USENET gems

USENET generates a lot of humour. A lot of good humour can be gotten by reading newsgroups like rec.humor.funny . Some of it is obscure, unintentional, and requires you to be fairly intimate with the topics of at hand. This is an attempt to collect some postings I find particularly amusing. Longer postings/threads are archived separated and are listed below.

• Fun with Nike

Date: 2001年4月02日 12:56:58
Newsgroups: alt.law-enforcement.traffic,dc.driving,misc.consumers,rec.autos.driving
Brian Paulsen (brian@zeus.localdomain) wrote:
In article <3ac6ccd8.8e12dd93@ix.netcom.com>, 
wrote:>I have a question. It would be interesting to compare the results.>What actually deters YOU from speeding in your vehicle, if anything?
The fear of spilling my drink in my lap?
The fear that hitting a bump in the road will really hurt my knees as
they slam into the steering wheel?
The fear that hitting a bump will cause me to cut myself while I'm
shaving?
The fear of losing my concentration and dialing a wrong number which
will cause me to dial a number in Paraguay?
The fear of losing my concentration and tuning to the 'All disco - all
the time' station?
The fear that all of the above will happen at the same time?
:)
--
Brian

Newsgroup: misc.int-property
schlafly@bbs.cruzio.com writes:
In article <19970922015101.VAA27392@ladder01.news.aol.com>,
jtspangler@aol.com (JTSPANGLER) writes:> Just a reminder that Xerox is a registered trademark, so you cannot> "xerox" a xerographic copy, nor are there any "xeroxing" machines> other than those made by the Xerox company. Xerox periodically runs> advertsing campaigns directed to avoid having their mark become> generic through this sort of misuse. But you already knew that,> didn't you?
"Idiot" may also be a registered trademark, but it wouldn't stop me
from calling you an idiot. The word "xerox" is commonly used in the
generic sense.

guy@panix2.panix.com writes:
L. Shelton Bumgarner <leebum@nottowayez.net> wrote:
: hey guys, I would be willing to write something about the creation
of : Usenet2, much like I wrote about the Great Renaming...all I need
is : the Cabal to email me their thoughts on what is happening now.
Ah, yes, Usenet II: the Great Renaming II.
---guy

psi@govt-aff.senate.gov (U.S. Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations) writes:
We are conducting an investigation into Internet fraud, the results of
which will be presented in a hearing presently scheduled for October
20. As part of this investigation, we are interested in hearing from
persons who have had first-hand experience with fraud on the Internet
(as victims or otherwise). Please feel free to contact us via e-mail
or telephone.
The Staff of the Permanent
Subcommittee on Investigations
Committee on Governmental Affairs
United States Senate
202/224-3721

Note "as victims or otherwise".

jason (jboer@localhost.localdomain) wrote:
: HOW TO USE LINUX TO ATTRACT GIRLS INSTANTLY....Secrets to instant sex appeal
Tell them you would like to mount their filesystem on your root
partition.
[I wish i never made that joke]

1997年11月02日 15:15:39
Newsgroup: comp.os.linux.advocacy
Subject: Re: Get a real OS -- get Linux!
pvilla@revolution.com writes:
Adam Stouffer <tesla@sgi.net> wrote:>Fred Astaire wrote:>> Steve Mading <madings@earth.execpc.com> wrote:>>>(Originally you called it "the" Linux loader. That's not true.>>>LOADLIN is not the *main* way to load linux. It is *a* way it>>>can be done but is not the "normal" way.)>>>> Has anyone had any luck loading Linux with EDLIN.EXE?>>do you know what the hell edlin is? its a very basic text editor.it>was used before edit.com was around. from dos 1.x to 4.40
Are you sure? I could have sworn it was the linker on the VAX 11/780!

Newsgroup: comp.os.linux.advocacy
od Smith <rodsmith@fast9.uceprotect.net> wrote:>Even administering Linux doesn't take a CS degree, though familiarity>with Unix (which you'd likely get in earning a CS degree) will help a>lot. Many distributions (including Red Hat) include some degree or>other...