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Home » Familiar Quotations » Artemus (Charles Farrar Browne) Ward 1834-1867 John Bartlett


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John Bartlett (1820–1905). Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. 1919.

Artemus (Charles Farrar Browne) Ward 1834-1867 John Bartlett

1
My pollertics, like my religion, being of an exceedin’ accommodatin’ character.
The Crisis.
2
The fack can’t be no longer disgised that a Krysis is onto us.
The Crisis.
3
I am not a politician, and my other habits are good.
Fourth of July Oration.
4
The prevailin’ weakness of most public men is to Slop over. G. Washington never slopt over.
Fourth of July Oration.
5
I can’t sing. As a singist I am not a success. I am saddest when I sing. So are those who hear me. They are sadder even than I am.
Artemus Ward’s Lecture.
6
N. B. This is rote Sarcastikul.
A Visit to Brigham Young.
7
Did you ever have the measels, and if so, how many?
The Census.
8
Why is this thus? What is the reason of this thusness?
Moses, the Sassy.
9
Let us all be happy and live within our means, even if we have to borrow the money to do it with.
Natural History.
The sun has a right to “set” where it wants to, and so, I may add, has a hen.
A Morman Romance, IV.
He is dreadfully married. “He’s the most married man I ever saw in my life.”
Moses, the Sassy.

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