Fifthist Hub
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Fifthist.png

You and me

Should take a trip across the galaxy

And feel the breaking waves of our own energy

And everything will come together

Slowly

Quietly


Hey there, fella, glad you stopped by. I mean, you’ll do… better than nothin’. No, really, come on in. We ain't kooks.

You might ask me why you’re here! Well, that’s because you’re part of the Fifthist Church. You were drawn here a long time ago. As a matter of fact, you didn’t have much say in the matter. You could say it’s somethin’ like fate, predestination, or maybe retro-cuz-ality. Maybe it’s backwards like that. Who knows. Maybe it’s forwards too.

Not a religious type, you say? Oh, well, that’s fine. We ain’t into prayin’ and all that either. A lot of us here are backsliders. Church is just one of them words people throw around. Fifthist Church, Fifthist Collective, Fifthist Book Publishing, Fifthist Psychedelic Surf Rock, Fifthist Lip Balm, etcetera. It’s Fifthist is all that matters.

What does "Fifthism" mean? Well, that’s not a name my congregation came up with. A while back there was a bunch of new agey hip types who went and published a book. Yanks called themselves The Fifth Church, and that name stuck… But the most likely case is that there are always five manifestations of Fifthism. Always. There’s usually a cult up north, out west, and well, yours truly. I ain’t never heard of no commie Fifthists or nothin'.

…There's even been Fifthism all throughout time. Think of the Fifthist protozoans. Think of the Fifthist suns. Harken to creation, the concept of a universe.

What makes them Fifthist? Patterns, signals, magic. The unpossible. A Fifthist concept will slowly transcend reality. When that concept blossoms, it falls, like ripened fruit, brother, o’ to be consumed and shat by the lord glowing hands himself. It becomes reality. We see the Fifth world, brother. And we too shall fall, like the the ekpyrotic house before us, and be shat as they were.

Eventually.

Us Southern Fifthists have been around for years. Maybe someone’s keeping us from blowin’ downwind? Hate to be paranoid. Hate to think something out there was scared of the last Southern Fifthists after they done came to term.

But enough with all this morbid talk about dyin’ and indifferent other-universally forces of nature and TOP SECRETE PARAGOVERNEMENT ORGAN-IZATIONS. YEAH, WE KNOW ABOUT YOU. WE’RE GETTIN’ REAL TIRED OF YOUR SHIT! We’re still alive! So to hell with you! To hell with this "Fifthism" and talk about "Fifthism"! We got money to raise! Get outta my face! Join me in outer space! Roll that frog footage! Light those candles! Send check or money order to World 390, so that our corpses may bloat and explode, and from that heaping viscera we will rise again as pungent, fungent fumes!

Tales of Fifthist Influence:

International Translations:

What is Fifthism?

Fifthism is an anomalous way of thinking, and could be more easily understood as a byproduct of Theta-Prime. Fifthist concepts are virulent and evolve from mundane subjects, such as a surf rock band, a self-help book, or baptism, stamp collecting, chapstick, etc.

The overall feel of each manifestation of Fifthism should be a concept that is transcending reality in subtle, unmistakable manners, and the people and entities caught up in it all. There are always five branches of Fifthists at any one point in time, reinventing themselves in various iterations. A Fifthist concept is classically defined by these qualities:

  1. Each branch is a group of individuals. An example could be a cult, a following, or a fanbase.
  2. Each branch dies and is reborn as something else loosely related to its previous form.
  3. A Fifthist sect begins as something completely unrelated to Fifthism, and slowly metamorphoses into a Fifthist concept, at which point it begins to transcend, or warp, reality.
  4. The Fifthist entity is not directly observed and is generally agreed to be unknowable. It cannot be certain that Fifthism itself is any manifestation of its motives or lack of motives.

How do I make a Fifthist GOI format?

Fifthist documentations vary as much as manifestations of Fifthism vary. There is no core Fifthist documentation. It depends on the Fifthist concept you are writing about. West Coast Fifthists commonly "document" things in song lyrics.



Cite this page as:

"Fifthist Hub" by faminepulse, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scpwiki.com/fifthist-hub. Licensed under CC BY-SA.

For information on how to use this component, see the License Box component. To read about licensing policy, see the Licensing Guide.

page revision: 77, last edited: 26 Jul 2025 13:42
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