Incontinent

July 24, 2025

Man: When my incontinent cat passes away, I can get my carpets steam cleaned.

Posted in Animals, Family | Leave a Comment »

Runes

July 23, 2025

Me: This bathroom stall has graffiti inside it in runes.

Posted in Literature | Leave a Comment »

Intimidated

July 22, 2025

Friend: I have to admit, I’m a little intimidated by your television. I’ve never been intimidated by a TV before. Usually, I’m the master of the remote. But damn!

Posted in Technology | Leave a Comment »

Ketamine

July 21, 2025

Thirteen-Year-Old: Dogs can enjoy ketamine too.

Posted in Animals | Leave a Comment »

Attribution

July 20, 2025

Me: He is the Fundamental Attribution Error made flesh.

Posted in Politics | Leave a Comment »

Lionel

July 19, 2025

Me: Wasn’t that a song by Lionel Ritchie: “Can’t Stop the Snot”?

Posted in Music, The Body | Leave a Comment »

Parking

July 18, 2025

Friend: Sometimes she hangs out in the McDonald’s parking lot.

Posted in Food | Leave a Comment »

Personally

July 17, 2025

Man: I’m not personally an addict.

Posted in Crime | Leave a Comment »

Barrier

July 16, 2025

Man: He was going about five miles an hour, and it kind of looks like you threw yourself at the barrier.

Posted in Numbers, The Body | Leave a Comment »

Comics

July 15, 2025

Me: Do all his Web comics arrive through a one-day time warp?

Posted in Numbers, Technology | Leave a Comment »

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