You suck at CSS but want to impress your friends anyway? This PHP class converts an image to thousands of CSS lines of box-shadow properties. It's totally pointless... but life is pointless...
You can see a demonstration on CodePen.io.
http://codepen.io/jaysalvat/pen/HaqBf
include 'PointlessImageToCssConverter.php';
$img = new PointlessImageToCssConverter("monalisa.jpg");
$img->setWidth(200);
$img->setPixelSize(4);
$img->setBlur(4);
echo $img->computeStyle();
GD extension required.