Looking to the Horizon

Though it is not yet official, I am done with my B.A. I wait for grades to post, then it will be official. I am a little bit in shock I think. It wasn't all that long ago that I couldn't get myself to actually attend class and would just stop going...sometimes remembering to drop and sometimes not. It's been even less time since I managed to attend and even finish some of the work and get mediocre grades, and less still since things clicked and I went, did the work, and got good grades. Now I am done with my B.A. and working on getting into grad school. I once thought it would be all I could do to get a certificate in something. Huge difference.

Sera

Posted by Battle Weary at 4:46 PM 2 comments  

I thought I would make an update...or make excuses for not updating...something along those lines.

School is crazy hard right now. I have so little time to be online doing anything "fun", it's just not funny. The scary/sad part is that I think this is only a preview of things to come! I have gotten one grad school application in, am working on three more. When I get into grad school, it will be into an accelerated program for the first year, and then "regular" grad school pace for two-three years after that. I'm afraid my updates my turn out to be instead of every few months, every few years!

Right now I am taking two upper division classes, one lower division class, TA for Microbiology, and doing these grad applications. It sounds like a lot, but it doesn't sound like as much as it actually is. The lower division class is Art History-Renaissance to present with Asian art also. I absolutely love the class, I am learning so much cool stuff, and it really fits with Sociology (my major). Instead of simply learning who did what when (art appreciation) we are learning who did what when, why, and what cultural factors contributed, and why. Nice. But it's hard to keep up on the homework...very hard. We have homework due every Friday online, by 11:59 pm. The problem is that Friday is the only day I have to schedule anything at all that isn't related to school, and it's also the only day to fit that homework in since it's online! I thought of doing the assignments on the weekend, ahead of when they are due, but that doesn't work because I need the class lectures we haven't had yet in order to complete them. *sigh*

Here is how my week goes...Monday get to campus at 730 and meet with Sociology major friend for 15 minutes then go open the Microbiology lab for students from 8-930, go to art hist from10-12, eat ( a must), go to my own upper division Biology lab from 1-345, Bio lecture from 4-515, go home. Tuesday TA in actual Micro lab class from 925-12, run (literally) downstairs for my Bio colloquium lecture series from 12-1, this used to be the end of my day but starting next Tuesday I will then have T at 3. Wednesday is a repeat of Monday except from 1-330 I run Micro lab for students instead of attend my own lab. Thursday is nightmare day! TA Micro from 925-1215, appointment on campus 1-2, used to have T from 3-4 but changing to Tuesday, pick-up partner from work and take her home at 5, rush back to campus for Senior Seminar 6-950 (yes, pm). Keep in mind, my campus is in one town, my home, T, and partner's work are in another! Meanwhile I am doing my senior thesis. It's a Sociological study using my own topic and research, meaning I have to find time to do my research, write up notes, code, and begin figuring out what it all means. So yeah...I am overwhelmed.

I am finding little time to get to others' blogs, let alone do anything with mine. However, I do read all those on my list, usually very early in the morning while procrastinating. Just wanted to let you all know...I do read, though I rarely comment. I am still around, just not in the way I used to be. (aspects of that could be another post completely! Maybe in a few days I can fit that in).

Sera

Posted by Battle Weary at 8:49 AM 3 comments  

I deleted a handful of blogs. Some of them are people who haven't posted in over a year, one deleted her blog but I still had a link, one went private and I didn't get an invitation, one has a weird issue where I get an "attack site" warning...a couple others, I just don't read anymore and they don't visit here. So off they all went. That's the literal clean-up.

Figurative clean-up....I've posted before about a dear friend that just up and disappeared. Deleted blog, stopped answering emails, stopped visiting here, and stopped visiting others she used to also be friends with. Honestly, I wondered if she had an accident or had been hospitalized. Not knowing was pretty hard. I suppose I should have had a little warning; she DID delete her blog, though that happened at the same time as everything else. She also stopped her cell phone service...or at least, that is what she said when I asked if she got my text a couple weeks before her disappearance. I now think she may have changed numbers, not completely canceled service.

It's been right around a year since I've heard anything from her. While I still wondered what happened, and feared the worst, I had pretty much let it go. I wasn't angry, I wasn't terribly hurt (maybe numb? That's a T topic. ), and I actually would go several weeks without wondering about her.

A couple weeks ago Raine found her name, bio, and picture on a website by doing a google search. This is something I have done as well, looking for any kind of news (accident?), as recently as July, and I didn't get any hits, so it's a fairly new thing. So...there she is...apparently well, working in her chosen field. She seems to have decided to delete a major portion of her life...some of us were actual, "real-life" friends, others were "blog friends", but no less real.

It's sad really...sad for her. I'm not sad, and I'm not surprised...there was a history of this type of thing with us, it usually only lasted a couple months, and it was never everyone...just us in this body...but there was a history. The people she deleted may all be very busy, and living their own lives, but we are here. I can't speak for everyone, but I bet Raine and K would have understood minimal contact due to business...they do with me, and I with them. I also bet that J and L would understand it, too. I wonder of someday she will realize what a terrible mistake she made.

So...yeah...I'm not sad. I might be angry though.

S

Posted by Battle Weary at 7:27 PM 5 comments  

This is the view of Cannon Beach, Oregon, from the balcony of a third floor room. This is looking north, the one below is looking southwest.



Some of you might find the beach familiar...especially the part with the big rock (Haystack Rock). The movie "The Goonies" was filmed in Cannon Beach and Astoria, Oregon. The last scene of the movie shows this rock with a giant pirate ship sailing out from it. The picture above was actually taken at low tide...if you look at the sand, there is a stripe of darker colored sand...that is the water line for high tide. We spent four days in Cannon Beach, and two and a half days in Astoria.

D's nephew and his partner live in Astoria, in a house they bought about five years ago, that they are working on remodeling/restoring. The house is really cool. It is tall and narrow (most houses there are...makes it easier to get a view of the Columbia river from your house). What is really cool about the place is that it was split into two apartments at some point. So the upstairs has a full kitchen, and the first floor has a full kitchen. The guys are talking about turning the upstairs kitchen into a "media room", because it is a rather dark room, and you would not have to go through it to get to any other room in the house.

Astoria was really cool. We spent a lot of time walking around the downtown area and the river walk on the first day...in the rain! On the second day, the nephew and his partner took us over the bridge to Washington (directly across the river). We drove past "Dismal Nitch" and went to "Cape Disappointment"...yes, those are the real names of these places!

So...after two and a half days we headed off to Cannon Beach. This was the location of the family reunion...for the part of the family that I lived with as an infant and toddler, but was removed from. It was incredible! Within ten minutes of arriving, I felt like an integral part of the family...a part that had always been there, and belonged. What was really interesting to me is that the only times that felt strange were times when I asked a question or someone asked a question of me, that people who grew up together would not need to ask. These times felt foreign to me, not the spending time together otherwise. I recall as a child, and later as well, wishing for a big sister that I could confide in and spend time with...I recall wishing for a big brother to protect me. What is most amazing to me is that I have a big sister, and I have THREE big brothers...and they fell right into those rolls that I had wished for. Obviously I don't really need a big brother-protector now, but I have three anyway...while they didn't do any "actual protecting", the feeling was definitely there. As for the sister...we've been talking and confiding by email for months prior to the reunion, it's been wonderful. There are tentative plans for another reunion in two years, at which time I will have a great niece or nephew in addition to the eight nieces and nephews I met at this reunion (one announced she is expecting). There are also plans for me to go stay with the sister when I (hopefully) go to the east coast for grad school interviews. If I don't get any interviews, or if the schools decide on phone interviews, then D thinks I should go stay with her for a few days anyway. So it looks like I may visit in January of next year.

The last semester of my undergrad started three days ago. I have a pretty tough schedule, but I think it is going to be good. I am taking Art History (lower division GE that I somehow missed early on), Upper division Plant Biology, Senior Seminar (capstone Sociology research project), Biology Colloquium (weekly lectures by bio professionals), and I am TA for microbiology again. That's 16 units. In addition to this, I may be taking an online "Lifespan Psych" course, because it is a pre-req for several programs I am looking at, but is not offered anywhere near me. My graduation date is December 2010, and I will walk May 2010 (cumme Laude if I do as well this semester as I have in past semesters). I am feeling really ready to be done and moving on with my education and life....grad school here I come!

S

Posted by Battle Weary at 8:19 AM 2 comments  

The adorable ducklings managed to grow up while I was busy writing papers. When I finally made it back to "the lakes" on campus, they were all nearly adult looking...too late for more cute pictures.

For the last couple weeks I have been working-out with my sister-in-law three days a week in the mornings. We use the treadmills, then lift weights, then hit the treadmills again, then go out to the pool. It's amazing how quickly a long work-out goes by when there is someone doing it with you!

I am still researching graduate programs. I need to write a statement of purpose for some, and a personal statement for others. Some have essay topics that will be provided when the application period opens. I'm a bit lost...I don't have any idea how to write the first two!

I am also waiting to hear from one of my Professors...so I can start doing research assistant work for her. I should hear any day on this, and I am a bit impatient and excited! I will be able to do the work at home, and it will be paid.

I am going to a the family reunion in just over 1 month. I have a whole mixture of feelings about this. To recap...I will be seeing second cousins and their families, some of whom I saw once 12 years ago, some I haven't seen since I was about 4 years old, and some I've never met at all. What makes this particularly special and emotional is that the 4 second cousins consider me their baby sister, and their children consider me their Aunt. Long story...it's in older posts. My feelings are mostly very good...I am, however, a little nervous...mostly about a very young part that has recently awoken and knows nothing about our life after we were removed from the cousins home.

So...that's it...my life in a nutshell!

S

Posted by Battle Weary at 9:24 AM 3 comments  

This is a picture of the newest members of the residential community at my University...there are 10 ducklings! They are adorable. Unfortunately the picture is pretty small...I took it with my phone. I can't seem to get it bigger without making it hugely blurry. Amy Pink: When I go back to school next week I will take my real camera and see if I can get a better picture!

Spring break is almost over...I feel like I haven't gotten nearly enough done, but there's not much I can do to change that. There is five weeks of school left...not enough time!

I am researching Graduate school possibilities. I spoke with one of my Sociology Professors about developing a "plan B" since MANY qualified students are not getting into nursing schools. She suggested a Master's in Public Health...I like it! I went and discussed it with my Sociology adviser, and she likes it too. So I am looking at both MSN programs and MPH programs. My partner informed me about a month ago that she is prepared to move to wherever I want to go...so I am looking at programs all over the U.S. I've been getting emails from different programs inviting me to visit their campus and/or apply to their programs...this is really cool. It's a little overwhelming though...I have gotten emails from some schools I've never heard of, some schools in California, and some very prestigious schools. Georgetown and Harvard have sent me an email inviting me to look at their websites. U. of Pennsylvania has sent two emails, one inviting me to apply, and one inviting me to visit on May 1st (no way I can do that). And then there's another school...Yale has sent me four emails...FOUR!! Two invites to visit, one look at our website and pay special attention to our MSN/MPH dual degree (!), and one we'd love to hear from you soon (!). I'm actually beginning to believe that an Ivy League education may not be a far fetched idea!

Getting to know my long lost relatives is going well I think. I'll give the short version of the story so everyone understands how monumental this is...

As an infant my mother left me with her Aunt for a weekend visit, she then didn't return at the end of the weekend. The weekend stretched into three years. One day my mother called and said she would be there in an hour to get me. My Great Aunt had four kids of her own, three boys and a girl...they all considered me their baby sister. I went for one visit less than a year after going with my mother...then I saw none of them until one short (a couple hours) visit when I was around 10 years old, at which time I only saw the Great Aunt and the female cousin (the only one still living at home). I never saw them again until '98, at the great Aunts funeral...the oldest cousin was not there. I have not seen them since. Until very recently I didn't know the truth of this situation...my mother had really only told me that ""N" took care of me for a while". No explanation, no indication of how long, nothing.

So now I know the truth...and I am developing a relationship with my cousins who are really more like siblings. I have suddenly acquired four nieces and four nephews, most of whom are grown, in college and/or married...Three I have never even met (five were at the funeral). One I've not met referred to me as "Aunt *****" on facebook a couple weeks ago...which made me feel very happy, and very sad, at the same time.

I want to add...this family was safe. While I don't remember anything about my time with them, I felt an intense bond when I saw them in '98...before ever knowing the truth. Also, I know there is one inside that is an infant, then there is a gap and the next youngest inside are 3-4 years old. This coincides with my time with them, and indicates to me that there was no splitting during that time.

I will be seeing them all (except the Great Aunt and Uncle who are both deceased) in August...and I can't wait!

S

Posted by Battle Weary at 10:12 AM 4 comments  

This semester is not as easy as I thought it would be. My classes are fine, easy even...but the Microbiology TA position is kicking mu butt!! I am so tired every week. I just about get back to normal and the week starts again, and I'm back to "running the lab".

In other news, I will be graduating in December...walking Spring '11. I have no idea what I am doing about grad school...my possibilities have suddenly opened wide, so I have a lot of researching and planning to do.

That's all for now.

S

Posted by Battle Weary at 9:08 PM 5 comments  

I have set this blog to moderate comments for now. There have been several anonymous comments that have porn links inbeded in them...and that is really not okay with me!

Posted by Battle Weary at 9:18 PM 3 comments  

This is Bagheera (think Jungle Book for pronunciation). "Bags" joined our family 7 days ago. A co-worker of D's had to move and could not keep her. She is about 3 years old, solid black with not even a spot of another color anywhere. Her eyes are in fact yellow, not gold, but yellow. She is also pretty big...17 lbs. While she looks like a big meanie, she is a very sweet girl. She follows me from room to room, joins me when I go to bed taking a spot near my feet since by my chest is Baby Boy's spot (no "discussion" about that, she just did it), and she loves belly rubs!

The only problem we seem to have is she doesn't like the treats we give the other kitties, she likes HERS (a different brand). That is easily dealt with though.




In other news, school starts tomorrow. I have 15 units, but I actually think it s going to be an easier semester. I have 8 units (two classes) of Sociology electives, 4 units of lower division Biology (last lower division Bio!), and 3 units of Biology Practicum (TA for Microbiology). The practicum is an easy A...help in lab, grade lab practicals and lab exercises, run open labs (around my schedule, not their's), and run study reviews if the students want them (my schedule again). The lower division Bio is gong to be a LOT of review, and taught by my Bio adviser...which is cool. The electives for Soc...well, one of them I really want to take (and planned my life in order to make it work), the other fit into my schedule. Not so excitedabout that second one, but I think it will be a good one to take for my future plans (Society and Aging, fits with nursing), and I think I have the Prof figured out. Don't particularly care for her teaching style, but I hear that this class is better because it's her "area of passion"...we shall see.

So...the big thing going on right now...I've reconnected with a couple people that were (are) improtant to me, from early childhood. One of them I have not seen in around 37 years...keep in mind I just turned 41 this month! The other one I have seen twice in tat same time perod. There are two more to reconnect with...and I will be doing that in person in August...if not sooner in email. This is a HUGE thing...and I will write more and in more detail on the other place.

S

Posted by Battle Weary at 7:22 AM 7 comments  

• ► 2013 (1)
  • ► January (1)

• ► 2012 (3)
  • ► October (1)
  • ► March (1)
  • ► January (1)

• ► 2011 (6)
  • ► November (1)
  • ► September (1)
  • ► July (1)
  • ► April (1)
  • ► March (1)
  • ► January (1)

• ▼ 2010 (9)
  • ▼ December (1)
    • Though it is not yet official, I am done with my B...
  • ► November (1)
    • Another original title :P
  • ► September (1)
    • A Little Clean-up...Literally and Figuratively
  • ► August (1)
    • Another post...finally
  • ► July (1)
    • My Life, as it is, Currently
  • ► April (1)
    • This and That, plus a picture for Amy Pink
  • ► March (2)
    • This semester is not as easy as I thought it would...
    • Comment Moderation
  • ► January (1)
    • This and That

• ► 2009 (18)
  • ► December (1)
  • ► September (2)
  • ► August (1)
  • ► June (1)
  • ► May (2)
  • ► April (4)
  • ► March (1)
  • ► February (2)
  • ► January (4)

• ► 2008 (35)
  • ► December (3)
  • ► November (2)
  • ► October (2)
  • ► September (4)
  • ► August (4)
  • ► July (5)
  • ► June (2)
  • ► May (9)
  • ► April (4)