Sue
"It's like the Amway™ of the 21st century."
~ Oscar Wilde on the power of suing
"This is like the lottery I put in every year. This is the best job I can find without filling out a résumé."
~ A. Kang on the power of suing
Trying to decide the best job for you and your future? Then you need to know the current trends in the job market. What are all "hot" future jobs, and what jobs are in decline?
The UN in joyous partnership with the Nigerian Department of Labour have recently released a research paper on Future Occupational Trends 2005-2015. Can you afford not to read it? Will you have the skills to prosper in a changing world?
Winds of Change[edit | edit source ]
Let's face it: It's more than pantywaisted song by the Scorpions , desperate to madly hang on to the shoelaces of a stumbling career. Without a doubt, Klaus Meine can sing, but he wasn't packing in the ladies even as a young man. And now this tripe? You, at least, can breathe a collective sigh of relief in knowing that your future prospects are much brighter. But the nature of employment is changing. So inhale, then proceed.
Working@Home[edit | edit source ]
By all accounts, downsizing/rightsizing/assfiring will continue to mean that ordinary schmucks like you will soon be leaving your prized corner cubicle behind and pondering the broken fragments of your life from the lint-balled arms of your father's hand-me-down La-Z-Boy armchair. For your convenience, here are the the fastest growing and best paying home businesses of the future:
- #6 ~ Phishing
- Your account has been temporarily deactivated as a security measure; please re-enter your login ID and password.
- #5 ~ Nigerian Money Scams by Email
- I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND 'TOP SECRET'.
- #4 ~ eBay Selling
- What colour is your star? I'm a PowerSeller!'
- #3 ~ Pharmacy Mail-Order Service
- Sorry, Canadian entrepreneurs only.
- #2 ~ "Massage Therapy"
- Low rates, call anytime...
A: They're despicable, illegal, and in at least one case (massage therapy) deceptive.
Q: But what is an honest person to do?
A: Embrace a time-honoured American tradition...
- #1 ~ ...
Litigation: The New Work at Home Paradigm[edit | edit source ]
With the US Supreme Court recently passing the landmark Freedom from Personal Responsibility Act, the doors have been thrown wide open on frivolous lawsuits of every shape and size.
Convicts Welcome[edit | edit source ]
While a criminal record may be a detriment to the path of good employment at a reputable firm, it is no barrier to raking in loads of dough as a home-based plaintiff.
- Sue homeowners for any material loss, damage, personal injury or loss of livelihood resulting from their attempt to thwart you in the process of burglarizing their home.
- Sue radio, television and print media for any embarrassment and humiliation you suffer in front of family, friends and the general public as a result of the publishing or broadcast of your name and likeness for alleged crimes without your written consent.
- ...?
Act of God • Bears and the law • Civil rights • Contempt of court • Copyright • Cruel and unusual punishment • Easement • Freedom of Expression • Gross Moral Turpitude • How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? • Human rights • Justice • Laws of Science Fiction • Legal contract • License • Liar • Obstructionism • Poetic justice • Policy debate • Public domain • Reasonable doubt • Regulation • Sovereign citizen • Sue • The defense rests, your honor • Thoughtcrime • Time Travel Patents • Unfair use
Allah's law • Bro Code • Code of Hammurabi • Constitution • Constitution of the United States • Constitution of the United States (actual text) • Girl Code • Godwin's law • Godwin's law's law • Godwins law • Gun control • Guy Code • Helge's Law • Jesus Laws • No More Room In Hell Act • Laws of Time Travel • Magna Carta v 5.0 • Murphy's Law • Patriot Act (football) • Pinky swear • Right to Arm Bears • Roberts' Rules of Order • Scots law • SOPA • Speed limit • Ten Commandments • Terms of Use (actual) • Newton's laws of motion • No Gaijin allowed • Three‑strikes law
Alternative legal systems • Attorney at Love • Barristers • Jury System • Law school • Lawyer • Legislation • Night Court • Police State • Sunset Advisory Commission • Superhero Relocation Program • Supreme Court of the United States • U.S. Reporting Agency
Federal Bureau of Investigation • Garda Síochána • Good cop, bad cop • Magical girl • Mutaween • Neighborhood Watch • Police officer • Private Eye
Butter v. toast • Cane v. Able • Chicago Seven • Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission • Cthulhu v. Japan • The Flood Trial • Judge Judy • Judge Reinhold • Ketchup v. Catsup • King Kong v. Godzilla • The Lorax • Moses • Pot v. Kettle • Raccoon Tail v. Super Mario Cape • Scopes Monkey Trial • Sheriff of Nottingham • Titshugger Penishead McFucknutter • Ug's Club v. Thog's Head • United States v. Cthulhu • Vader v. Vader • Wild Bill Hickok