User:Orangutang94/sandbox

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Here's your Article Itinerary so you can more easily find it.

Mobile Pagemaker[edit | edit source ]

No real way to make new articles on mobile so here's the workaround:

Insert new redlink here[edit | edit source ]

You are in Heaven

Ideas for Patrick Mahomes' page[edit | edit source ]

  • Kermit voice
  • Ketchup
  • Anything else?
  • State Farm
  • Normal prose for "article"... or... write from the POV of his crazy brother Jackson (we can also list him and Pat's wife Brittany as the KC Chiefs' "cheerleaders")
  • Pulling out bullshit from thin air. Might also be appropriate for Josh Allen, Aaron Rodgers, Russell Wilson

Ideas for a potential Jon Gruden page[edit | edit source ]

  • Get that red-faced/sunburnt picture from Deadspin as his infobox picture.
  • Lampoon Spider 2 Y Banana somehow
  • Lol Petermeme
  • Monday Night Football?
  • His getting cancelled after they found his meany mcpoopy pants emails.

Ideas for Ryan Fitzpatrick's page[edit | edit source ]

  • He's a conman alright. An experienced, professional thief and sneaky conman
  • Harvard guy... so anything to do with the movie 21?
  • Find a way to incorporate his sunglasses pic from Tampa Bay and/or his shirtless in Buffalo at -10 degrees picture
  • Fitzmagic, Fitztragic, Fitzception

Ideas for Joe Burrow's page[edit | edit source ]

  • Joe Brrr/Joe Cool 2.0 is so emotionless and deadly he might be a Replicant.
  • Tom Brady, in his retirement, thinks so and has become a blade runner in his retirement. (He's just really jealous of Mahomes, Allen, and Burrow)
    • Plot twist - Burrow is a replicant (inspired by Ryan Gosling's character from Blade Runner 2049), but the NFL doesn't care. Brady, however, is a obsolete replicant that should have been "retired" a long time ago.

Ideas for Raiders page[edit | edit source ]

  • JaFatasss Russell
  • Fast receivers
    • Fast breakaway criminals
  • Vegas, baby!

DC Comics[edit | edit source ]

  • Make a page on DCEU versions of characters such as Superman (Cavill's version), Batfleck, WonderGal, and Jason Momoa's Aquaman?
  • Or maybe just one DCEU page with those characters? Also reinforce the public's stereotypes about them. (done. brief paragraphs on the characters above)
  • Josstice vs Snyder (done)

Halo TV Series[edit | edit source ]

  • Angry German Kid reviews the show:
    • Flips out when Chief takes off helmet, armor, and then becomes "Master Cheeks"
    • Flips out at Kwan's character
    • Flips out at Cortana's promo, then cheers
    • Cheers at episode 5's action
    • Flips out and breaks TV, keyboard, screen when Chief shows emotion
    • Interrupted by a "unbiased" reviewer, who says it's okay.
    • Dies when Master Cheeks bangs the Covenant girl, then switch over to non-biased reviewer

Keep in mind[edit | edit source ]


TESTING GROUNDS[edit | edit source ]

Template:US Census population

Franklin Delano Roosevelt
No image
Personal info
Nationality Mythological Figure/Demigod
Date of birth Murica
Place of birth Murica
Date of death Never!
Place of death Upstate New York (purportedly)
First Lady Elanor
Political career
Order 33rd President of United States
Vice President 6 guys not named Harry Truman, then Truman
Prime Minister n/a
Term of office 14 January, 1933–9 April, 1945, actually forever
Preceded by Herbert the Hoover
Succeeded by Bomb man
Political party Commy party when it was cool
Penis nickname Willy on Wheels


Part III: scamming the NFL[edit | edit source ]

With Allen firmly taking the NFL by storm, other teams have attempted to mimic the Bills' luck by finding their "own Josh Allens", or rather big beefy quarterbacks with rocket arms, the ability to run over defenders, and deficiencies such as terrible accuracy and bone-headed decision-making. Former NFL coach Jon Gruden has observed that each of these teams have taken these "project quarterbacks" with the mindset that "just because Allen overcame his accuracy issues and intrusive thoughts, they think their guy can too!" In fact, some teams from the past have secretly visited the year 2020 after time travel was invented in 1982, observed Josh Allen, and gone back to their time in history to draft the guy who looked the most like Josh Allen.

Here's how each "Josh Allen clone" has panned out in the NFL thus far:

Year Team Quarterback selected Verdict Notes
1983 Denver Broncos John Elway SUCCESS: Elway is the true embodiment of Josh Allen. But then Allen is also the true embodiment of John Elway
  • The Broncos time-travelled from the year 1982 to 2020, took notes on Allen, went back in time, and correctly drafted Elway.
  • Elway's college stats were terrible, like Allen
  • Time paradox created from being the first instance of time-travel in the NFL, and also the "chicken-and-egg" question: "Did Elway copy Allen or did Allen copy Elway?"
1991 Indianapolis Colts Jeff George Modest failure: Jeff George is a failed second prototype of Josh Allen
  • Another time-travel instance in which the Colts travelled from the year 1990 to 2020, taking notes to be "ahead of their time".
    • Despite having a physique similar to Allen, George failed in the NFL due to having a mentality similar to Jay Cutler but somehow dicked around in the league for a decade.
1992 Atlanta Falcons Brett Favre SUCCESS: Brett Favre is a successful third prototype of Josh Allen
  • The Falcons time-travelled from the year 1991 to 2020
  • After one year, they gave up on their experiment on Favre due to him sucking ass. Their loss, as the Packers claimed him. The rest is history.
  • Brett Favre truly embodies Allen's "fuck it and chuck it" attitude, interceptions be damned, and vice versa. Favre won a Super Bowl though!
2003 Chicago Bears Rex Grossman Modest failure: Rex Grossman is a failed fourth prototype of Josh Allen
    2004 Buffalo Bills J. P. Losman Failure: J. P. Losman is a misused Josh Allen prototype that was tried once, forgotten about, then left to rot in the refrigerator.
    • Bills owner Ralph Wilson time-travelled from the year 2003 to 2020 after witnessing the suckass horrors of Drew Bledsoe. Seeing a successful quarterback on the future version of his team, he considered kidnapping Allen and bringing him back to the year 2004, but due to being a cheapskate, returned home and drafted the guy who looked like Allen in the draft.
      • Due to his dementia and cheap attitude, Wilson missed out on Ben Roethlisberger took the second-best guy that fit the criteria.
    • Losman failed in the NFL due to his jabroni-ass coaches having no idea how to play him.
    2007 Oakland Raiders JaMarcus Russell Epic failure: JaMarcus Russell is a street knockoff Josh Allen prototype laced with fentanyl and codeine syrup
    • Prior to the 2007 NFL season, Raiders owner Al Davis time-travelled to 2020, took notes on Allen, and went back to find the guy who looked the most like him.
      • Davis actually tried to kidnap Allen and bring him back to the year 2007, but due to his hired guns blowing their cover, Davis was forced to abort the mission.
    • Aside from the big arm and big body, Russell is nothing like Allen. He embodied Allen's fattest receiver, Kelvin Benjamin, instead.
    2019 New York Giants Daniel Jones Modest failure: Daniel Jones is Dollar Tree-brand Josh Allen
    • First post-Allen draft pick on this list without the use of time travel
    • Also known as "Danny Derps"
    • Automatic tripping hazard after running for 80 yards. Don't ever call a QB Power from your own 10-yard line. Jones will trip well short of the goal line.
    • Allen's former offensive coordinator Brian Daboll tried to run with Jones at QB after becoming the Giants' head coach. However, switching from Allen to Danny Derps is the equivalent of getting "buffalo wings" from a 1-star rated Buffalo Wild Wings after eating them at Gabriel's Gate your entire life. Or switching from Joe's Pizza in Brooklyn to Sbarro's or Little Caesars.
    2021 San Francisco 49ers Trey Lance Epic failure: Trey Lance is Temu-knockoff Josh Allen. In fact, the package doesn't even read "Josh Allen", but rather "Jockstrap Allin"
    • Drafted after only one year of Division III football simply because he looked like a "black Josh Allen" and had godly stats against said DIII competition.
    • Lance was so bad in the pros he was benched after two games in favor of Brock Purdy, AKA "I can't believe it's not Tom Brady"
    2023 Indianapolis Colts Anthony Richardson Too early:
    • Richardson is essentially Trey Lance if he went to an SEC school. An athlete with a rating of "over 9000"
    2023 Tennessee Titans Will Levis Epic failure: Will Levis is Bizarro-world-knockoff Josh Allen
    • Puts mayo in his coffee. Gross..
    • Tries to play hero-ball like Allen, but every time he does so, it's an epic, meme-worthy failure.
      • Levis is essentially the embodiment of all of rookie Josh Allen's intrusive thoughts and none of the dumb luck.
    2024 New England Patriots Drake Maye Too early/modest success: From early indications, Drake Maye is Amazon-brand Josh Allen. Not quite as good as the original, but serviceable.
    • Unable to beat Allen, the Patriots got their own version of him.

    Ultimate verdict: your quarterback prospect is NOT Josh Allen, and will never be! Josh Allen is a once-in-a-lifetime prospect, your knockoff is most likely a jabroni, and YOU are a jabroni for thinking your jabroni is the "next Josh Allen". Stop trying to copy Josh Allen!

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