User:Aleister/Alan Smithee

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Alan Smithee .
Actresses complain about one of Smithee's many directorial trademarks - his roving eyes.

One of the greatest movie directors in the history of film, Alan Smithee (also Allen Smithee) has directed more than 50 feature films in his 40+ year career. Known as "The director other directors never want to meet", Smithee churns out flop after flop and can never seem to land his name on a megahit.

Career[edit | edit source ]

Smithee's first job in the movie industry was at Warner Bros. where he worked as a tripod for the immortal William "One Shot" Beaudine on several of the wildly popular Torchy Blane films. From there he worked his way up to assistant gaffer at Monogram and, in 1955, got his first big break substituting for famed cinematographer Arnie Ellis II after he was mauled by a sloth on the set of Tarzan Beds Bonzo.

From there Smithee went on to direct so many dismal failures that his luck seemed to have run out when he was born. There was that one time that Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro tried making a film together, and although the big names of the two carried the pubicity, Smithee directed it so it was assured a one-week run. Francis Ford Coppola had planned to direct "Godfather III" but when he got to the set, Smithee had already made it. And when Lindsay Lohan pretended to be Elizabeth Taylor in a recent film, she insisted that Smithee direct.

Filmography[edit | edit source ]

External links[edit | edit source ]

Les epic visionaries
Pedro Almodóvar | Wes Anderson | Michelangelo Antonioni | Ingmar Bergman | Peter Bogdanovich | Robert Bresson | James Cameron | Charlie Chaplin | Coen Brothers | David Cronenberg | Clint Eastwood | Federico Fellini | Michael Haneke | Alfred Hitchcock | Abbas Kiarostami | Stanley Kubrick | Akira Kurosawa | Sergio Leone | Roman Polanski | Martin Scorsese | Steven Spielberg | Andrei Tarkovsky | Orson Welles
Less-epic visionaries
Michael Bay | Tim Burton | Ken Burns | John Carpenter | Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer | Mel Gibson | Tom Green | Spike Lee | Dolph Lundgren | Michael Moore | Leonard Nimoy | Guy Ritchie | George Romero | Joel Schumacher | M. Night Shyamalan | Billy Bob Thornton | Tommy Wiseau | John Woo | Ed Wood
Geniuses in France
Woody Allen | Darren Aronofsky | Mel Brooks | Sofia Coppola | Jean-Luc Godard | Jim Jarmusch | Charlie Kaufman | Jerry Lewis | David Lynch | Rob Schneider
Highly confusing in Japan
Terry Gilliam | Akira Kurosawa | Russ Meyer | Quentin Tarantino
Highly disturbing in Italy
Bernardo Butterlucci | Ruggero Deodato | Pier Paolo Pasolini
Highly violent in South Korea
Bong Joon-ho | Park Chan-wook
Shortly freaky in Vaudeville
Tod Browning
Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=User:Aleister/Alan_Smithee&oldid=6356319"