User talk:Xamralco

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DogNewspaper.jpg UnSignpost Home Delivery
Now Delivered Trendily Late!

awww shiiiiiiiiiiiit

u be back? say it be so... ~ Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 23:44, 31 August 2014 (UTC)

I think so. It's hard to say, but my life is slightly less chaotic now so I'll have more time to work on articles and such. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 00:35, 1 September 2014 (UTC)
I MISS YOU, BUT I BARELY KNOW YOU. PLEEEASSSEE COME BACK! I wrote this poem for youuuu!  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ? ฿¡฿↓¡ography 01:42 9.01.14

USP

Didn't you use to do it? Btw, it'd be awesome if you did!  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ? ฿¡฿↓¡ography 00:39 9.03.14

I've written like one or two I think. I'm still a little too busy to commit to writing them on a regular basis, but I'll see where I am in a few months. Maybe then. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 00:42, 3 September 2014 (UTC)
It's cool I did it from Jan 2013 to like summer 2013 then I disappeared for quite sometime until the beginning of August. Then Frosty did it. He was suppose to do last weeks but he's gayer than Christmas.  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ? ฿¡฿↓¡ography 00:44 9.03.14

OMG! A WILD USP IS ON THE LOOSE!

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!
7 September 2014 • Issue #207 • Archives • Press Room
Returning MASTERMINDS

By Sir Peasewhizz
Hi, My name is Sir Peasewhizz. Stop throwing tomatoes you assholes! STAHP! READER PLS. STAHP.

Okay, so what is really going on, you may say? 'I'm about to fucking tell you. Enjoy.

The legendary Xamralco, who pwns.

Did you know that every ten seconds: another ten seconds kicks in? Yeah, mind equals blown right now, eh? Did you know that the return of one legendary user triggers other legendary users to return as well? When Argylesocks returned from his previous state (not Blue Mountain), it only was a matter of time until the legend named MadMax returned from his couple-of-months-long sojourn in the wild country known as Ethiopia. MadMax does not steal the few supplies of food Ethiopia has, you sick fuck! HE HAS A SOUL.

For those who have heard of the legendary Xamralco, he has returned to. He is an admin and a fantastic writer. We love him. You love. YOU LOVE HIM.

Okay? Okay.

Now if anyone sees Dawg, slap him and tell him to come back. And for Olipro... gosh. I can't even.------------

Vote for highlights, you giant boner goblins.

By Sir Peasewhizz
Here is a random picture of a stack of gold. Craving it? Good.

We were once surpassing the votes per article goal of 10 not much longer than a week ago. SHAME! HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS DROP TO NEARLY 5 OUT OF 10?! EVERYBODY, HEADS DOWN!

When I say you can put your heads up, you will all go and vote on the feature nominations. Okay? And no laughing or detention!

Biopic For this edition of your favorite paper, the USP, we had the chance to get the Biopic for one of the biggest badasses to ever live. That person/thingy/chatter was auror, whom we found frolicking in our IRC channel one evening.

When we asked auror if she would like to be Biopic'ed (did I spell that right? SPELL CHECK PLS) she gave a powerful speech.

" no "


Thank you! Give it up for auror!

From The Logs

•00:54, September 1, 2014 Bizzeebeever (talk | contribs) blocked IlanaZkhfzm (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (user did not suck Leverage's cock as promised)
•16:02, August 31, 2014 Leverage (talk | contribs) blocked AleidaJbjo (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (sister did not suck my cock as promised)
•12:24, August 29, 2014 Kip the Dip (talk | contribs) blocked Electric Pope (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 7 centuries, 4 decades, 8 years, 364 days, 14 hours, 38 minutes and 24 seconds (Annoying douchebag.)

Top VFH Competitors

VFH Highlight Of The Week Psychedelic Rosie and Her Coat of Many Colors (9/0)

From The Forums

UnSignpost News The USP will be delivered on Sundays now. (or around then)

Chat Quote
[17:42] <ColinAYB> Kippy is forever topical

[17:42] <ColinAYB> Just like the lotion he uses when he takes it to the hub.

[17:46] <Kippy> You don't even need to see all the nudity to take it to the hub.

SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 03:27, 7 September 2014 (UTC)

Unsignpost delivery attempt numbr hideous implosion

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper That Won't Tell Everyone That You Wet the Bed! Oops...
14 September 2014 • Issue #208 • Archives • Press Room
Pee Review pls

By Sir Peasewhizz
Hi, My name is Sir Peasewhizz. Stop hurling babies at me! STAHP! READER PLS. STAHP.

It is days like these when I realize what a cruel world we live in. It seems that Pee Review has bitten the dust. For just a few minutes of your day (削除) and some cash (削除ここまで) you can help solve this crisis. Seriously, you hoes.

Piss on my review quests.

Olipro is gay.------------

Vote for highlights, you giant boner goblins.

By Sir Peasewhizz
Here is a random picture of a stack of gold. Craving it? Good.

We were once surpassing the votes per article goal of 10 not much longer than a week ago. SHAME! HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS DROP TO NEARLY 5 OUT OF 10?! EVERYBODY, HEADS DOWN!

When I say you can put your heads up, you will all go and vote on the feature nominations. Okay? And no laughing or detention!

Yes, I copied this from the last issue of the USP, you boner goblins. That picture of gold? That was also from the last issue, as well.

Uncyclopedia App

By Anton199

There has recently (a certain amount of time before the latest UnSignpost issue) been a lot of talk about creating an Uncyclopedia App as well as an Uncyclospecies. The idea consists in producing and selling the app which will transform all the human beings who use them into Uncyclopedians. The majority of the users (about 50% of those two who really participated) found this idea great (think that it is funny to talk about) and maybe even began working on it (asked someone else to think about it). Nothing else is known about them, as they disappeared soon after the first experiments were held.

The main problem this project has is that, in fact, nobody knows how to create an app. In addition to this, there is no money, as most of it was spent on Ferraris, that were supposed to bring more money but didn't. Finally, some people think that it might be harmful for the environment (nobody cares).

The project is currently being discussed (some users still post random spam on the forum) and with a certain probability the app is going to be created in nearby future (it is never going be to created but some people do think about it). Biopic Alas, an actual Biopic for SEPTEMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Today, the Biopic will be on a man who carries the identity, MrC. He was doing some hardcore crunches while he was surfing the IRC and thus we gained a little more info this is a run on sentence fuk yea murica.

His origin: "Some Uncyclopedians messed around in another channel recently. After hearing all the stories and rumors, I figured I'd like to see for myself."

So when we asked MrC if he could tell us how to get, how to get to Sesame Street, he said "I don't know... bribe Cookie Monster with a cookie?"

There you have it, words of wisdom BOOI!

From The Logs

•22:20, September 10, 2014 Bizzeebeever (talk | contribs) blocked LorrineLundy (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Orange is the new black. Welcome to Internet Jail, Lorrine.)
•22:14, September 10, 2014 Bizzeebeever (talk | contribs) blocked CharissSparrow (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Dude, your gay porn name is lame)
•22:12, September 10, 2014 Bizzeebeever (talk | contribs) blocked VictorForest (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Eat my crotch-forest, Victor.)

Top VFH Competitors

VFH Highlight Of The Week Shirley Phelps-Roper (9/0)

From The Forums

UnSignpost News Hi. This is a lazy edition of the UnSignpost.

Chat Quote
[21:46] Star651 has quit (Quit: Page closed)

[21:46] SirPeasewhizz: NOOOOO

[21:46] SirPeasewhziz: BAE

Could you use Special:MassMessage and deliver the USP?

The latest USP is Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/20140921 and Special:MassMessage is for admins only. Which if you want you can look at this sometime if you have time to spare. Thanks again!

 Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ? ฿¡฿↓¡ography 02:02 9.21.14

What should the subject be? --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 02:05, 21 September 2014 (UTC)
Just come up with something witty like "I'm gonna shove it down your throat."  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ? ฿¡฿↓¡ography 02:07 9.21.14
Done. I didn't come up with anything witty. I just like GoT. ;) --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 02:13, 21 September 2014 (UTC)
I hope GoT doesn't mean "got off though". *shivers*  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ? ฿¡฿↓¡ography 02:17 9.21.14

Brace Yourselves, The UnSignpost is Coming!

The UnSignpost
I love it when the news comes together
21 September 2014 • Issue #209 • Archives • Press Room
IMPERIAL COLONIZATION OR NAH? By Sir Peasewhizz

Previously, in the past, Uncyclopedia has done a project called Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization, which (削除) mimics (削除ここまで) is a battle against crap-quality articles. We recently have finished the colonization of Albert Einstein, because fuck we didn't need a good article on him before amiright?

Anyways I'm telling you this because it would be soooo sweet if we could get this running again... and I kinda need Xamralco or any other admin to combine histories again because I just found out I shouldn't have moved the project myself...------------

Vote for highlights, you giant boner goblins. (third issue in a row)

By Sir Peasewhizz
Here is a random picture of a stack of gold. Craving it? Good.

We were once surpassing the votes per article goal of 10 not much longer than a week ago. SHAME! HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS DROP TO NEARLY 5 OUT OF 10?! EVERYBODY, HEADS DOWN!

When I say you can put your heads up, you will all go and vote on the feature nominations. Okay? And no laughing or detention!

Wow a third week of using the same entry in a row? GEEZ.

Biopic Nahhh. I don't really feel like it!

From The Logs

•13:13, September 17, 2014 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) blocked WolfganKix (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Wolfgan's arse is going to get Kix if he doesn't stop making accounts here.)
•13:12, September 17, 2014 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) blocked JanetteMelton (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (You brought your girlfriend with you? How sweet. She can fuck off too once she's tossed me off.)
•13:11, September 17, 2014 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) blocked AndreBecker (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (OMG A SPAMBOT! I've missed seeing you around man. Where you been these past few days? It's been so emotional. Okay, emotional reunion is over. Now fuck off.)

Top VFH Competitors

•Antibiotics (9/0)
•Firesheep (8/0)

VFH Highlight Of The Week Ludwig Wittgenstein (9/0)

From The Forums

UnSignpost News Please VFH, Colonize, etc.

Chat Quote
[15:07] bakpak2hvy is edible.

[15:07] TheFakeazneD525 chews on bakpak2hvy

Hey Xam xam

Chicken or go? --Shabi DOO 21:49, 22 September 2014 (UTC)

Alpaca. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:51, 22 September 2014 (UTC)
Huzzah? --Shabi DOO 22:21, 22 September 2014 (UTC)
Hoopla! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 22:58, 22 September 2014 (UTC)
  1. @@#@#@#### ¿ --Shabi DOO 23:47, 22 September 2014 (UTC)

Hello there

My fellow featurer. I am trying to generate a more intelligent Recently Featured list using the DPL from Uncyclopedia:VFH/Featured. I have hit a wall here, in my playpit. Any idea if we can get the DPL to show the article name and not the Vfh link? And anyway we can get it to hide the 0 article? Leverage (talk) 06:45, 23 September 2014 (UTC)

I'm not too good at this coding stuff. I've been trying to teach myself Java and improve on my programming skills, but so far I've basically just memorized what I'm supposed to do to feature an article. I'm not sure if I could be such a big help but I'll take a look at it. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 20:55, 23 September 2014 (UTC)
I checked it out but I can't seem to figure out how to hide the Vfh link. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:03, 23 September 2014 (UTC)

Antibiotics

Thank you for voting

Thank you for checking your biotic privilege, flesh pocket, by voting to publicize the cause of the enlightened Antibiotics. We shall soon be free of the shackles and Javascript the human uses to bind us. --Nikau (talk) 15:53, 23 September 2014 (UTC)

Sydney VFH

Can you close the nom, I want to work on the end parts more to make it more consistent.--Nikau (talk) 17:14, 23 September 2014 (UTC)

Sure thing. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 20:52, 23 September 2014 (UTC)

ha ha

Looks like everyone else is doing my work for me with the categorizing.--Nikau (talk) 16:38, 25 September 2014 (UTC)

I think it's a great idea and I know nobody's going to be able to do it alone. We're all in this together! *Cue High School Musical soundtrack* --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 16:57, 25 September 2014 (UTC)
We've got so many quality articles and so few users now. Bleh when did this all happen? The split kind of annihilated the place. --Nikau (talk) 17:26, 25 September 2014 (UTC)
Yeah, it's weird. I left before the split because of real life stuff, and after I got everything under control, I returned to find almost everyone had left. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 18:01, 25 September 2014 (UTC)
Hmm, its reached the point where no one seems to be doing anything much community like. I'd like to pee review both Intercontinental ballistic football and Sydney before I go VFH again, but it isn't happening. Can you close the Intercontinental ballistic football VFH nomination? I had fun reading all the new stuff way back when, but it just isn't fun when there's a trickle of new stuff each day that I can read in a few minutes, if that. You're writing some good stuff, but you're pretty much literally the only other person writing now. I hoped Gerry would return but he's gone AWOL right now. I'm content brushing up some other people's good articles and seeing them featured in the meantime. --Nikau (talk) 19:16, 25 September 2014 (UTC)
I removed the nomination, and yeah, I know what you mean. I'm in the middle of a few different articles right now, which I'm balancing with real life stuff. I'm hoping to finish up Lil Wayne, Pseudo-intellectual bullshit, Zachary Taylor, and Goosebumps by the end of October and get some new stuff onto the site. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 19:46, 25 September 2014 (UTC)

USP deliverance maybe

Could you do it again? Haha  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ? ฿¡฿↓¡ography 22:49 9.27.14

Done. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 22:57, 27 September 2014 (UTC)
Thanks!!  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ? ฿¡฿↓¡ography 23:03 9.27.14
No problem. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 00:54, 28 September 2014 (UTC)

The USP is coming for you! (and your little dog too)

The UnSignpost
The periodical without any junk in its trunk!
28 September 2014 • Issue #210 • Archives • Press Room
Incoming October bullshit

By Sir Peasewhizz
So apparently, October follows September. As we all know, Halloween follows September. This means that I get to make a suggestion, amirite?

So I was thinking long and hard one day (which was literally five minutes not twenty-four hours) about something cool we could do for Halloween this year. No, I don't mean egg your neighbor's house... I was thinking maybe we could feature something on Halloween?

Okay yes, I know this is something we basically do every year, and I know you are reading this preparing to accuse me of filling space... and you'd be right.

Biopic Nahhh. I don't really feel like it!

From The Logs

•12:34, September 25, 2014 Colin "All your base" Heaney (talk | contribs) blocked Banzaikitten (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 hour and 9 minutes (You're like the Grinch, except it's your cock that's three sizes too small.)
•14:35, September 24, 2014 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) blocked 173.213.80.213 (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Your free trial of Uncyclopedia has expired.)
•07:05, September 24, 2014 Leverage (talk | contribs) blocked JessieTedesco (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (fuck Jessie Tedesco, he gets his clothes from Tecso)

Top VFH Competitors

•Firesheep (9/1)

VFH Highlight Of The Week UnNews:Obama to outline IS strategy after consulting Stonehenge gods (10/0)

From The Forums

UnSignpost News Please VFH, Colonize, etc.

Chat Quote
<ColinAYB> Actually his lips did sink ships

<ColinAYB> In the sense that he sucked e

You haven't reached your quota of featured articles per year Xamralco...

Dance the mash bro!

...this place will inspire you. I hope you participate man...youz a good writer. Last Year's was fun. First come first serve. --Shabi DOO 03:01, 29 September 2014 (UTC)

Count me in! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 03:18, 29 September 2014 (UTC)
Competition starts NOW! You have a week. Go here to pick your topic.
Hey. Extending the competition by three days (giving you over three and a half days to get an article ready). :) --Shabi DOO 08:00, 8 October 2014 (UTC)
Yay! Thank you! The extra time in much needed. :) --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:21, 8 October 2014 (UTC)
Time to [[1]]. --Shabi DOO 06:20, 12 October 2014 (UTC)

Could you deliver the USP

Sorry its a hassle haha. Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/20141005  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ? ฿¡฿↓¡ography 23:29 10.04.14

I did it for the Vine. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 23:35, 4 October 2014 (UTC)
Thanks haha! I wrote an article about Vine, and it was really short. I guess its short like Vine. I much prefer things such as Three Days Grace, Queen Anne's Revenge, Uncyclopedia:You don't need to cite that my dick is big, and Uncyclopedia:Likely to be challenged.  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ? ฿¡฿↓¡ography 23:39 10.04.14
My dick is big too. Let's be friends. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 00:38, 5 October 2014 (UTC)
Let's shake hands. Wait, on better thought, let's not. I need my hand to coil my dick around like a hose. #bigdickprobs.  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ? ฿¡฿↓¡ography 00:58 10.05.14

Excuse me, sir, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, the USP?

The UnSignpost
The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Periodical Of All Time!
5 October • Issue #211 • Archives • Press Room
Uncyclopedia's preparations for Ebola By Sir Peasewhizz
Gross.
As we all know, a Texan man has brought the Ebola virus to the United States of America. And as country, we are all freaking out. Even Obama, who never freaks out, has freaked out. He now refuses to kiss Michelle because he has become a germophobe.

Anywho, we here at Uncyclopedia have determined that Ebola can be avoided by simple measures. We encourage everyone to wash their hands, especially after ferocious masturbation. Remember kids, diseases come for hookers. So stay away from hookers as well.

Biopic Nahhh. I don't really feel like it again!

From The Logs

•12:34, September 25, 2014 Leverage (talk | contribs) blocked 178.137.80.72 (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (dickery)
•15:07, September 28, 2014 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) blocked 23.231.7.217 (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (The Maitri Inthusut has ordered us to block editing permanently for all residents of the Phuket Province.)
•13:39, September 28, 2014 Leverage (talk | contribs) blocked Leanna Hollway (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (she wouldn't go the "holl way" with me)

Top VFH Competitors

•Bluestocking (8/1)
•Aries (6/0)

VFH Highlight Of The Week Firesheep (10/1)

From The Forums

UnSignpost News Shabidoo's competition has begun.

Chat Quote
<Denza252> ephemey: am i trololololololing?

I think I completed Albert Einstein wrong

For Imperial Colonization, I never kept the project history or something. I don't know what but something isn't right.  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ? ฿¡฿↓¡ography 10:36 10.08.14

It seems fine to me but I might be missing something. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:22, 8 October 2014 (UTC)
maybe the project page (where it was made) isn't right. I dunno.  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ? ฿¡฿↓¡ography 22:24 10.11.14

Aww snap aww snap. Come join our macaroni party and we'll take a nap.

Can you join the IRC network real quick?  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ? ฿¡฿↓¡ography 22:22 10.11.14

Category:FA People

I just want to have a list of every featured article about a real person readable in one list and then to subdivide them into the other categories (athlete etc). Putting FA People on all people articles seems to be the easiest way of keeping that single list. --Nikau (talk) 02:13, 13 October 2014 (UTC)

Oh, I see. That makes sense. I thought since the category was so big, it would be easier to subdivide people, but I get that. I'll readd the ones I removed. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 03:35, 13 October 2014 (UTC)

The best non-loser

Since we were all losers (participating in the competition) you are the least-loser. Your article was clearly the most non-loser. Well done non-loser! Great article. It deserved to non-lose!!!! I'll be more than happy to nominate it for VFH! Thanks for making us laugh. --Shabi DOO 15:45, 13 October 2014 (UTC)

Thank you, although I'm pretty sure I'm still a loser. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 16:28, 13 October 2014 (UTC)

Yes

I am. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 16:39, Oct 13

Good. My purpose in life is to please the masses... and my master. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 16:41, 13 October 2014 (UTC)
You seem like a good sort. My advice is to allow that state of affairs to continue. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 16:47, Oct 13
Do I really have a choice? --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 16:50, 13 October 2014 (UTC)
All choice is ultimately an illusion. However, sometimes the right one leads to the illusion of cake, so at least it's not futile. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 16:54, Oct 13
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