< Scratch Wiki:April Fools

Rage icon.png This is an April Fools' version of Scratch Design Studio. Please don't take it seriously.

You can find the original here.

Kumquat.jpg Everyone in the entire multiverse hates this article (including kaj and kumquats), so it will be eaten by an evil kumquat in the next π goboseconds. You cannot do anything to stop the kumquat from eating the page. If you do, the evil kumquat will eat you, too. Also, please do not edit this page, as that will cause a flame war to start.
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The Scratch Design Studio (Commonly abbreviated as SDS and jokingly called Soopa Dumb Studio) is a useless waste of bandwidth that creates random low quality projects and occasionally updates the look of the Scratch website. They make the website very hard to use and are criticized frequently. The SDS Curators suck at their job but still get paid for their effortless efforts. They work in a dusty old warehouse consisting of makeshift offices stacked on top of each other, scattered porta-potties, roaming cats and a single break room.

Their lazily-done logo that's literally just a copy of something else.

Why the Scratch Team made them

The Scratch Team is lazy, and hate using computers. They usually get other people to do the work for them, which lead to them creating the Scratch Design Studio. With a budget of 823 cents, the site gradually became harder to use thanks to the efforts of the SDS curators doing the work the Scratch Team should have been doing.

Why nobody likes them

  • They use 856.3 Petabytes of bandwidth per picosecond [1]
  • Their website redesigns make it reealyTM hard to use the site
  • The projects produce less energy cells than your Pentium II from 1997 [2]
  • They waste 37 hours a day playing Raid Shadow Legends [3]
  • Their computers suck
  • Their cars are cheap 1990s sedans with no air conditioning [4]
  • The studio they work in is full of empty Sprite cans and Doritos packets
  • The break room fridge is usually full or non-functional meaning your lunch can't be kept at -350 degrees Celsius (-598 degrees Farenheit)
  • They don't listen to community feedback
  • They do listen to community feedback but interpret in the worst ways possible [5]
  • They're obsessed with the 90s
  • They play very bad music that can be heard up to 314 kilometers away.

Quotes from workers

" They pay us way too much to play games and ruin the site "

― Joe, Jraphic Designer

" I enjoyed making it harder for others to use the paint editor "

― Billy, Programmer and maker of the Pain Editor

" Who ate my subway? "

― Rachel, The other programmer

" It was I, DIO! "

― Dio Brando, Sussy Impostor

[6]

Rreeforencesz

  1. ↑ The servers can handle it because the Scratch Team spent way too much on the servers and went into debt which they paid off with l33t h@x
  2. ↑ Eww, Pentium, gross
  3. ↑ Sponsored by TotallyNotTheScratchTeamHackingMalware VPN
  4. ↑ Ye ol' Toyota
  5. ↑ As seen in the 1993 "I thought they wanted raining ostrich eggs" documentary
  6. ↑ hEy Is ThAt A jOjO rEfErEnCe
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