Talk:2011–12 York City F.C. season

This review is transcluded from Talk:2011–12 York City F.C. season/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Lemonade51 (talk · contribs) 15:16, 27 June 2012 (UTC) [reply ]

General

• No issues with reliability of sources
• No problems with images
• No dead links, nor dabs

Lead

• "Luton Town provided York's opposition in the 2012 Conference National play-off Final" needs rephrasing, I'm not too sure 'provided' is the right word here.
  • Reworded to "Luton Town were York's opponents". Mattythewhite (talk) 18:23, 27 June 2012 (UTC) [reply ]
• "finished the Conference season fourth in the league table", missing a 'they' before finished.
  • Added. Mattythewhite (talk) 18:23, 27 June 2012 (UTC) [reply ]
• "York City won their first trophy in 19 years with in the 2012 FA Trophy Final." grammar problem here
  • Reworded to "in 19 years with victory". Mattythewhite (talk) 18:23, 27 June 2012 (UTC) [reply ]

Background

• remove wikilink on manager, it has been wikilinked before
  • According to WP:OVERLINK wikilinks should be added in the "first occurrence after the lead", so I think this should be fine being linked? Mattythewhite (talk) 18:23, 27 June 2012 (UTC) [reply ]
• "New additions to the defensive ranks" reads sport journal journalese, perhaps rephrase to "New additions in defence"
  • Reworded as suggested. Mattythewhite (talk) 18:23, 27 June 2012 (UTC) [reply ]
• "in the scond leg", spelling mistake
  • Fixed. Mattythewhite (talk) 18:23, 27 June 2012 (UTC) [reply ]

Review

• Replace comma in "A second victory came in York's first home game of the season, a 3–1 victory", with a semicolon
  • Added. Mattythewhite (talk) 18:23, 27 June 2012 (UTC) [reply ]
• "from the edge of the box", is that penalty box? Clarify
  • Correct, have added penalty area and wikilinked. Mattythewhite (talk) 18:23, 27 June 2012 (UTC) [reply ]
• "Chambers was called up by the England C team for a friendly away at Gibraltar, and he made his debut in this game as a half-time substitute, with England going on to lose 3–1.", what does this have to do, in the context of York's season?
  • Not a lot, so I've removed it and replaced the corresponding image. Mattythewhite (talk) 18:23, 27 June 2012 (UTC) [reply ]
• "York suffered their first league defeat since September" → "York suffered their second league defeat in the league"
  • It was the fifth league defeat of the season, so do you mean "York suffered their fifth league defeat in the league"? Although I'd say it being the first league defeat in nearly three months is more notable. Mattythewhite (talk) 18:23, 27 June 2012 (UTC) [reply ]
• Any quotes from the manager or players after being promoted back into the Football League? Could be handy to include in the May section.
  • Have added quotes from play-off match-winner Matty Blair and manager Gary Mills, and have also mentioned the approval of plans for a new community stadium.

Player details

• What do the numbers inside the parentheses mean?
  • Appearances as a substitute. Have added a note to explain this. Mattythewhite (talk) 18:23, 27 June 2012 (UTC) [reply ]

Otherwise happy to pass this once changes are made, on hold. Lemonade51 (talk) 15:38, 27 June 2012 (UTC) [reply ]