Good Blurbs from Bad Reviews: Repo Men, The Bounty Hunter, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

Jude Law in Repo Men.

Before Tuesday’s episode of Lost, we were the victims of reckless blurbing. Summing up his three-week Lost marathon, our own Mike Ryan had written that the show was "the most confusing, asinine, ridiculous—yet somehow addictively awesome—television show of all time." Naturally, the blurb hunters at ABC chose to abridge the quote ever so slightly. What appeared on TV screens was:

"The most addictively awesome television show of all time"

—Vanity Fair

We get a thrill every time our little web site gets any attention, especially from Lost’s 10-15 million weekly viewers. But to be fair, Lost doesn’t really need any help. As a public service, we’ve taken the liberty of extracting good blurbs from bad reviews of movies opening this weekend, snatching praise from the jaws of pans.

Repo Men

"Full of over-the-top violence and misogynist caricatures (including a nagging wife so horrendous even her own son Tasers her), it’s a film to be endured more than experienced.

It succeeds on one level though, even in spite of itself: It makes at least one clear-cut case for repossession. Taking back the union cards of everyone involved."

—Stephen Whitty, The Newark Star-Ledger

"It's not exactly giving away a surprise[!] to report that when Law's payments are past due, their slimy boss (Liev Schreiber) sends the newly svelte Whitaker after him."

—Lou Lumenick, New York Post

"Miguel Sapochnik’s film makes Repo! The Genetic Opera, the disastrous Paris Hilton musical with which it shares its premise, seem like grand, poignant satire by comparison."

—Julian Sancton, Vanity Fair

The Bounty Hunter

"Back in the old days, when our grandparents were courting, the volatile magnetism of heterosexual monogamy ... was the motor that got many a screwball comedy rolling... "The Bounty Hunter," with its whirligig plot and incessant squabbling, shows some genetic connection to those [a] sparklingly silly battles of the sexes."

—A.O. Scott, The New York Times

"The mishmash ends up as a thoroughly unfunny adult cartoon where neither the heroes' lives nor their love lives are in any serious jeopardy."

—Kirk Honeycutt, The Hollywood Reporter

"A wildly impressive marketing campaign."

—Julian Sancton, Vanity Fair

Diary of a Wimpy Kid

"Part of the problem is the source material, which is darkly humorous with its simple caricatures, but suffers in the transition to live action."

—Peter Hartlaub, San Fransisco Chronicle

"What makes the book special are the line drawings, ostensibly by Greg but really by author Jeff Kinney: deft, funny cartoons of thuggish big brothers, blockhead best friends, and bug-eyed class freaks.... "Diary of a Wimpy Kid’’ the movie returns Kinney’s tale to live-action reality, and the party’s over."

—Ty Burr, Boston Globe