Talk:Hugo von Pohl

This review is transcluded from Talk:Hugo von Pohl/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Ian Rose (talk · contribs) 06:07, 22 March 2013 (UTC) [reply ]

Finally, a biography from me 'ole mate Nate -- how can I resist...? ;-) Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 06:07, 22 March 2013 (UTC) [reply ]

I don't know either! Thanks for taking it on, Ian :) Parsecboy (talk) 12:51, 22 March 2013 (UTC) [reply ]

Toolbox check

• No dab links
• No external links

Structure

• Lead is nice and punchy but it could use a line or two about his pre-war career; it's supposed to summarise the article but at the moment focuses solely on his WWI career.
  • Added a bit - see how it reads now.
• Generally I'd put a subheader under the first part of the Biography section, to balance the later First World War subheader, if you can think of an appropriate one (I realise Early career might be a bit strange as it covers 40 years...)
  • I guess "early career" works.

Referencing

• Citations are good and sources look reliable; all offline so good faith assumed on accuracy and avoidance of close paraphrasing.

Supporting materials

• Infobox looks fine.
• Image licensing seems appropriate; you could add alt text to it, and perhaps throw in a relevant image to illustrate the Biography section, but neither is essential.
  • Added one of the High Seas Fleet.

Prose

• Pls check my copyedit to ensure I haven't altered meaning by accident.
• Only outstanding thing from my viewpoint is the first sentence of First World War: there's no action, you just name a bunch of people -- something missing?
  • Heh, must've been distracted when I was writing that. Thanks for catching it.

Content/detail

• Pre-war career seems a bit thin even for GA. Can you flesh it out a little? Another short paragraph's worth would balance the article nicely, if info's available.
  • I managed to dig up a bit on his time in the "torpedo gang", but there's not a whole lot on this chap. I did manage to find out his wife's name, but not when they were married or if they had children.

Summary

• Generally looks pretty good, see how you go with the queries/suggestions above. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 08:00, 27 March 2013 (UTC) [reply ]
  • Thanks again, Ian. Parsecboy (talk) 14:02, 27 March 2013 (UTC) [reply ]
    • Tks for responses/actions -- happy to pass as GA, well done. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 14:16, 27 March 2013 (UTC) [reply ]