User:Lars Gunblade
| The No Talent Ass Clowns | |
|---|---|
| Genre(s) | Rock |
| Label(s) | No, Not There! Records |
| Members | Lars Gunblade (singer), Vas Defrens (guitar), Carnage Smith (bass), Joey Van Dundro (drums) |
| Former Members | Vulgar Smith (1995) |
| Discography | Behind the Times (1995) Pucker Factor (1997) Live at Consumption Auditorium (2001) Say Hello To My Posterior (2010) Ass On Demand (2011) Express Elevator to Hell (2012) Brain Dump (2013) |
"Everyone enjoys being exploited and objectified. I know I do."
~ Lars Gunblade
"I love being famous. Being ordinary is what sucks"
~ Vas Defrens
"I just play bass. The songs take two minutes to learn and there’s lots of chicks. I’m good."
~ Carnage Smith
"Someday I want to drum as good as the Beatles’ original drummer Pete Best."
~ Joe Van Dundro
The No Talent Ass Clowns is the greatest American Heavy Metal band on earth, according to the band. Formed in Kings Nose, New Jersey in the mid-1990s, The No Talent Ass Clowns have rocked their way across the world with such hits as "Blow Chunks Ballet," a song that has become a favorite at some college drinking parties. Over the years, front man Lars Gunblade has tased fans, incited fan violence, demanded fan concertgoers attend topless and is rumored to have killed the band's original drummer Vulgar Smith.
The band's musical direction is largely dictated by guitarist Vas Defrens, known for his distinct ass fetish. Nearly all of The No Talent Ass Clowns' albums are heavily influenced by ass-related songs. Defrens, who lives on a sprawling estate named Rectal Hall in Montana, denies that he is assessed with asses, even though he has built an art gallery called "The Avenue of Ass" at his Rectal Hall home.
Since the Beatles only performed for 30 minutes, The No Talent Ass Clowns decided that their shows would last only 15 minutes. "They get a taste of the Ass Clowns," says front man Lars Gunblade. "That way we still have plenty of energy backstage for the groupies."