Caffeine

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Caffeineisachemical whichmakesyourreallyhyperandexitedandgivesyoulotsofenergy andstuff.itisthenectarofthegods. Itsfoundincoffee andchocolateandbawlsandenergydrinks. Idrinkthosethingsallthetimeanditmakesmefeelreallyhyperandexcitedandstuff.

PeoplesayIhavetoomuchcaffeinebutthey'retotallywrong;Ionlydrinklikefifteencupsofcoffeeadayforcristssake. ThatsnotalotyouknowwhatImean?

CaffeineisfoundinallsortsofplacesitsincoffeewhichIdrinkalotandinchocolateandFooshmintsandcoffee. IreallylikedrinkingcoffeeittastesgoodanditgivesmeabuzzanditkeepsmefromfallingasleepwhenIminthemiddleofsomething. OnetimeIdrankfiftysixcupsofcoffeeandeverythingwasmovingreallyslowlylikeIwasinTheMatrix. CaffeineisalsofoundincaffeinepillswhicharepillsofpurecaffeinethosereallygiveyouaboostIdonteventakethemoneatatimeItake themonebottleatatimewheneverImfeelingnormal Ijustpopdownafewcasesofcaffeinepillsanditgoesaway.

Somepeopleliketheircoffeewithmilkand sugarIlikethesugarsometimesbutthemilkjusttakesuproomthat couldbefilledwithextracaffeine. Ilikeeatingdoughnutstoowithmycoffeedoughnutsarereallygoodwithcoffeeyoucandunkthemandeatthemthenhavemorecoffeeand moredoughnuts. roflroflroflroflroflroflrofln00bFooshmintsarethesemintsthathavecaffeineinthemtheyaregoodbecausetheyhavethesameamountofcaffeineasacupof coffeebuttheymakeyourbreathsmellniceunlikecoffeewhichmakesitsmellbadmybreathsmellsbadfromcoffeealotbecauseIdrinkmorethan mostpeoplebutthenIjusttakesomeFooshmintsandmybreathsmellsniceagain.

Caffeineismadeofamixtureofcalcium flouride iron iodideand neon

Caffeineisusedtokeepyouupandkeepyoufrom fallingasleepitcertainlyworksformeInevergotosleepIhaven'tsleptforlikethreeyearsit'stooboring you justlaythereanddonothingyouknowwhatImean?Istarteddrinkinglotsoofcoffeeincollegebecauseineededtostayuplate tofinishhomeworkbutitwaskindahardtoreadbecausethewordskeptmovingalloverthepageitwasreallyannoyingIthoughtitwas becauseIwasgettingtiredsoIhadmore caffeineandIpassedoutthenwhenIwokeupmyroommatewasalllike "Dudeyoudrankwaytoomuchcoffee."onlyhesaiditreallyslowlylike "Dude, you drank way too much coffee."

CaffeineisalsousefulAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!! whenyou'replayinggamesbecauseyoucanbereallyalertand fastandyouplaybetterespeciallybecauseyou'reprobablyplayingatnightwhenmostpeopleareasleepsoyouhavetohave calmingeffectsofcaffeinearesmonsterifficwiththecaffeieneatingkittenswhilehuffingtheoneswithorangecoatsmakinggocrazylikethecaffeinewiththecaffeinetostayawakethismakesitreallypopularamonggamerswhoconsumeitinlargeammountsbuttheydefinitelydon'tuseitasmuchasIdo.

CaffeineundvideogamesTOTHECLOUD!!!Idon'tuseitforgamingmostofthetimethoughIjusttakeitbecauseitmakesmealwhackedupitslikeadruglikekittensonlyitswaybetteryouknowwhatImean?

Cappucinoisagreatdrink(atleastsometypesofitaregreat)andisveryusefulwhenyourmamma says"Youcan'tdrinkcoffeeyou'retooyoungandwon'tbeabletosleeptonightifyouconsumetoomuchcaffeine" andyoucanjustbuyacappucinoandpretendit'sahotchocolatebecauseitkindalookssimilaryouknowwhatImean? Let'stakealookatsomeofthepopularandnotsopopulartypesofcappucinoshallwe?

ScientistssaythatcaffeineisadrugbecauseitisnotafoodanditeffectsthewaythebrainworksI'veneverhadanydrugsbesidescaffeinesoIwouldn'tknow. CaffeinereallymakesmeallweirdandcrazyIguessthatstheeffectithasonthebrainbecausewheneverIhaveliketwoboxesofcaffeinepillsIgetatonofenergyandIgetallhyperandstuffyouknowwhatImean? butmostofthetimeitjustgetsmereallyhyperandenergeticandhappyandcontenttodothiungslikewhateverimdoingbutmakesimorefunandinterestingandholycrapidontknowwhereiputmykeysohyeahIfound themlyingnearmybedCaffeineusedtobereallyeffectiveIcouldjusthavefiveorsixcupsandIwouldgetallhyperandexcitedandstuffbutnowcaffeineisnotsoexcitinganymoreIhavetohavelotsofittogetabuzz IguessthatsbecauseIgotusedtoitovertimelikesomescientistssaythatIfyoutakeadrugalotyougetusedtoitsoyouhavetotakemoreotherwiseitwon'thaveaneffect. Speakingofscientistssomeofthemdidanexpirimentonspiderswheretheygavethemsomecaffeineandlookedattheirwebsandtheywereallfuckedupitwaslikethemormalspiderswebwasallcondensed andneatandthenthecaffeinatedspiderwebwasgoingallovertheplaceitwaslikeFewoo! Fewee!Fwoosh!youknowwhatImean? SometimesifIhaveenoughcaffeineIgetlikethatI'malllikeFewoo! Fewee!Fwoosh!andI'mgoingallovertheplaceyouknowwhatImean?

Overuseofcaffeinecanmakeyouimpatentandyoucanneverhavesexwithawoman.butifyoudrinkthatmuchcaffeineyouwillprobablyneverhavesexanyway. Youwillalsohavecaffeinebabiestheequivalenttocrackbabies.

SomepeoplesaythatcaffeineisbadforyoubecauseitmakesyourheartgoreallyfastandsoundlikeamachinegunbutIdon'tknowanythingaboutthatI'vebeenoncaffeineforthepastfifteenyearsnow soIdon'tthinkitsreallythatbadbutmaybeitisandiwilldieanearlydeath. Ifyouthinkcaffeinemightbebadforyouthereareseveralalternativestoitthatmakeyouallexcitedandstuffimgoingtotellthemtoyou nowsoyoubetterlistenbecauseaparentlyItalkreallyfastIdon'tthinkIdobuteveryoneImeetsaysthatsoIguesIdoanywayheregoes:

1. Adrenaline -Adrenalineisgreatyoucanfinditinhospitalsbecausetheyuseitforpeoplewhoseheartsstopbeatingsoifyouraidahospitalyoucangetsomeandinjectacoupledozendoses inI'vehadadrenalinebeforeitwasreallygreatalmostasgoodascaffeinebutitwassohardtogetIthinkiwouldprefercoffee.
2. Sugar -OndayswhenIhavetwicetheammountofcoffeeInormallydopeopleatworkaskmeifI'vebeeneatingthesugaroutofthesugarbowlofcourseineverdothatIjustdrinkcoffeebutIguesssome peopleliketodothatbecauseittastesgoodtheonlyproblemisittakesalotofsugartogiveyouabuzzanditwearsoffprettyquickly.
3. Cocaine -Aparentlycocaineisillegalbecausepeoplegetaddictedtoitanditkillspeoplebutitdidn'treallyhaveamajoreffectonmebecauseitookitduringamajorcaffeinehighsonothingreally happenedthatInoticedifyouwanttouseititsprobablymoreharmfulthancaffeineanditcostsahellofalotofmoneybutwhateveryouknowwhatImean?
4. Taurine-It'slikecaffeineoncocaineormaybemorelikecocaineoncaffeinewhichiskindofironicwhenyouthinkaboutitbuttheystickitinRedBull hencethenameandittasteslikesourgymsocksbut
   DAMNitgetsyougoinginthemorningIoncedrankacanoftaurineandaced4finalexamsinonedaywithoutstudyingforthembecausetaurinemakesyouSMARTandsometimesyoumixitwith
   inositolandglucoseandmethandyougoINSANEliketotatllybatfuckinsaneWAHAHAHAHAHoooooooooooWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEI'mafiremanIalwayswantedtobeafiremanand
   arobotninjakaratepolicemanastronautwhofightscrimeandsavespeoplebutrightnowIhavetogotoworkanddostuffbecausemybossisgettingharassedbyhissuperiorssoweallhavetowork
   overtimewhichiswhyIdrankallthisfreakingRedBull inthefirstplace!
5. Speed -Amphetaminesofvarioussortsarelikesuperiorcaffeineinthattheyhavesimilarorbettereffectswithoutthehearttroubleandthestomachtroubleandwithspeedyoudon'tworryaboutnot

sleepingyoujustdon'tsleepuntilyoudoandthenboydoyousleepandbesidesthere'sabunchofamphetaminesthatworkfastorslowandlastalongtimeorgiveyouabigrushallatoncebutthe60'srockgroup CannedHeatsaid"speedkills"butdrugsdon'tkillpeoplestoppedheartsandlackofrespirationkillspeopleandBritish popculturehasbeendependentonamphetaminesfordecadestherewouldbenoWhono modsandforthatmatternoElvisCostellowithoutamphetaminesandyoucan'thavetruckerswithoutlittlewhitepillsSixDaysOnTheRoadandI'mgonnamakeithometonightjustgimmeweedwhitesandwine andI'llbewillingsoyouknowthetimesaresuchthatitdoesn'tmatterthatyou'reparanoidbecausethere'ssomuchmoretobeafraidofthanyouhavetimefor

1. Crack -onceyou'vetriedcrackthere'snothingelsetodoandnothingelsethatmattersbutthat'sbecauseeverypartofyourbrainexceptthepartthatlikescrackandthepartthatmakesyoufeelutterlyvile whenyoudon'thavecrackjustDIESandrotsawayleavingbighollowechoeyplaceswherethewindwhispersCrackCrackCrack
2. Electricity -BetweendeadandwelldoneisaplacewhereeverythinghappensatonceandtimestopsandyouareSOFASTunfortunatelyithurtslikeeverycellwenttoitsownhellanditsareallyhardlighttowalktowards

CAFFEINEINHIGHQUANTITIESCAUSESMYFRIENDSTOTELLMETHENEXTMORNINGABOUTALLTHESEWEIRDSOUNDSIWASMAKINGBUTIDONTREMEMBERTHATPARTTHEYALSOVIDEOTAPED MEHAVINGASEIZURE BUTIDELETEDITCAUSEIWASALLLIKEGASHASHASHASHAYOUKNOWWHATIMEAN?ITSCAREDMEIWASALLLIKEHOLYCRAPYOUKNOWWHATIMEAN?

SoyeahIguesswhatI'mtryingtosayisthemorecaffeinethebetteryouknowwhatImean? Butsometimes the coffee high can wear down and you start to feel normal ttthhheeennn yyyooouuu gggeeettt rrreeeaaalll sssllleeepppyyy until you drink more coffee.