User:Dr. Skullthumper/The Bible II

The Bible II is the official sequel to the national bestseller, The Bible. Most of the cast in the project has been abandoned, but the three main characters have remained. It had notably more difficulty gaining the popularity of the original, despite people across the globe demanding to see more of its most famous character, Jesus Christ.

Background[edit | edit source ]

The original book, The Holy Bible, was God's first attempt to write his autobiography. Unfortunately, he realized something rather important halfway through — the whole thing was rather boring. No one would care about his little antics as a deity unless they applied to someone. He ditched the original manuscript, got off his arse, and decided to do something vaguely interesting.

It took forty-eight tries, but eventually he managed to create a halfway decent Universe. He created a world and a human population on it, cared for them, and they cared for each other. It was a pleasant little utopian community, and God got straight on writing again.

Sadly, he realized that there still wouldn't be much of an audience. Where was the drama? The comedy? The wars and violence? Where were all the good bits, like plague and famine and people dying left and right? Again, he destroyed this new manuscript in frustration. He decided to create another world, one that was less happier and more entertaining. He cobbled something together in a week, stuck people on it, and murmured, "It's good."

To make the story more interesting, he regularly paid visits to the planet and scared the living daylights out of whatever people were around at the time. It was going well and he was finishing up when his teenage son, Jesus, decided to be annoyingly rebellious and sneak downstairs to see his father's work.

With one of his good friends, Gabriel, he made an entrance that none would forget, and became instantly popular through his ability to turn water into wine. He promoted peace and happiness, much to his father's annoyance, who was just getting to the good bits, where he would make everyone beg for mercy and end the world in a spectacular fashion. Still, there was some benefit to the whole worshiping and praising thing. With enough people yapping about his son and his works, God didn't have to self-publish. Eventually it became the bestseller he desired, despite its lack of a definite ending. Jesus was grounded for two millenniums.

Yet after those two millenniums, Jesus pointed out to his father that he wasn't as popular anymore. God decided it was naturally time for a sequel. After weeks of working on its title, he stuck a roman numeral in front of the original and decided that it, too, was good.

Plot differences[edit | edit source ]

This time with God's permission, Jesus descended back down to the planet in baby form.