Give not your strength to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings.
strength
Proverbs 5:9-11 Lest thou give thine honour unto others, and thy years unto the cruel: …
Proverbs 7:26,27 For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her…
Hosea 4:11 Whoredom and wine and new wine take away the heart.
to that
Deuteronomy 17:17 Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his heart turn not away: neither shall he greatly multiply to himself silver and gold.
Nehemiah 13:26 Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? yet among many nations was there no king like him, who was beloved of his God, and God made him king over all Israel: nevertheless even him did outlandish women cause to sin.
or your vigor on those who ruin kings
This part of the verse highlights the potential for personal relationships to lead to the downfall of leaders. Historically, many kings in the Bible, such as David and Solomon, faced significant challenges due to their relationships with women. The phrase serves as a cautionary reminder of the destructive power of such entanglements. It also reflects the broader biblical theme of the importance of wise and godly leadership, as seen in Deuteronomy 17:17, where kings are advised not to take many wives, lest their hearts be led astray. The warning is prophetic in nature, as it anticipates the consequences of ignoring divine wisdom, and it points to the need for leaders to seek strength and guidance from God rather than from worldly pleasures.
“Do not spend your strength on women” (Proverbs 31:3a) is a mother’s caution to her royal son. She knows a leader’s energy is limited and precious, and sexual excess drains body, mind, and spirit.
• Scripture warns that immoral relationships sap vitality—Proverbs 5:8-11 pictures a man whose “strength” and “years” are given to a stranger, and Proverbs 6:26 says an adulteress “preys upon your precious life.”
• Samson’s downfall began when he “loved a woman in the Valley of Sorek” (Judges 16:4-21); his supernatural strength departed when he yielded to Delilah’s seduction.
• Solomon’s “wives turned his heart after other gods” (1 Kings 11:1-4), diverting the vigor he once used for God’s glory.
• David’s lapse with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11) illustrates how a single evening of misplaced passion led to cascading personal and national consequences.
The verse is not condemning marriage or godly romance. It targets uncontrolled lust, repeated affairs, and the entanglements that follow. A wise man channels his strength toward righteous purposes: faithful covenant love (Ephesians 5:25-28), productive work (Proverbs 14:23), and service to God’s kingdom (Matthew 6:33).
“Nor your vigor on those who ruin kings” (Proverbs 31:3b) widens the warning. Certain companions—male or female—undermine rulers through flattery, manipulation, and immoral influence.
• Proverbs 14:34 teaches, “Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to any people.” Sin-promoting relationships cripple leadership.
• Wicked advisers ruined King Ahaziah (2 Chronicles 22:3-4), and Haman nearly destroyed Persia’s Jews by misleading King Xerxes (Esther 3).
• Rehoboam listened to reckless friends and “did not listen to the people,” splitting the kingdom (1 Kings 12:8-16).
• Proverbs 13:20 sums it up: “He who walks with the wise will become wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.”
The term “ruin” points to moral sabotage. When a leader gives his best energy to ungodly influencers, he invites disaster. Instead, he must guard his heart (Proverbs 4:23) and surround himself with God-fearing counselors (Proverbs 11:14).
Proverbs 31:3 urges stewarding strength and influence with holy caution. Passion and relationships are gifts, yet unchecked desire and destructive companions drain power, cloud judgment, and topple even the mightiest. Wisdom directs our vigor toward faithful love, righteous counsel, and wholehearted devotion to the Lord, ensuring our lives—and any leadership we hold—honor the King of kings.
(3) Nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.--A slight change in the punctuation will give a better sense, "to those that destroy kings," i.e., women. Give not thy life to dissipation at their bidding. (Comp. Proverbs 6:24, sqq.; 1Kings 11:1).Verse 3. - Exhortation to chastity. Give not thy strength unto women (comp. Proverbs 5:9). Chayil is "vigour," the bodily powers, which are sapped and enervated by sensuality. The Septuagint has σὸν πλοῦτον; the Vulgate, substantiam tuam; but the prayerful, anxious mother would consider rather her son's personal well being than his worldly circumstances, which, indeed, an Eastern monarch's licentiousness would not necessarily impair. Nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings; or, with a slight alteration in the punctuation (and an improved parallelism), to them that destroy kings; "expugnatricibus regum," as Schultens terms them. Women are meant; and the prince is enjoined not to surrender his life, conduct, and actions to the influence of women, who, both by the dissipation and sensuality which they occasion, and the quarrels which they provoke, and the evil counsels which they give, often ruin kings and states (see the injunction, Deuteronomy 17:11). The Vulgate rendering, ad delendos reges, looks as if the warning was against making wars of conquest against neighbouring kings; but this is not a satisfactory parallel to the former clause. Septuagint, "Give not thy wealth unto women, nor thy mind, nor thy life unto remorse (ὑστεροβολίαν). Do all things with counsel; drink wine with counsel." This seems to belong to the next verse.