User talk:Zombiebaron

Hello, Uncyclopedians. It is with great UnPleasure that I say that I, ARandomPage, pictured to the left, have stolen your UnSignpost, and am now the lead writer, sandwich-thrower, picture-stealer, and UnSignpost-er! URA HA HA! But fear not. I am willing to give you back your UnSignpost... for a high price of winning a Sandwich of the Month. wait. What? Now I have to actually write UnSignposts regularly? What do you mean I'm not an admin and can't write this thing yet? What do you mean by "the role of sandwich-thrower is one you just made up?".. GOD.

DAMMIT.------------

Sandwich of the Month is finally up! By ARandomPage
Yes, you heard that right! After 12 years and 5 months, we FINALLY made a Sandwich of the Month award! No more broken Sandwich of the Month link that just goes to Vote for Sysop; there's actually a Sandwich of the Month award now! This new award is used as a glorified thanks system. Or exactly the opposite. Yeah, uh... That's it. I don't know how to explain further. Templates for it were made as well, I guess. The best part? It's not on the award template, because whoever made the award can't edit fully-protected pages and is too lazy to make an edit request! Wait a second. That's the best part? Who put THAT sentence in?..

ARandomPage has gone crazy! By Unnamed Space
BREAKING NEWS! It has been discovered that ARandomPage, one of Uncyclopedia's newer editors, is apparently a madman with too much time on their hands. A full list of their crimes is here:

• Opening the floodgates stopping the fish migration
• Labelling everyone traitors who deserve "depth"
• Naming an entire war-conflict-fiasco without any consensus
• Not bothering to finish either of their articles
• Fixing errors... wait, no, that's a good thing
• Vandalizing the Hobo Queen 2's page
• Stealing the UnSignpost
• Rearranging the UnSignpost... wait, I think it works better this way
• Not even bothering to check if anyone else has plans to steal the UnSignpost

Biopic This edition's biopic is one on stealing the UnSignpost. Since for some reason, literally nobody bothers to check on the UnSignpost, people can easily steal the UnSignpost... up to the part where they have to message Cassie, a sporadically-active bureaucrat, about delivering it. That, or manually deliver their stolen work to every UnSignpost subscriber... or, since you're doing it manually, just every active user. Hey, that's not such a bad idea! I'LL DO IT!

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VFH Highlight Of The Week HowTo:Get Expelled from School (6/0)

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UnSignpost News ARandomPage steals the UnSignpost. Read the first section for more.

Chat Quote ..... IRC is dead. And I can't grab a quote from Discord since I don't have Discord.

THIS. IS. NOT. A. DRILL! Just today, the Main Page has been deleted, and the person who started this deletion is none other than ARandomPage himself! How did this happen? Why did Page cause the deletion of the Main Page? You shall see, once you finish reading this UnSignpost!

This mess started on Discord, with ARandomPage, Cassie, Microsoft for POTUS, Banzaikitten, PF4Eva and JJPMaster. After an innocent discussion between all of them minus PF4 over a video, Banzai's wishes to cause minor inconveniences (which were stopped because Banzai is technically incompetent), and Svex the vandal, ARandomPage brought up the topic of the three pending deletions of the Main Page as per consensus on VFD. Page asked Cassie to delete the Main Page thrice sometime in the future, and Cassie, being Cassie, deleted the Main Page four minutes later. Microsoft then created the Main Page with the word "a", Banzai vandalized the Main Page, JJP declared that she was sad, and Cassie put up a notice saying that the Main Page was being set up. A few minutes later, Cassie had restored the Main Page as if nothing had happened. Peace returned to Uncyclopedia, and everyone got off scot-free... right?

WRONG! Despite the actual Main Page deletion crisis being over, the aftermath was arguably scarier than the real deletion. First, Cassie joke-blocked everyone involved in this discussion for a few minutes. Then, Banzai blocked Cassie for 100 years, as according to them, Cassie had committed the ultimate sacrilege. This caused Page to get mad and demand proper justice by turning himself in as the person who truly deleted the Main Page by telling Cassie to do it, even telling Banzai to give him the death penalty, which they refused. Though Page got a 900-year ban for a few minutes from Banzai, which Page celebrated, Banzai then essentially unblocked Page and went to sleep. Oh, what mess Banzaikitten will wake up to...

That's right, we have a new method of blocking! JJPMaster has invented the "symbolic block", which basically messes up a user's common.js file to deny them access to Uncyclopedia through conventional means. While JJPMaster was symbolically blocking Page, and later on, Banzai, Cassie opened a black hole on Page's userpage. According to JJPMaster herself, "i may have been waiting to "symbolically block" a human person ever since i got this permission".

And there you have it. That's the entire Main Page deletion incident of October 22, 2022. The true culprit of this crime has somehow escaped punishment... for now.

Biopic This is a special edition, I don't have time for this biopic.

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VFH Highlight Of The Week Uncyclopedia:VFH (7/1)

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UnSignpost News ARandomPage, the only person currently operating the UnSignpost, is in Uncyclopedia purgatory for high treason: deleting the Main Page.

Chat Quote Cass the Ban-Hammer Wielder🔨: I have no choice but to declare thunder on you

By ARandomPage
Over on the Uncyclopedia Discord, PF4Eva commonly makes references to stuff that ARandomPage doesn't know about. This causes ARandomPage to get confused, which thus confuses PF4 over how Page doesn't seem to know anything about the sort of stuff he's referencing, once saying that "he's probably the only person outside of my family who's this oblivious" and that he's "half-expecting him to ask us what the sun is". Kippy then remarked that Page ruins comedic flow worse than PF4 (PF4 ruins comedic flow by following a joke up with a worse joke or pop culture reference, Page ruins comedic flow by taking things seriously and making Kippy spend several minutes explaining it and trying to salvage the joke's comedic potential). This confusion from Page happens in many other situations as well, causing "AwhRyan" (who doesn't have an account here but is on the Uncyc Discord) to think that his cluelessness is an act. Spoiler alert: My confusion and cluelessness is (usually) not an act.------------

Zombiebaron wants to propose the creation of an Uncyclopedia Arbitration Committee next month By You probably know who the only person making UnSignposts is by now
Just under a week ago, Zombiebaron, the baron of zombies, said in the Uncyclopedia Discord that he plans to propose an Uncyclopedia Arbitration Committee in next month's VFS vote. ARandomPage commented that he felt like Uncyclopedia is too small to make such a thing a good idea, as well that it would probably just be more useless bureaucracy. Zombiebaron then said that Uncyclopedia, being a Wikipedia parody, should parody useless bureaucracy as well, which... fair enough, I suppose. Page then questioned if an UnArbCom would even help anything, and Kippy said that UnArbCom's parody name should be the "Arbitrary Committee", which is a name ARandomPage found quite funny (and descriptive). Page then expressed fear over how important ArbCom decisions could be, which was quickly removed when Page actually read about what an ArbCom usually does.

Biopic I have no idea how to write biopics. I also don't know why we have them in the first place.

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UnSignpost News ARandomPage is too lazy to make UnSignposts more frequently. Also, he's been on Uncyc for a year now.

Chat Quote Kippy: He ruins comedic flow worse than you!