Big Ash's Antics

And last night at basketball, a certain person (who I will call "Mary" to protect her identity) who I was guarding kept blanking all over the court all night. I was her confidant and didn't tell anyone it was her (although people kept complaining that something smelt like dirty diapers), and she and I laughed all night about it. Well, after the third or fourth time, people were starting to blame me. Why does everyone always do that? I NEVER blank. EVER. So why I should be subjected to their jeers and taunting, I will never know. Anyway, after I started to get blamed for the offensive smells, I threw my "buddy" under the bus so to speak and ratted her out. I refuse to be blamed for something that I did not do. She was embarrassed to be sure, but I was vindicated and that is all that matters. 

Posted by Ashley at 9:48 PM 9 comments:

Once our basketball game started to wind down, and all the men who were in the church building had left and us basketball girls were the only ones there, Krista discovered that the beloved cardboard Reba was GONE!!! Yes, "someone" (Ed W.) kidnapped Reba and left a rather disturbing ransom note. The demands he left were for several chocolate bars to be delivered in an "unmarked brown bag" by Sunday, or else cardboard Reba would get the shredder! You can imagine Breba's distress.  She of course left for Utah this morning and she couldn't leave without her life-sized Reba. As we were trying to figure what kind of sicko had kidnapped Reba, we heard a loud banging on the doors in the foyer. We all ran out there thinking the kidnapper had delivered Reba only to find a strange man with a shaved head banging on the door. This is when the fun and games came to an abrupt halt. Thank goodness we had locked the doors after all the guys left, and Breba was trying to talk to the strange man through the glass doors. The guy was asking for a "transient bishop" or something crazy like that and wanted to come inside the church. We of course did not open the door, and we all were getting a little creeped out. So we ignored the guy and went back into the cultural hall pretending to be unconcerned with the weirdo who ended up sitting in front of the doors right by all of our cars. So we couldn't leave the church because then we'd have to pass the guy. So Sis. Bale called her hubbie and I called my dad and they both came down and talked to the guy who turned out to be homeless and an ex-convict (yikes). We also called 911 just in case. Finally, the guy walked away and we were able to leave, but not without the cardboard Reba, who we found locked in Ed W's office. She didn't seem to mind the kidnapping. We found her just standing there with a bag of Fritos in her hand like it was all no big deal. 

I used to hate when someone would say us girls shouldn't be down at the church without priesthood there. I would always say "I don't need a man to protect me," and Breba would say that since she is the R.S. president, she is pretty much like priesthood (is that blasphemous? Maybe...). Well, that was a lie I have now discovered. We all felt very vulnerable last night having a weird man outside of the church and no guys there to protect us. But now the real concern is how are we going to keep up our girls basketball nights? What guys are going to stay down there with us while we play? I'm thinking that Sports Chalet stripper might agree to it....

Oh, and for ALL Weathersby women who read this, please do not tell Ed W about this incident!!!!! We are planning on rectifying this situation in the future by having that male stripper with us every night anyway, so there is NO NEED for him to get all panicky and lecture-y on us!!!

Posted by Ashley at 12:21 PM 9 comments:

Posted by Ashley at 5:10 PM 6 comments: