is really busy and He doesn't have time to prevent this nonsense.

2) Not every single story ever recounted in a gemara or said by a rabbi is "famous." I don't want to ever hear again "There's a famous story in Bava Basra" or "There's a famous story about the Kotzker Rav."

3) Repeating the same point over and over again and using different synonyms each time you tell it doesn't make the point any stronger, more brilliant, or more true. "Hashem created each person to be unique...The Ribbono Shel Olam was boyrei each human being as an individual...The Abisheter, in His wisdom, made each of us to be one of a kind."

4) In the same vein, supporting your point with 50 different rabbinical statements doesn't make your point any stronger, more brilliant, or more true. Saying the gemara says X, and the Chazon ish says X, and Rav Kook says X, and Rav Feinstein says X, and the Shem M'Shmuel says X doesn't tell me anything. It's especially annoying as everyone knows our tradition is built on people quoting each other and recycling old ideas. It's not surprising or enlightening or awe-inspiring that so many rabbis say the same thing - it's to be expected.

5) And again, related to #3 and #4 - don't give a shiur on something that is brain-dead obvious!!! I don't need a shiur on how every person is unique or how it's important to not be superficial. But, PLEASE, if you really have nothing interesting to talk about and must resort to the mind-numbingly obvious, at least don't do #3 and #4 also!!!

6) Don't say in 50 minutes, what could be said in less than 5.

7) Unless your point is solely based in the minutae of halacha and especially if your point is instead philosophical or something that applies universally, chances are the rabbi you're quoting is ripping off a secular, non-Jewish text or the point was made better and more eloquently by a non-Jew. The fact that you don't realize this, shun the secular, and think your rabbi said it first and best is highly annoying.

8) 99% of the time when giving a shiur, it's really unnecessary to refer to the "goyim." It labels you as a bigot, especially when you refer to goyim in an attempt to show how open-minded you are - "I have a really nice neighbor who's a goy..."

9) You're not an expert in science, math, law, architecture, philosophy, history or really anything other than the section of gemara you heard from your rebbe who also wasn't an expert in any of these fields. Don't tell me "Science says..." or "It's well known that Napolean..." - you're wrong and you're insulting my intelligence.

10) Speaking with yiddishisms, over-pronouncing words with a Yiddish accent, etc doesn't make you more frum. It makes you look ridiculous, especially when I know you from before your "transformation."

Search for more information about annoying lecturers at 4torah.com.

A guest post by JS:

I found this amazing article yesterday about evolution and felt compelled to share it. A scientist has discovered a species that is about to split into two distinct species all because of a mutation in a single gene. Very cool.

See the article here.

Search for more information about evolution at 4torah.com.

A guest post by JS:

Can someone verify whether the OU is really involved in this? I'd like to believe the answer is no, but that seems like a naive assumption nowadays.

Search for more information about the OU at 4torah.com.

A guest post by JS:

You have got to be kidding me. Chareidim are rioting in Jerusalem because a mother who starved her child has been arrested. Someone please tell me there's more to the story than what's being reported here.

Search for more information about Chareidim at 4torah.com.

A guest post by JS:

Back on DB's post about prayer, Double Harvard indicated he didn't pray because he found the entire process tedious and boring. A valid complaint and one the rabbis were clearly concerned about as is evidenced by their warning not to make one's prayer routine ("keva").

I'd like to know what single prayer do you find most inspiring, uplifting, moving, emotional, etc?

What single prayer do you find the most tedious, boring, monotonous, and dry?

In each case, what makes you feel this way? Is it the words of the prayer, a song or melody attached to it, a special significance it has taken on in your life, or maybe something else?

Search for more information about prayer at 4torah.com.

A guest post by JS on behalf of DYS:

A phenomenal article was provided by DYS yesterday about the controversy surrounding Hebrew National brand hotdogs (and other meat products). I should note that the link to the phenomenal article was posted on the equally phenomenal post I had yesterday on the 17th of Tammuz and why we fast on the 17th and not the 9th of Tammuz (and now that people's brains are clear from eating, maybe will garner some interest).

Some interesting facts from the article:
1) Hebrew National hotdogs are ranked the #1 hotdog in America;
2) Hebrew National is the largest kosher meat processor in the world;
3) An anonymous quote from a prominent Orthodox rabbi that "kashrut 'is 2 percent Halachah and 98 percent ego and money and politics'”;
4) Hebrew National is currently under "triangle K" which is Rabbi Ralbag's hechser (have to admit I was surprised by his and his sons' credentials which are listed in the article);
5) The Conservative movement approved Hebrew National for its members after Rabbi Ralbag took over in 2004;
6) Hebrew National is not glatt, however many Orthodox rabbis believe most animals labeled as glatt aren't really glatt anyways;
7) Rabbi Abadi (studied under Rav Kotler and was once exclusive poseik for Lakewood) has ruled Hebrew National is kosher for those who do not eat only glatt;
8) The push to eat only glatt in America apparently started in the 1970's - until that time the OU gave its hechsher to both glatt and non-glatt; and
9) The OU refuses to comment on other hashgachas and the "Star K" simply says it's "unreliable."

Although I brought up some points from the article, PLEASE read it. The above doesn't do it justice.

Search for more information about kosher hotdogs at 4torah.com.

A guest post by JS:

Writers are often told to "write what you know" so it is with that caveat that I admit I'm wandering into territory I'm not fully familiar with. I do so to spur conversation and bring up questions I have which I hope other people wonder about as well.

Today is the "minor fast day" of Shiva Asar B'Tammuz - The 17th of Tammuz. We fast because on this day the walls of Jerusalem were breached. It begins a 3 week period of mourning culminating in Tisha B'Av - The 9th of Av in which the Beit HaMikdash was destroyed.

However, the Mishna in Taanit (4:6) lists 5 reasons for fasting on this day:
1) Moshe broke the Ten Commandments;
2) The daily offering (Korban Tamid) ceased - there weren't enough animals during the seige of Jerusalem;
3) The walls of Jerusalem were breached;
4) An officer of Antiochus Epiphenes named Apostomos burned a Torah scroll; and
5) An idol was set up in the sanctuary.

What I find interesting is that we only focus on #3 (it seems the other 4 alone would not be important enough to warrant a fast day) as the minor fast days are collectively seen as a mini-chronology leading to the end of Jewish rule: Asara B'Tevet (siege of Jerusalem), Shiva Asar B'Tammuz (breach of the walls of Jerusalem), Tisha B'Av (destruction of the temple), and Tzom Gedaliah (end of Jewish rule).

Each of these fast days finds textual support in various books of Tanach. For example:

The siege of Jerusalem is recounted in 2 Kings 25:1-4 and Jeremiah 52:4 as occurring on the 10th day of the 10th month (10th of Tevet) and the assassination of Gedaliah is referenced in 2 Kings 25:25 and Jeremiah 41 as occurring in the 7th month (Tishrei).

However, the textual support for the 9th of Av of the 17th of Tammuz are less clear:

The destruction of the Temple is recounted in 2 Kings 25:8-9 as occurring on the 7th of 5th month (7th of Av) and in Jeremiah 52:12-13 as occurring on the 10th of the 5th month (10th of Av) . This is traditionally understood as meaning the inner sanctum of the Temple was entered on the 7th, the fire was started on the 9th, and it burned into the 10th. See Taanit 29a.

But, when were the walls breached? 2 Kings 25:3-4 and Jeremiah 52:6-7 indicate it took place on the 9th day of 4th month (9th of Tammuz). In fact, in Taanit 28b, the Babylonian Talmud expressly states that the 9th of Tammuz is when the walls of Jerusalem were breached during the First Temple period and the 17th of Tammuz is when the walls of Jerusalem were breached during the Second Temple period. So when all of the other events are so clearly related to the First Temple, why do we not fast on the 9th of Tammuz?

Interestingly, the Jerusalem Talmud in Taanit 4:4 states that our Tanach is wrong!!! The correct date is the 17th. It says there "קילקול חשבונות" - the prophet's thought process was disturbed and thus a mistake in the date was made.

Both the approach of the Babylonian Talmud and Jerusalem Talmud is odd. The former because all other fast days relate to the First Temple, the latter because they're arguing there's a significant distortion in two different places in Tanach.

More interesting is that the verses for the destruction of the temple are nearly identical except for the date, 7th versus 10th and yet no one (to the best of my knowledge) suggests "קילקול חשבונות" - the prophet's thought process was disturbed and thus a mistake in the date was made.

Search for more information about minor fast days at 4torah.com.

A guest post by JS:

As DB is fond of pointing out, "Rashi is not an anthology of midrashim." Rashi carefully selects each midrash, gemara, and rabbinical statement in order to clarify a scriptural difficulty in a manner he deems satisfactory. If Rashi cites a midrash to resolve a grammatical error, the midrash not only irons out the difficult language to Rashi's liking, it also brings forth a concept that Rashi liked or at least didn't find untenable.

For example, in Shmot 2:5, Rashi is bothered by the phrase "וַתִּשְׁלַח אֶת אֲמָתָהּ וַתִּקָּחֶהָ" (and she [Pharoah's daughter] sent forth אֲמָתָהּ and took it [the basket containing Moshe]). Rashi first explains that the word אֲמָתָהּ means "her maidservant." However, he goes on to explain (and of course this is the only explanation anyone remembers) that the word אֲמָתָהּ means "arm" and is vowelized the way it is to indicate that her arm grew long enough to reach the basket. Therefore, in my opinion, Rashi cites the gemara to deal not only with the difficult language in the verse (why is אֲמָתָהּ vowelized the way it is) but also because he either liked the concept of a miraculously growing arm to reach the miracle-producing Moshe, or he didn't have a problem with that idea.

In this parsha, there are a couple of interesting Rashis from which emerge a picture of how Rashi conceived of Hashem (or at least how he didn't think it was sacrilegious to view Hashem). Please note what I just wrote in parentheses as, for the sake of clarity, I won't be repeating this again.

In BaMidbar 20:1 on the words "And Miriam died there," Rashi states that Miriam died just like her two siblings by a kiss from God's mouth. However, the verse doesn't say so because it is not respectful to speak of God in this way (as One who kisses women). Thus, Rashi believes that God, who wrote the Torah, didn't say the manner in which Miriam died because God was concerned His honor would be diminished if He said He kissed Miriam with His mouth.

In 20:12 on the words "Therefore, you shall not bring," Rashi states that "therefore" is a form of an oath and that God hastened to swear an oath that Moshe and Aharon would not take the nation into Israel because if He hadn't, Moshe and Aharon could have "beaten Him to the punch" and interceded with prayer, which He would have had to answer. Thus, Rashi believes that God can be forced into action by human beings and has to act quicker than they to avoid being coerced.

In 21:1 on the words "Who lived in the South," Rashi states that it wasn't actually the Canaanites who attacked Israel, rather it was the Amalekites disguised as Canaanites (as it is the Amalekites who lived in the South, not the Canaanites). Why did the Amalekites do this? Because if the Jews prayed "Save us from the Canaanites" their prayers would be worthless. But, the Jews were clever and only prayed generally saying "Save us" and therefore their prayers worked. Thus, Rashi believes that God is so demanding and specific in his answering of prayers that He would actually refuse to answer specific (but incorrect) prayers and thus, in order to have God respond to our prayers it's best to be general and non-specific.

Search for more information about Rashi at 4torah.com.

A guest post by JS:

I've been doing a lot of thinking about the demonstrations in Iran, particularly after the infamous video of Neda being killed by Iranian Revolutionary Guards (you can see a video here, but please be advised it is graphic and disturbing).

An article today on MSNBC is a must read, in my opinion. The article focuses on other democracy movements in the Arab world, in particular in Egypt, and asks the question I've had on my mind ever since the Iranian demonstrations started: What causes some people to rise up and what causes others to be complacent?

The article offers some theories from actual activists, many of whom have been beaten, jailed, and made to suffer countless times:

1) Lack of courage;
2) No support from other countries (particularly the US);
3) Stronger, more organized, more devious police force;
4) People are used to a dictatorship;
5) Limited number of social elites who care about politics; and
6) Cultural and religious reasons.

I'm curious what people think about the article and what is going on in Iran. Why do revolutions occur? What causes some people to rise up? Why do other people remain under the thumb of oppression and/or dictatorships for so long? What was the special ingredient(s) that led to a successful democratic revolution in this country?

Under what circumstances would you be willing to give up everything and demonstrate?

Search for more information about political activism at 4torah.com.

A guest post by JS:

My wife and I don't have children yet (we've quickly learned that in the Jewish community, it's essential to say "yet" whenever referring to not having children). However, a frequent topic of conversation is yeshivas and whether or not they are worth it. The conversation has taken on more immediacy as we start to consider what community we'd like to make our home and therefore what options we would have in terms of where to send our future children.

Cost is obviously a major driver in any discussion about yeshiva. The MO yeshivas in our area currently cost around 12ドルk-15ドルk for K-8 and around 22ドルk-25ドルk for 9-12. And of course even if the stork delivered a kid tomorrow, by the time they were in Kindergarten the cost would likely be 15ドルk-18ドルk and 9th grade would likely be 35ドルk-40ドルk. That alone is staggering and should give one pause. But, I'd like to focus more on what exactly does one get out of yeshiva education.

I went to an MO yeshiva K-12 and never went to yeshiva in Israel. As I understand it, the year in Israel is critical as that's where you REALLY learn (What exactly were K-12 for then? practice?). Now, more than 10 years out of high school I couldn't tell you a single rashi, midrash, vort, inyan, sugya, etc. that I learned in all my years of yeshiva education. Anything I now know is from my own personal learning that I did after yeshiva. I also don't really believe my "love of learning" (and granted, it's not all that big) came from yeshiva either. I enjoyed Judaic studies and was in the advanced tracks, but that's more because I'm a curious person, I enjoy learning almost any subject, and Judaic studies was in the home. It also helps that I enjoy debating and logical and critical thinking. But in actual yeshiva? Except for a few teachers, I was pretty bored. I didn't find many of my rabbeim that interesting, that intelligent, or that inspiring. Many were recent YU grads who merely went over shiurs they learned 1-2 years prior. I found that most of my questions couldn't be answered and were met with a "good kashya!"

Another thing is that I never learned how to learn in yeshiva. I was never given the proper tools. This is certainly true in the Hebrew/Aramaic department. It's only because of hearing Hebrew at home that I can even pick up a siddur or chumash and understand what I'm reading. And despite this I am reliant on English translations to get through difficult sections. My wife went K-12 at a MO yeshiva and she can't even do that. Her Hebrew is so poor she is totally reliant on Artscroll. Most grads of MO yeshivas fall into this category. The kids who get up to do Anim Zemirot or Ein K'Elokeinu who are the proud recipients of a yeshiva education can hardly pronounce a single word correctly, have no idea what they're saying, and zip through ketoret, etc faster than I can say more than 5-6 lines.

Then you have DB's post below about the shallowness of a yeshiva education. I think through about 5th grade and maybe a bit longer, my Jewish education consisted nearly entirely of arts and crafts projects, cute midrash stories like how Rivka was 3, and a rashi here and there. And of course, we never returned to re-learn Breishit or any of the other "story" parts of Torah. We never even learned all of Chumash - VaYikra was nearly entirely passed over as was most of D'varim. And we maybe made it through half of Neviim and hardly any of Ketuvim. As for gemara, we made it through 20-25 daf each year in a random masechet. We never learned any practical halacha either. And we only had a short half-year, once a week class in Jewish philosophy, which was a complete joke and treated all major philosophical issues in Judaism as "obvious" and that these aren't major concerns, but if they are simplistic answers should suffice. I hate to return to the cost issue and I know it's not all about quantity, but seriously, shouldn't you get a bit more for your money here?

Finally, there is so much hashkafically that I was taught in yeshiva that I simply don't agree with. This ranges from secular hashkafa relating to politics and how to interact with the outside world to Jewish hashkafa. When I was a teen and completely obnoxious and thought I was right about everything, the yeshiva took advantage of this to force hashkafic arguments at home. Every Shabbos without fail the meal would denigrate into a heated debate about how my parents were wrong about everything and weren't properly adhering to Jewish values, halachas, and ideals. The yeshivas pitted me against my parents as what they taught wasn't what we did at home. Another major problem is the outright racism and xenophobia explicitly taught in yeshivas both subtly and not so subtly. We were taught we're superior to everyone else, other religions are lies and their practitioners are just stupid and will see the light when mashiach comes, other races do drugs and commit crimes. We were taught to fear the outside world and to stay as close to other Jews as possible - to go to Jewish colleges or at least to stay on Jewish floors. We were told not to trust ourselves since the outside world is full of temptations and we would surely succumb without a constant Torah environment. Yet of course, at the same time, the yeshivas ignored the fact that drugs and alcohol were serious problems. And they of course ignored how the students had little to no derech eretz, would run around the shul/school like vilda chayas causing property damage, and cause chillul Hashems on class trips. I recently asked a girl who attends a MO yeshiva which has a new building how the new facilities are and she responded, "It was nice when we first moved in, but they already need to fix it up since everyone wrote on all the desks and some kids kicked holes in the walls, etc."

So, this is the background with which we consider the yeshiva question. I'd like to know what people think of the above - do you agree or disagree? Do you buy into the argument that if a child didn't go to yeshiva there's simply no way they will ever remain frum? Do you think there's absolutely no way to provide a Jewish education outside of a yeshiva? Does the family count for nothing? If a family provides a frum, Jewish home which demonstrates a love for Yiddishkeit and if the parents learn with their children or hire a rabbi to learn with them this is still not nearly as good as a yeshiva? Most importantly (for me): Is there any hope for a LW MO couple like my wife and me?

Search for more information about the pros/cons of yeshiva at 4torah.com.

A guest post by JS:

In what can only be a sign of incredible boredom by our national news agencies, the BIG STORY is that Barack Obama swatted a fly during an interview with CNBC. See the video here. Obviously, what's going on in Iran, for example, is not as interesting or important.

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has called Barack Obama out for his inhumane treatment of the fly. See the article here. The PETA spokesperson said "We support compassion even for the most curious, smallest and least sympathetic animals."

So what do you think? Should PETA be commended for their consistency - after all, wouldn't they be hypocrites if they said swatting a fly was OK? Is one animal life more valuable than another? Should PETA have kept their mouths shut as one is likely to dismiss them as ridiculous and thereby not listen to their broader agenda about cruelty to other animals?

Also, how would tza'ar ba'alei chayim (not inflicting pain/suffering on animals) fit in here? One of the cited purposes for the mitzvah is that being cruel to an animal makes us cruel to other human beings. Does mercilessly killing a fly instead of trapping it and releasing it influence how we treat others? Wouldn't a merciful person treat all of God's creations with mercy?

Search for more information about animal cruelty at 4torah.com.

A guest post by JS:

In honor of the upcoming 65th anniversary of the storming of Normandy, an interesting article.

Search for more information about D-Day at 4torah.com.

A guest post by JS:

TO had an interesting post about the limitations on women in the Orthodox world.

In the comments of that post, many comments indicated either that women didn't have it so bad after all or that, if anything, women got the better end of the deal. As a brief example, in terms of tznius, Gabe wrote tznius applies to all, it's just the details that are different, Mar Gavriel wrote he never uncovers his arms and legs and wears a wool jacket and a hat, and Yoni noted that men have to wear so many layers he wished he could wear lighter clothing like women can. Other comments indicated it's a huge pain to be a man and have to have the burden of all of the mitzvot - such as running to shul in bad weather, waking up early for minyan, having to learn, etc. And, of course, continuing from Rabbi Fink's post some pointed out how the Bar Mitzvah experience is terrible and how girls felt lucky to not have to endure it.

So, who's got the better deal in Orthodoxy? How many men would like the chance to swap with their wives? Any volunteers?

I care more about swapping in terms of obligations and rights in Orthodoxy, but let the comments go where they may.

Search for more information about women in Orthodoxy at 4torah.com.

A guest post by JS:

Yesterday, there was a very interesting conversation about the ethical underpinnings regarding whether and how to give tzedaka to a person down on his luck who wishes to return to Canada (post here, comments here).

DB put on his Fundie hat (borrowed from Bray of course; they're the same hat size) and took a hardline, halachic approach to the problem essentially stating that by giving Tzedaka we are God's agents and it is not for us to judge how the man uses (or misuses) the money - the mitzvah is in the giving, not in the helping, per se (or rather, "helping" is totally subjective and we shouldn't place our values of what "help" means over the recepient's values). Thus, according to DB, if a poor person, who used to be wealthy, wants caviar, we shouldn't deny him caviar as we are merely acting in God's stead and are answering on God's behalf. Rabbi Fink acknowledged DB was correct from a halachic perspective.

DB based himself, partly, on a story from Ketubot 67B: A man once asked Rava for charity. Rava asked him, "What do you need?" The man replied, "Well fattened chickens and old wine." Rava was shocked and exclaimed, "What a burden you put on the community!" The man answered, "But, I do I not eat the community's food as all belongs to God." Just then Rava's sister arrived with a feast of well fattened chickens and old wine. Rava again expressed shock and said, "I've wasted too much time talking; come, let's eat."

DB points out that the lesson is in the poor person's reply that all belongs to God and the community is God's agent in providing it to him. I focus, instead, on Rava's exclamation that the man is a burden on his community and if Rava's sister hadn't surreptitiously shown up with exactly what the man requested, the man would have left empty-handed, or at least not with what he requested.

Personally, I think it's presumptuous to think we should just hand over whatever a poor person wants (assuming we have it) because we're God's agent when we give tzedaka. After all, maybe God wanted him to fall to this position in life? Maybe the person was too arrogant and haughty and selfish and God wanted to teach him modesty and humbleness? Maybe by giving caviar we're thwarting God's plan.

Tzedaka is a zero-sum game. Money that goes to one person is necessarily not going to another person. Consider the following example: A community has 5 poor people. 1 used to be wealthy. The rest have always been too poor to afford wine or meat, they always lived on cheap food and lived in shabby conditions.

Can it possibly be that the community should put up the once rich person in a mansion and feed him the best of foods while the other 4 subsist on beans and rice and live in a small shack? The community shouldn't split its tzedaka money evenly among the 5? The 4 should suffer because the 5th used to be wealthy and has extravagant demands? This is a Jewish value?

How do you reconcile the halacha and our own personal sense of right and wrong? Is a drug addict or alcoholic less worthy of help than someone who became poor due to high medical expenses? Is the person who spent his money frivolously and now has nothing less worthy than someone who lost their job? And should the person who demands caviar be told to get in line with the rest of the poor at the soup kitchen?

I particularly welcome DB's comments as he said yesterday: "I'm quoting a gemarah. I can be skeptical about the Jewish position tomorrow. Today, I am merely providing the Jewish position."

Search for more information about tzedaka ethics at 4torah.com.

A guest post by JS:

A brief followup to my previous post entitled "Kashrut isn't just for what goes in your mouth" which was posted on March 24. Turns out I was a bit ahead of the curve on this issue.

At the time of the posting, a few commenters had indicated that I was making a mountain out of a molehill. Comments included arguments that I was only referring to a small vaad, Streit's business wouldn't really be hurt, we must respect trusted rabbinic authorities, better safe than sorry, a retraction was made quickly, and other inanities.

Since Pesach, it has come to my attention that the Vaad of Queens and the Vaad of the Five Towns and Far Rockaway also made public announcements that Streit's was "not approved" for Pesach. And of course, like the email I was forwarded (which was not from these Vaads) their timing was impeccable - just days before Pesach - and their reasons for the kashrut advisory were just as clear and logical - because we said so.

See an article on this here at the Jewish Star published April 10; be sure to read the whole thing. Prepare to be incensed and wonder how these people ever wound up in a position of authority, let alone one that affects thousands of Jews. Also be prepared to wonder aloud just how kosher anything we eat really is given the imbeciles in charge and their complete lack of yashrut.

I'd love to hear back from all the commenters who complained about my previous post - I hear these same rabbinic authorities have recently announced that crow is now kosher and may be eaten freely. I apologize in advance for the snarkiness of this post, but, in case you can't tell, this really bothers me and I think it should bother all of us.