[Post-Hunt erratum: The version of this meta that appeared during Hunt had an error in the eighth clue. The corrected clue is below. We're very sorry.]
"I used to be sad about not being a real turtle," he says, "but right now I have even more problems. The others are always having their tea parties, but I haven't been able to join them since the Beast came. You see, with all the craziness around here recently, and all of these outsiders" --he looks at you, but more in sadness than anything else-- "coming by, it's been very crowded, and there's just not enough room for everyone to fit anymore. I try to pretend they're with me by using mock versions of them, but it's not the same. If only there were a way to allow more people to fit comfortably around the table at tea time, then I could be with my friends again..."