SCP-????-J's Box's Extended Log

SCP-????-J » SCP-????-J's Box's Extended Log

Collaborative Log for Whatever Shows Up On The Box

rating: +166

NOTE TO ALL RESEARCH STAFF

All locking mechanisms related to the opening of SCP-????-J's container must be properly logged here. The following format must be utilized:

Name:
Date:

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:

Name: J.R. T██████ Lees
Date: 26/10/2017

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Trivia Test	Must answer correctly at least 7 of 10 questions on a variety of pop culture topics	Completed after three tries

Name: Advanced AI-NCD
Date: 21/11/2017

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Wheel of Fortune	Must spin the wheel and try to complete the given phrases correctly	CONGRATULATIONS, YOU WON ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

Name: Y. P. L███████
Date: 29/11/2017

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Memetic Agents	Five extremely powerful antimemetic agents covering a button, which must be pressed	Incompleteish(?)

Name: Dr. Brim
Date: 30/11/2017

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Solar System Trivia	Must name all of the planets in the solar system	Completed by Dr. ███████

Name: Dr. I█████
Date: 2/12/2017

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Verbal Statement	Must confess a sincere love of Jar Jar Binks	Completed by Junior Researcher █████████

Name: Advanced AI-NCD
Date: 5/12/2017

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Computer Test	Must document an anomaly to the Foundation wiki via computer and have it survive voting processes	Incomplete

Name: Dr. Brim
Date: 6/12/2017

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Cola flight	A tray containing five glasses of pop, similar in color and taste to [REDACTED] cola. Lock disengages when the brand of sodas presented is correctly guessed by taster	Incomplete

Name: Dr. Niblic
Date: 7/7/2017

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Tongue Twister	Must say a tongue twister without any mispronunciations. Any vocalizations made by the speaker are telepathically repeated to them after a 0.5-second delay	Complete
Broken Finger	A completion bar increases for every finger broken by a resident of Dedoroto, Arizona.	Complete
Spin	Must spin for 10 minutes with arms outstretched	Complete
Garden Gnome	Box dispenses a garden gnome every 24 hours. Mechanism relocks itself if a garden gnome is removed from the containment chamber or is facing away from the box	Complete, ongoing

Name: Dr. Edison
Date: 7/8/2017

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Crowbox	Disengaging mechanism is inside wooden box that must be opened with a specialized crowbar. Proprietary crowbar is also inside the box	Incomplete
Atlas Shrugged	A copy of the book Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. The book must be read in a single sitting	No survivors
Atlas Rug	Box must be placed on an area rug depicting Earth's geographical configuration.	Complete
Don't touch me!	A red button that expresses annoyance when pushed. To unlock, subject must not touch the button, but must instead hold his finger above the button and say "I'm not touching you!" for 15 minutes	Completed
[DATA EXPUNGED]	To disengage the lock, a subject who is of Welsh decent must perform a two-man version of William Shakespeare's Macbeth with the help of a trained Grizzly Bear no more than 12 years of age, while simultaneously gargling Listerine-brand mouthwash on a prime-numbered day of the month during an ongoing containment breach of SCP-████, but only when it is an overcast in Phoenix, Arizona unless Dr. Alto Clef is within 6 feet of a beagle wearing a "Groucho Marx disguise"	Completed by accident

Name: Advanced AI-NCD
Date: 11/8/2017

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
SCP-789-J	Must interact with SCP-789-J	See Footnote 11

Name: Dr. Brim
Date: 9/12/2017

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
A tin of Altoids	Dr. Clef must consume an entire tin of Altoids in one sitting	Complete, no survivors

Name: Dr. Izza
Date: 01/01/2018

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
"Always look on the bright side of life" by Eric Idle	"Always look on the bright side of life" will be played for 10 hours without pause	Attempted. Result: Incomplete
Dynamite	Two kilograms of TNT dynamite will be lit on fire with one lighter	No survivors
SCP-666-J	Dr. Gerald will drive a bicycle near the box	No survivors, with the exception of Dr. Gerald
SCP-001-J	SCP-001-J will be pushed	Incomplete

Name: Y. P. L███████
Date: 8/01/2018

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Miniature SCP-2719	Use SCP-2719 to go inside something	Completed

Name: Dr. Walker
Date: 8/08/18

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Limes	Five limes dispense from a hole in the box, along with a note reading "would u[sic] kindly go suck a lime"	Completed
Apple seeds	Roughly eighty (80) tonnes of apple seeds exuded from SCP-????-J's container	No solution found
Cannonloupe	Box armed itself with a cannon capable of firing cantaloupes at high velocity. Lock disengaged upon successfully reaching the box without a concussion.	Complete

Name: Dr. Spooks
Date: 02/01/20

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Sports	12 personnel are to play any sport they may prefer for five hours without pause.	Completed

Name: Y. P. L███████
Date: 22/8/2019

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
SCP Joke	One researcher must tell a joke involving an SCP to a wall-mounted face	Complete

Name: Dr. Westrin
Date: 18/12/17

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
List all known XK scenarios	Subject was required to list every single XK scenario that the Foundation has documented.	Completed

Name: Dr. Henry
Date: 01/08/18

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Hippocratic Chicken	Perform one surgery and completely fail to uphold the Hippocratic oath while succeeding	Completed

Name: Dr. Doctor
Date: 06/04/18

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Practical Joke	A thumbtack was dispensed from SCP-????-J's container. Subject must place thumbtack on any O5's chair.	Not Completed
Super Mario Odyssey Jump Rope	SCP-????-J's box dispensed a Nintendo Switch, pre-loaded with Super Mario Odyssey. Subject had to attain a score of at least 300 on the "Jump-Rope Challenge" without cheating.	Theoretically impossible

Name: Dr. L██████
Date: 17/09/18

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Bait	Subject was required to write and present SCP-????-J's box with an informative essay about ●くろまる●くろまる\|●くろまる●くろまる●くろまる●くろまる●くろまる\|●くろまる●くろまる\|●くろまる	Incomplete. 17 Casualties so far.

Name: Doctor Methusela
Date: 1-18-2009

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Oral	Researcher Benjamin Lyleton must explain Memetics via a presentation that is greater than or equal to the length of Doctor Sort's dissertation on the subject. Lyleton stood up in front of an auditorium of on-site staff, picked up a mic, and proceeded to go on a six-hour tirade on how, really, memetics is all about comprehension and meaning, supplemented with a total of 58 PowerPoint slides	Lock opened after the first five minutes. Lyleton immediately placed on disciplinary leave pending charges of cruel and unusual treatment of live subjects.

Namesplapped: Dr. Spanko
Dateydate: Cack

Lockspang Type:	Explainerate:	Noots:
Stranglefruit Consumption	Stranglefruit for mouthstuffs, elaborate on Kentucky? Cack! Galpitate the string-wing and cease. Profound appeasement to gargle bare o' square!	Shallforth happenated.

Name: Dr. C. Rystlon
Date: 1/7/2013

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Reverse Lock	Lock is unlocked while at least one other lock is locked. Lock locks when all other locks are unlocked.	Incomplete
Pay to Unlock	1,000,000,000ドル.04 US dollars are to be deposited into a slot on the box.	Incomplete. Money has been deposited into the box, but it has not unlocked.
Button	Pressing button created another box around the original box, complete with other locking mechanisms.	Fuck.

Name: Dr. A. Dero
Date: 1/7/2018

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
MEEP MEEP	Lock is unlocked when a subject is shown the entire first season of The Road Runner Show without laughing.	Completed

Name: Dr. Regn
Date: 2/2/1019

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Solid Reasoning	The Box requires a 5,000-word essay on why the Foundation feels they need to open it, as well as what they would do with what they found inside. Said essay must comply with the guidelines established in MLA Style Manual and Guide to Scholarly Publishing, second edition (1998).	Complete
The Impossible Campaign	The Box will dispense an oaken table and three chairs, as well as a complete collection of Gary Gygax’s Dungeons & Dragons First Edition. A party of three players must complete the campaign Tomb of Horrors using level two characters. The game is run by The Box.	Theoretically Possible, Incomplete

Name: Dr. Shelster
Date: 4/26/2019

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Hit Those Notes	Perform the song "Take On Me" by a-ha and sing all of the notes correctly	Complete

Name Dr. Aiden
Date 5/8/19

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
How many fingers?	Temporarily blinds you and then asks you "How many fingers am I holding up?"	Complete

Name Researcher Toast
Date 5/21/19

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Truth or Dare?	If answer is "Truth", you will be asked "Who do you like?" If answer is "Dare", you will be told "I dare you to tell me who you like"	After 13 attempts from staff and D-Class personnel, this has been marked as impossible.

Name: Dr. Quincy S. Pook
Date: 3/2/2020

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Kahoot	The Box will dispense 8 Samsung Galaxy J3 Eclipse's and a monitor will show the starting screen for a standard, 20 question Kahoot game about SCP attributes. However, the participants must have a school-appropriate username.	Completed
Star Wars	A monitor on the side of the box will play Star Wars Episodes 1-9, Rogue One, Solo, The Mandalorian, every season of Star vs The Forces of Evil, and Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2004). The participant must watch all aforementioned media in one sitting.	Completed

Name: Dr. Oekn
Date: 4/13/2020

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
D.D.R.	The Box will manifest a Dance Dance Revolution dance board and participant score a perfect on PSMO with no assistance	Theoretically possible, Incomplete
Good Day	Box produced a slip of paper that instructed Dr. Oekn to "have a nice day"	Incomplete
Geography	Must correctly list all 50 states in the United States of America	Completed by Dr. ████████ via song

Name: Junior Researcher Mattiews
Date: 4/24/2020

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Lost Rivers	Survive listening to Lost Rivers played at 168dB for 2 hours	Completed.

Name: Dr. "K"
Date: 17/5/2020

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
A rock and a keyboard	Type a detailed description of a rock.	Incompl
Fuck you	An unmarked red button that, when activated, resets all previously completed locking mechanisms through various anomalous means.	Completed…?

Name: Junior Researcher Philip Researcher Bertha
Date: 7/14/2020

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Cool Math Time	A calculator is dispensed from the box, and a keypad develops on its front side. Solve the equation "9 + 10" using the provided equipment.	Completed after 1 casualty.

Name: Dr. Pepper
Date: 8/21/2020

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Verbal Statement	Dictate to the box the reason why the Chicken crossed the road.	Incomplete; Research Ongoing.

Name: Researcher Hayden
Date: 12/15/20

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Die Button	D-43829 was ordered to press the button	Subject died when a hand extended from the box and choked him to death.

Name: Dr. Calhoun
Date: 1/13/21

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Have a Gamer Moment	A microphone along with a controller belonging to an unknown gaming console dispensed from an opening in the box. D-67834 was ordered to shout expletives and insults over a microphone, along with a proclamation that he had fornicated with another player's mother.	Completed, however, D-67834 reported hearing his insults said back to him in his voice.

Name: Dr. Oekn
Date: 1/18/2021

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Bonk	A wooden mallet will manifest, and strike the subject on the top of the head, while a cartoon "Bonk" noise plays.	Completed

Name: Dr. Ser Bokal
Date: 2/2/2021

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Nations	Subject must sing God Save the Queen to the tune of the State Anthem of the Russian Federation in a truly accurate French accent while wearing traditional Ghanaian clothing. Can only be done while bagpipes and an accordion play in the background to the tune of the Brazilian National Anthem while the box and subject is in Pyongyang, North Korea. The singer must be holding the National Flag of the People's Republic of China the entire time. A note attached to the lock claims that the consumption of saganaki beforehand will "make everything go faster", though it does not specify how.	Incomplete. Theoretically possible, but nobody has had the energy to keep track of it all at the same time without getting extremely confused.

Name: Dr. Boots
Date: 5/20/2021

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Jumping Jacks	Subject must do 500 jumping jacks without any breaks.	Complete
Impossible Fight	Everyone in the same room as SCP-????-J's box must fight an exact replica of themselves and win.	Impossible
Paradox	Subject was asked the question "Is your answer to this question any form of no?"	Incomplete

Name: Dr. Kelp
Date: 18/06/2021

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Scary Movie Marathon	A chair and CRT television extended from the left side of The Box along with a collection of 50's Horror movies totaling 10 hours in length.	Pending Ethics Committee review

Name: Dr. Pine
Date: 01/09/2021

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
"Scary Movie" Marathon	A chair and LCD television extended from the left side of The Box along with a box containing every movie in the "Scary Movie" film series totaling 7 hours and 5 minutes in length.	Incomplete

Name: Dr. Fir
Date: 04/09/2021

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
"Scarry" Movie Marathon	A chair and 4K HDR television extended from the left side of The Box along with an office wastebasket containing a number of nonexistent direct-to-DVD feature-length adaptations of Richard Scarry children's books, totaling 17 hours 28 minutes in length.	Complete

Name: Dr. West
Date: 09/13/2021

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Hug	Subject was asked to give the box a hug.	Completed

Name: Dr. ArchAngel
Date: 11/9/2021

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Guitar Hero	An LCD screen and a controller from the Guitar Hero video game franchise appear. The screen displays the game Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock on the main title screen. After scrolling through the menu (occasionally making mistakes or "misclicks"), it eventually settles on the song "Through The Fire And The Flames" on Expert difficulty. Subject must complete the song on this difficulty without missing a single note.	Completed after five hours of play.

Name: Jr. Researcher Graff
Date: 4/8/2022

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Browser History Search	Read out loud your search history from the past week. If your browsing history is deemed "clean" by the lock the lock will be unlocked.	Incomplete
WORLD RECORD BREAKER	Break the world record for stages completed in scratch knife hit.	Completed
Lock-pick a lock	Use your lock picking skills to pick a standard padlock	Completed

Name: Dr. Freemen
Date: 1/10/2023

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Gun Cleaning	Field-strip a Colt M1911 in under 10 seconds.	Completed

Name: Dr. Researcher
Date: 1/10/2023

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
True Identity	Determine the true identity of one (1) O5 Council member.	Approved by O5 Council Denied.

Name: Guest Researcher ███████
Date: 13/13/2132

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Time-Space Anomaly	Must go to the future to press a button that WILL exist, eventually.	Will eventually be completed. Probably.

Name: Dr. Julian T. Weistess
Date: 8/2/2023

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Caesar Cypher	Must crack a Caesar cypher on a piece of paper dispensed by the box.	Completed. When solved, the paper described a recipe to make a Caesar salad. Said salad was then served at the cafeteria.

Name: Jr. Researcher Jamison
Date: 9/12/2023

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Bath	Must give the box a sponge bath.	Completed by accident
Burp	The box emits a royalty free sound effect of a baby crying. Lightly patting the box with an open palm causes crying to cease.	Completed
Bedtime Story	Must read the entirety of "Thidwick the Big-Hearted Moose" while standing within three (3) meters of the box.	Completed by accident

Name: Dr. Alexander Avenlee
Date: 10/11/2023

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Life	Get a life	Incomplete.

Name: Dr. Starfield
Date: 10/12/2023

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Stars	Subject was asked to count the stars in the sky.	I give up. Completed by accident
IQ	Subject was asked to provide their "correct" IQ without using any external quantifying source.	Completed by accident

Name: Agent Cooper
Date: 10/16/2023

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Spot the difference	Two nearly identical images were presented and the subject was tasked with identifying and noting all discrepancies between the two images within a designated time frame.	Completed
Grass	Subject was asked to venture outdoors, touch some grass and subsequently retrieve a specimen to insert into the box as evidence of compliance.	Completed

Name: Dr. Walker
Date: 10/10/2024

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Kebab assembly	Ingredients for chicken and vegetable kebabs dispense from box, sans skewers, which must be provided by the selected subject at time of appearance. The top of the box reveals a charcoal grill, on which the kebabs are to be roasted.	Incomplete

Name: Dr. Riley
Date: 10/14/2024

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Flashbang	Box produced a laptop with Discord downloaded, approximately five seconds after the laptop powered on Discord started. Discord was on light mode.	Completed

Name: Dr. Eli Thatcher
Date: 17/03/2024

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Magic 8-Ball	A standard Magic 8-Ball manifests on the box's surface. User must ask, "Will I open the box?" and receive a positive response.	Incomplete. Attempts thus far have resulted in: "Ask again later," "Outlook not so good," and "You will explode in 17 days." Testing ongoing. One casualty thus far.

Name: Guest Researcher Lee
Date: 04/08/2024

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Lack of Hygiene	Must come within a 10 meter radius of the box while not having washed one's hands for at least a week.	Incomplete. Completed by unknown individual.

Name: Researcher Smith
Date: 07/05/2025

Lock Type:	Information on Lock:	Notes:
Half-life 3	Must beat Half-Life 3 three times in the same room as SCP-????-J.	Incomplete.

Footnotes

. Good thing Dr. ███████ is such an avid Spongebob fan!

. But where did they get the money?

. I can't remember if we solved that one or not.

. What do you mean, Pluto isn't a planet? - Dr. Brim

. To her everlasting shame.

. AI-NCD created an article in the "Joke SCPs" archive of the Foundation fan wiki, which was a "humorous" take on a popular IP. Article failed to remain above deletion threshold.

. Holy [EXPLETIVE], sixteen footnotes for an X-Men skip?!? What reality is this? We don't even have a wiki! Er, wait, do we h— - Advanced AI-NCD's handler

. Why did they have to be room temperature? They all taste the same! - Dr. Brim

. Media suppression tactics have been enabled to help explain the █,███ broken fingers necessary to complete mechanism.

. I need to sit down. - D-????

Incident-????-789-J-A Report: look, the butt ghost eated that [REDACTED]!!!

_{by researcher james, age 11}

It is currently unknown how Researcher James was able to know SCP-????-J appearance. A request was sent to reclassify Researcher James to SCP-JAMES-J.

. Result: [DATA EXPUNGED] Note: What the absolute fuck? - Dr. Brim

. The box did not appear happy, or unlocked.

. Sorry, I thought the blast radius was smaller. - Dr. Izza

. Sorry, I just love explosions. - Dr. Izza

. Dr. Izza has been fired.

. Dr. ████ tried to "Go Inside" his girlfriend… yeaaaa, didn't work out too well. -Y. P. L███████

. Having all five members of the research team suck on said limes disengaged mechanism.

. Who let Dr. King out of his containment cell?! Guards! - Dr. Walker

. Such a waste of a perfectly mediocre fruit. - Dr. Walker

. Yes, I know that chess is technically a sport, but this was really boring to watch. - Dr. Spooks

. Dr. A██████ told a horrid joke about SCP-2719. Surprisingly, the face laughed and the mechanism disengaged. When asked about what had happened, A██████ shrugged and said, "You wouldn't get it. It's an inside joke."

. Dr. Westrin successfully listed every Foundation official XK scenario, with the addition of 4 others which never existed, which include "YT Class Dear-God-Why scenario", "MK Class End-of-My-Will-to-Live scenario" "HYK Class Why-Does-the-Foundation-Have-So-Many-Fucking-XK-Scenarios Scenario", and "TSAT Class Hit-Me-With-a-Fucking-Brick Scenario".

. I'm never trusting ANY organ of mine with Dr. ███████. - Dr. Henry

. Volunteers needed!

. This is a scam.

. Cain has no sense of humor.

. Task was delegated to Junior Researcher ███████, who has since tendered her resignation due to being used for "Unethical labor". Investigation ongoing.

. Widely regarded as the most difficult campaign in the history of D&D

. While metagaming and loophole exploits would seem like an obvious strategy, The Box appears to know the intent of the players and will bend the scenario to murder their characters early.

. The closest attempt to beat the campaign came from a party comprised of Junior Researcher Geol Etas, subject D-997013, and myself. We made it all the way to the final battle with Acererak, you should've seen it. D-997013 is to be relieved of his duties as a D-class and reassigned as a member of my research team every other Thursday until further notice. - Dr. Regn

. I didn't know Dr. ████ was so talented! - Dr. Shelster

. Well, that's just cheap. - Dr. Aiden

. "I just wanted my username to be Hugh G. Rection." - D-8379

. "I do know all fifty states, I just refuse to recognize Indiana as one." - Dr. Oekn

. The task was assigned to Junior Researcher ███, who has requested resignation.

. Eh, I'll finish it later. - Dr. "K"

. NOOOOOOO— - Dr. "K"

. Junior Researcher Philip died of a sudden heart attack after entering "21" into the keypad. A note dispensed from the box reading "Ha. Ha. Ha. Real funny, Philip."

. Sarcasm Level: Unknown.

. uh????? -Researcher Hayden

. Okay, that was weird. - Dr. Calhoun

. Dr. Oekn suffered a concussion and fractured skull

. I should get a raise for this. - Dr. Boots

. I don't get paid enough for this shit. - Dr. Boots

. Including Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Creature from the Black Lagoon

. Even D-class shouldn't be subjected to stuff that horrifying - Dr. Kelp

. Including Scary Movie, Scary Movie 2, Scary Movie 3, Scary Movie 4, and Scary MoVie

. This is the most painful comedy the world has ever seen. - Dr. Pine

. Including What Do People Do All Day? and Richard Scarry's Busy, Busy World

. Despite the obvious and annoying emergent pattern (Is it mocking us? I feel like it's mocking us), this was a pleasant viewing experience for all involved and, might I say, it would appear that the D-Class really learned something from watching some of these. - Dr. Fir

. FUCK YEAH! TAKE THAT YOU DUMB FUCKING BOX. FUCK. - Dr. ArchAngel

. Note: Clearing your browser history doesn’t work, trust me I’ve tried. - Jr. Researcher Graff

. The current world record is 35

. Well at least most of us have a life. - Jr. Researcher Graff

. A Master Padlock, specifically.

. What, you thought this world be something stupidly hard? No, it's that simple. - Jr. Researcher Graff

. Dr. Freemen has been reassigned as a Small Arms Specialist.

. What? Who the fuck told you that? Denied. - O5-1

. "13/13"? Do we add another month to the year in the future??

. Honestly, it tastes pretty good. - Dr. Weistess

. Dr. Avenlee has refused to go near the box since.

. During a heated discussion between Dr. Starfield and a fellow researcher, an inadvertently mentioned random number successfully disengaged the lock. Regrettably, neither Dr. Starfield nor the other researcher retain any recollection of the specific number.

. Don't ask.

. All onsite personnel must carry kebab skewers on their person until further notice.

. I still have spots in my vision. Ow. -Dr. Riley

. Guys, just because the lock was completed when I visited doesn't mean anything! I'm filing a complaint. -Guest Researcher Lee

. Goddammit, VALV^E. -Researcher Smith

collaboration doctor-spanko researcher-james supplement

page revision: 278, last edited: 19 Sep 2025 13:26

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