user:consarn

• rice (as much as you want)
• meat (also as much as you want; preferably avian or bovine, but whatever else is fine)
• onion (at least one medium-sized one)
• garlic (at least three cloves)
• ketchup (~100 grams (3.5 oz) per ~500 grams (18 oz) of meat)
• mustard (~75 grams (2.6 oz) per that same measurement of meat)
• table cream (or whichever one is used for sauces) (a small box?)
• salt (i mean, duh)
• oil (not very important)
• water (i mean, duh)
• butter/margarine (optional, but a spoonful can do)
• spices (whichever and as much as you want, so i'll recommend pepper seeds, oregano, celery, and a milder variant of paprika)
• champignon (optional, 'cause that shit's expensive)
• potato sticks (not optional, your ancestors will be disappointed if you miss it)

• add rice to a pot. you'll need to keep how much you've added in mind, so it's easier to measure in increments of at least half a mug
• add a small portion of oil to the rice
• turn your stove on (very important)
• mix the rice so that the oil makes it oily (whoa)
• wait about 30 seconds
• add twice the amount of rice in water (i.e. two mugs of water for each mug of rice)
• add salt (about a small spoonful)
• add spices (optional)
• mix
• leave on high heat until the water isn't that visible anymore
• when that happens, cover the pot and put on low heat
• turn off when it looks like it's starting to get dry

• dice the onions and garlic
• dice the meat right now if you want
• if you have any spices to dice, dice them right now too
• dice the champignon if you found some that isn't pre-diced
• put the onions and garlic on a pan with the butter/margarine
• turn your stove on (whoa, again?)
• stir and fry onions and garlic until golden
• add meat
• stir and fry meat until it looks edible
• add ketchup, mustard, cream, spices, water (roughly half a mug), and salt (a medium spoonful, or a little less if you've gone hard on the spices)
• stir and fry until a little bubbly
• add champignon if you're a bazillionaire
• stir and fry until it looks done
• turn off

• put both in a bowl
• put potato sticks on top
• eat (very important)

bone apple teeth, bitchcake... or whatever the russians say