How would you have handled a situation like this?

This is from an email I sent back to Trust and Safety on January 14, 2020 after receiving a very upsetting list of anonymous complaints about my behavior at unnamed events. The costs of a complaint like this and the hours required for everyone involved is staggering. I used to encourage my wealthiest friends to give big checks to WMF. That stopped in 2016 when I discovered how oddly the money was being spent. Worse, how terribly my time, our time, everyone’s time has been and continues to be wasted with these methods of handling conflict between people. I still do not have resolution on this, only a closure of the case.

Please note, I have and will default to removing most people’s names, though it’s not hard to dig and find them if you feel the need. It is not my intent to shame anyone, rather to openly share these communications which are so systemically hurtful. There’s enough shaming already going around and we need to figure out how not to treat each other this way.

I continue to believe in Good Faith. We are all here trying to support the free knowledge movement and I am sorry that I have upset others in how I help. I hope at some point conflicts will have support staff to mediate instead of just to prosecute. If you’re reading this and have not spoken to me in years, you will understand why I have given up on trying to reach out. I would welcome your perspectives. Please get in touch.

- - -

January 14, 2020

From Dr Melissa Ganus, aka DrMel

In regards to concerns listed in 22 December 2019 email to DrMel from __

It was just after midnight, 3 nights before Christmas, when I got this email from __, representing the Wikimedia Trust & Safety department.

In the email, __ asks for a reply by December 30. That wasn’t possible for me, with family medical emergencies and moves all happening over the holiday break. I let __ know and __ gave me until 15 January 2020 to respond. Since then, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting and reconnecting with people I’ve been working with. I’ve never received a list like this before. I am grateful to my friends and colleagues for their feedback and suggestions on how best to respond.

On Dec 22, 2019, at 00:37, (name removed) <____@wikimedia.org> wrote:

Hello, Dr. Mel.

My name is __, and I work for the Trust & Safety team of the Wikimedia Foundation. Our work includes reviewing and acting on situations that may not be compatible with maintaining the safe and collegial environment that is necessary for our movement to thrive. Often, this means identifying conflict points and working with contributors on how to improve their approaches.

I am reaching out to you because we have been approached with concerns about your in-person interactions with others as well as representation. When we receive such reports, as a first step, we do a preliminary review of the concerns raised. While our privacy rules prevent us discussing specifics of the concerns, we would like to discuss with you their general nature and ask your perspective on that. Specifically, this is what we’d like to discuss with you:

• That you, while serving as a representative of a Wikimedia affiliate group, spoke extensively and repeatedly in a negative and disparaging manner about another Wikimedia affiliate group, in a manner that some participants found disruptive. If this is the case, this would be a violation of the Friendly Spaces Policy;
• That you are misrepresenting your strategy liaison role on your user page, where you are listed as a Foundation strategy liaison, yet do not appear on the community liaisons list, who are part-time contractors hired for a 9-month period. Instead, you are instead listed as a organisational strategy liaison, but there are concerns that you have not been given that mandate by the affiliate you are representing (San Diego Wikimedians).
• That you appear to have used or been using Wikimedia events for promotion/networking for your personal business by attempting to link your business as a partner to events and by using presentation time at events to bring up your business and its work (like through handing out plastic trinkets promoting it). We have received reports that your timing of and manner around this has been making other event participants very uncomfortable, which would be seen as a breach of the Friendly Space Policy;
• That you have made other people uncomfortable at in-person events by monopolizing limited time of presenters during event sessions; and
• That you have made inappropriate sexual overtures to other attendees at Wikimedia events, such as implicitly inviting them to be your casual (romantic) partner or inviting them to share with you details of anyone else who might be interested in that proposition. This would be a violation of the Friendly Spaces Policy as Movement conferences are generally not an appropriate venue to discuss romantic relationships or pursue potential romantic relationships with other conference attendees, and those who have shared this concern with us have felt uncomfortable with the situation.

We understand that we’re not giving specific details here, which can make response difficult, but we’d like to hear your perspective on the above, before we draw any conclusions. Can you give me some information about how you perceive your participation at events, including whether you're aware of any problems people have had with your communications about or two others, and thoughts on whether your behavior may have adversely affected others? Also, can you provide information about your strategy liaison role as a representative of the San Diego Wikimedians user group?

We will be collating data for review on 30 December 2019, and I would really like to include your perspective in that review, so I ask your response by that date. Any information you share will be held under the same privacy expectations which we afford to reporters, disclosed only to essential staff unless directed otherwise by our Legal department. I look forward to communicating with you further.

Best Regards, __. -- Trust and Safety Wikimedia Foundation

First I’d like to start with a very broad apology. I am truly sorry. If you have ever felt uncomfortable around me, please know I have had no motivations or intention to cause you discomfort, and ask for your forgiveness. Sometimes I can overwhelm people. Please let me know what works best for you so that I can avoid making you uncomfortable in the future.

My goal in this document is to respond to the list of 5 concerns in __’s email above, which have come from one or more members of other Wikimedia projects. We’ve labeled the concerns as follows:

1. Repeated negative/disparaging comments about another affiliate group
2. Misrepresenting strategy role
3. Promoting own business with trinkets
4. Monopolizing presenter time in sessions
5. Inappropriate comments

Given the nature of these 5 areas of concern, I'll respond to them in reverse order:

In regards to #5 - "inappropriate sexual overtures to other attendees at Wikimedia events, such as implicitly inviting them to be your casual (romantic) partner or inviting them to share with you details of anyone else who might be interested in that proposition."

I identify as queer, gender fluid and polyamorous, and am very open about my non-normative values and lifestyle. I also believe strongly in the Friendly Spaces values, and apologize for any comments I've made about my identity and relationship status that have led others to feel uncomfortable. Identity in the queer community is often misunderstood as recruiting. I am not trying to recruit. I agree to be very mindful about such topics in future wiki contexts as I agree that comments about sexuality can make many people feel uncomfortable and I have no motivations to do so.

In regards to #4 - "you have made other people uncomfortable at in-person events by monopolizing limited time of presenters during event sessions."

I am not sure which events or presenters this concern is specific to, but I am sorry to read that my participation and engagement is making others uncomfortable. If there are guidelines for how best to interact with speakers at Wikimedia events, I would be happy to follow those. In general, I always try to be very mindful and concise in my questions during sessions, and often look for opportunities to talk with speakers before or after their sessions, welcoming anyone else to join or take over such conversations. I will strive to be even more conscientious about this at future events. I am open to more specific instructions.

In regards to #3 - "you appear to have used or been using Wikimedia events for promotion/networking for your personal business by attempting to link your business as a partner to events and by using presentation time at events to bring up your business and its work (like through handing out plastic trinkets promoting it)"

As part of my work in social justice and education, I started a small social enterprise called Quality of Life Experiments (QoL-x.org) which operates as a collection of not-for-profit projects. In many of our projects, we partner with other people and organizations that have shared missions. We have also developed a number of educational learning activities and materials specifically designed to help people reduce anxiety and discomfort, be better prepared for crises, and improve quality of life. The items I have handed out are not to promote a for-profit business, but are educational materials that we give away freely to demonstrate key concepts. For example, I brought "magic mood changing pencils" to the wikiSummit last year as gifts for fellow attendees, showing others how they could be used to de-escalate uncomfortable emotions, something that seems very relevant in many Wikimedia project contexts. The gifts I give are not designed as marketing materials. If sharing them as gifts is not acceptable, I will refrain from bringing them.

In regards to #2 - "you are misrepresenting your strategy liaison role on your user page, where you are listed as a Foundation strategy liaison, yet do not appear on the community liaisons list, who are part-time contractors hired for a 9-month period. Instead, you are instead listed as a organisational strategy liaison, but there are concerns that you have not been given that mandate by the affiliate you are representing (San Diego Wikimedians)"

I do not believe I have misrepresented my role as an unpaid organizational strategy liaison for San Diego Wikimedians, but have updated my User Page to include the specific phrasing "organizational strategy liaison" with a link to the page describing what that means in more detail. I was asked by my co-organizer, James Udan, to apply for the position last March and have put in many hours in that role, including many conversations, surveying our members about their views on the strategy proposals, proposing strategy salons, and talking with other leadership in the San Diego communities about possibilities. Our group members have confirmed that they support my continued work as our strategy liaison, and no one else has asked for or offered to take over the role. We are confused about how this concern arose.

In regards to #1 - "you, while serving as a representative of a Wikimedia affiliate group, spoke extensively and repeatedly in a negative and disparaging manner about another Wikimedia affiliate group, in a manner that some participants found disruptive."

I am unclear what the specifics of this concern are related to, but will again apologize for having made anyone else uncomfortable based on my conversations with others. I have no motivation to speak negatively or disparagingly about anyone else. I have spoken about the experiences we have had in San Diego over the past 4 years in our work to be part of the Wikimedia projects, and the consternation that comes with complex human projects. If the person or people who have filed these concerns about me would like to discuss the specifics, I would be very happy to clear the air and come to some agreed upon ways to move forward without offense.

Since my years on digital divide projects in the 1990s and my first edits on Wikipedia in 2004, I have been deeply committed to the value shared knowledge gives us at a global level. I see so many opportunities to bring more people into the movement as contributors. I remain very committed to helping however I can.

In closing, I would again like to apologize for things I have said or done that have caused distress to others. I would appreciate any clarifications, questions or suggestions on what we can do to move forward in better synchrony as we enter the new decade.

Very sincerely and with hope,

Dr Melissa Ganus, EdD, MBA, ADD

CoFounder, Quality of Life Experiments, wikiSoCal.org, wikiBlind.org

and Organizational Strategy Liaison for San Diego Wikimedians User Group (US-SAN)

Working toward the greatest good for the greatest number.

submitted January 14, 2020

I received this email from the organizers of the 2020 wikiSummit in Berlin before I had even had time to draft, circulate for review and send a reply to Trust and Safety.

Date: January 8, 2020 at 7:41:58 AM PST
From: (an organizer of the Wikimedia summit and global conversations)
To: Dr Mel Ganus and James Udan (cofounder of wikiSoCal and San Diego user group)
Cc: (3 other Wikimedia staff organizers of summit and global conversations)
Subject: San Diego Wikimedians at the Wikimedia Summit 2020

Dear San Diego Wikimedians,

Happy New Year.

I’m writing you this e-mail because it was brought to our attention that there are concerns regarding Melissa’s participation at the Wikimedia Summit. For the time being, Melissa’s registration is on hold to clarify all questions.

Originally, when James Udan had registered for the Wikimedia Summit, his responses to the questions in the registration form did not show a clear commitment for the implementation phase of the Movement Strategy process that we were looking for. To this end, I had asked for either more detailed responses or another representative. I assume, that’s why Melissa registered afterwards.

Before we can move on with all travel arrangements, I would like to know how the San Diego Wikimedians User Group decided to nominate Melissa for being the representative for the Wikimedia Summit, and if there are public minutes of this decision. Also, I would like to know if this was a decision taken by all members of the User Group. Furthermore, I would like to know if Melissa’s status as a Strategy Liaison for the San Diego User Group is still up to date.

Best regards (organizer name) (organizers signature details removed)

Date: January 11, 2020 at 6:07:43 AM PST
From: Mel Ganus <dr.mel.ganus@gmail.com>
To: (wikisummit organizer who sent email above)
Cc: (now 8 people - those staff previously cc'd and adding the members of wikiSoCal)
Subject: San Diego Wikimedians at the Wikimedia Summit 2020

To (name) et al,

We respectfully request you allow James Udan to represent us at WikiSummit. I have cc’d our core group members above.

Given the nature of the complaints against me and your email rescinding my invitation, our group has again discussed and decided we want James Udan to represent us at the 2020 WikiSummit. James is an exceptional user group organizer who has been coordinating our monthly events for the past several years and is dedicated to supporting the movement however he can.

James had been our original pick until we received your email indicating you wanted someone with more knowledge of the movement strategy. Strategic work in digital divide issues has been my focus with work since the 1990s on related projects, and in our group discussions, we agreed that if James wasn’t being accepted as our representative that I should go instead. In the conversation you and I had, we agreed, and made the switch.

I have been and remain our group’s Organizational Strategy liaison, and would be happy to talk with anyone about the work I have done in that role. We are unsure why that has been questioned. No other member of our group has asked or offered to take on that role.

Please include all of us in your reply.

Mel

Dr Mel Ganus, EdD, MBA, ADD drmelganus.org

Quality of Life Experiments www.QoL-X.org

"Working toward the greatest good for the greatest number."