Taffy
Taffy was a Viking,
Taffy was a thief.
Taffy came to my house
And stole a butt of mead.
Taffy was a Viking,
Taffy had a sword.
Taffy had a battering ram,
and broke in my front door.
Taffy was a Viking,
Taffy didn't care.
He stole all that was not nailed down,
He tried to steal the air.
Taffy was a Viking
with lengthy yellow braids.
He stole the gold out of my teeth
on last September's raid.
Taffy was a Viking,
strong and proud and true.
Taffy stole my Christmas tree,
and stuffed it up the flue.
Taffy was a Viking,
Taffy had a heart.
He stole it from old Doctor Grunt
who lived close by the park.
He also stole a skeleton
and fifty vials of pills,
He liked to have some spare bones
and cures for all his ills.
Taffy was a Viking,
Taffy had a head.
In truth it was a lovely thing,
he kept it in a jar.
He stole it from the headsman
who seemed to have a spare.
Taffy stole my horse and cart,
Taffy stole my geese.
When I had a summer cold,
Taffy stole my sneeze.
Taffy was a Viking,
Taffy was a thief.
'Cause when you are a Viking,
You do just as you please.
Taffy was an alley cat,
Taffy was a mouse.
This morning Taffy chased himself
all around the house.
Taffy was a pack of cards,
Taffy was a goose.
Taffy could play solitaire
while dreaming of a moose.[1]
Taffy was a purple worm,
Taffy was a barsk.
Taffy came to my house,
and -- wait, what do you mean, "what's a barsk"?
[2]
Taffy was a four-in-hand,
With buttons on the sleeves.[3]
He went to visit Bertie
while being worn by Jeeves.
Taffy was a piece of cheese,
Taffy was a plum.
Taffy marched in a parade,
hidden in a drum.
The drummer got so hot and tired,
he had to take a rest.
Quothe he as he sat and munched,
"That Taffy was the best!" (Yum.)