Ann Haertel

A great sister in my ward mentioned that, while on vacation in Hawaii, she happened to stop in a shop that had seashells. She picked one up and as she looked at it, realized that, although it was impossible, she had seen it before! She knew every nook and cranny, every color and texture. She had the overwhelming impression that, before this life, as we were receiving instructions and gaining knowledge, we were also put on committees to help create the earth. She has always loved seashells and that chance encounter on vacation convinced her that she had been on the seashell committee and she had just come across one of her very own designs!

So, what speaks to you? Do you believe we were on committees, and if so what was yours? If it is true, I think I did the same thing up there that I do here on earth. I find everything so amazing that I jump from one incredible creation to another – never really mastering any, but enjoying the awe and wonder of them all!

On Friday, June 27 I was having a conversation with one of my neighbors and he informed me that our dear friend and neighbor, Julie Knab had passed away early that morning. I knew the time was near, and had hoped that she would have had the opportunity to go one last time to Bear Lake for a family reunion the upcoming week. I was so sorry to hear the news because Julie is a person for whom I have always had a great deal of love and respect. Nevertheless, I knew her passing was inevitable and would have occurred soon.

Later that afternoon, I was walking around my backyard, surveying work that was being done and contemplating other projects that I wanted to be accomplished. As I approached a set of stairs that lead from the very back of my yard down toward the pool, a very strong impression, almost like a vision, came into my mind's eye. I could see Julie walking up a staircase, very similar to the one I was standing above. She was dressed in white and appeared to be ascending from a cloud-like area. I knew I was witnessing her entrance into heaven. I was struck at first by her eyes. Before her illness, her eyes always had a calmness about them. Throughout her illness, they often belied the pain she felt but was reluctant to speak of. As I saw her that afternoon, her eyes reflected the peace she now felt. I saw her look around, and although I was not permitted to see what she saw, her eyes reflected wonderment and rejoicing at what she was beholding and as she realized where she was. The vision faded at that point and I heard her voice state, "I am at peace." There was a warmth that filled my whole body. Though I wept at her loss, my heart was full of joy and peace because I knew where she was. I had seen her enter heaven, in what I believe was the Celestial Kingdom.

I don't know why I was permitted to have this experience, but it has had a great impact on me and has given me strength. It has reinforced my knowledge of the plan of salvation and increased my testimony. Because of Christ's atonement, as proclaimed by Paul in 1 Corinthians 15:22, "as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive"

For the past few days, I've been hampered in my mobility and have had some time to reflect on work. What is its value, what makes something work, what does it mean to "work hard" etc.? Before I had surgery on my foot, I had a list of several things I wanted to get done so I could rest and not worry about them. While I was able to do a lot of things, many things didn't get done, and it was driving me crazy. Meri had come to spend some time with us since Robbie was out of town and she helped us clear things out of a storage room that was long overdue for organizing. My plan was to get everything back before the surgery, but that didn't happen. I was frustrated, but realized that part of the reason was because having Meri here meant having Jared and Alex here, and since they were here, Jennie and Vance stopped by with Mylah to see them. It would be a shame to spend all of my time working and not playing with the grand children or visiting with my kids. Additionally, Robbie's birthday present finally got in and I was able to take Meri to the store and pick it up since it needed to be in my car. After my surgery, I was down for a couple of days. After that I could move around a bit more, but it was limited. I planned on finishing up the storage room, but several activities thwarted my plans. I went visiting teaching, worked on a service project for mothers without borders, went to a class to make main dish salads, but left early because we took a great young man from Honduras to the MTC. We then looked at a house for Robbie and Meri. The next day, I took Josh to summer seminary and Dad to the dentist. Since we were in the car we ran some errands including trying to order a filter for the pool which took far longer than it should have, and grocery shopping. We got home in enough time to take Josh down to Provo for the state track meet in which he had to participate to qualify for regionals. He got a great time and also ran the steeple chase. We got home from that in time to attend a fabulous free concert by Peter Brienholt and Ryan Shupe. It was just down the street and was the kick off for youth conference. The closet is close. I am taking a break right now because my foot hurts and I have been out working in the yard adjusting sprinklers and supervising some cement work that is being done.

That leads me to my topic. I have felt like I'm not working hard because the kitchen floor is really dirty and I can't seem to keep the counter clean. I'm behind in the laundry and all of my weekly chores. In spite of not getting things done, I am exhausted at the end of the day, and I have a hard time figuring out why I can't do it all. Is a good worker one who gets a job done in a timely fashion and does it well and is not distracted by other people or jobs? Is it fair to ask for all work and no respite? I planned out the summer by putting in hours the kids and I would work and what projects need to be done in what order and included free time. Somehow that isn't working out. Aimee and Josh push themselves very hard during school, so I want to let them have a little free time and sleep in just a bit. They have to go on runs every day and need to lift weights. Josh is actually practicing a musical instrument so I don't want to discourage that. Aimee has a job which is great, but it limits her disposable time.

We've also had some workers here changing our landscape. They come in like a swarm and it's amazing how drastic the changes are when they leave each day. It's also amazing how drastic the bill is when we receive an e-mail from the landscaper each evening. Sometimes the work they do causes a problem, like running over the hitch to our trailer or accidentally ripping out wiring or water lines. Should we pay their hourly wage to fix it? We also have another crew come from time to time to do handy work. They don't speak much English but are good workers. Yesterday, however, the main guy dropped two men off and had to leave, he thought, for a couple of hours. It turned out to be all day. After awhile the two men ran out of work to do. They wanted to be paid. I know they need the money and they usually get a lot done, but I'm not sure how I felt about paying them for waiting for their friend to get back with supplies. I also think about the time we paid a kid to "renew" our kitchen cupboards. He cleaned them, sanded them lightly and wiped a little glaze on them and charged us 500ドル. It was maybe a 50ドル job. He was a clean cut kid and I know he needed the money for school, but I felt a little ripped off.

I also thought about how my kids work. Some are more diligent than others. Some get distracted more easily. Some are more self motivated than others. Overall however, compared with others with whom I've worked, they do a good job. I wonder though, how they do when I'm not there cracking the whip. I learned a great lesson when I was in high school. I was working at Farrell's, an ice cream parlor. I always got to work on time, did everything I was supposed to do and did it well. I didn't goof off. I learned however that interesting things were happening. Some of the employees got fired and some got raises. I kept the job, but wasn't getting a raise. I talked to my manager about it. He said I was doing well, but if I wanted to prove I was worth more, I had to go the extra mile. I needed to do more than what was expected of me without always being told what to do. In addition to my regular responsibilities, I should see if the mirror needed polishing, the topping trays needed extra cleaning, another employee needed some help etc. I took that message to heart, and a few weeks later, I got my raise. I didn't stop there however. I applied that lesson to my life. That probably explains why I'm frustrated now, because I can't seem to get any one job done. I just get a little bit of a lot of jobs done. If there is credit for a cumulative effect, then I have it made.

There is a caveat though. I am married to someone who is ALWAYS working. Dad doesn't leave a room without picking up something that is out of place. He always hangs up his towel, puts away his shower toiletries, puts his dirty clothes in the hamper and hangs up his clean clothes. He unpacks immediately after a trip, no matter how tired he is. During movies, he is usually on his computer so as not to waste a minute. He is not easily distracted when he starts a job so it pretty much gets done. He skipped the concert last night because he wasn't really interested and I'm guessing he was working while we were kicking back, enjoying the music.

If you've made it this far through my ramblings, then maybe you can help me sort all of this out. What makes a person a good and valuable worker? What questions should we ask ourselves at the close of the day to determine if we have been adequately productive? What does "adequately productive" mean? Where do we draw the line between valid reasons for our actions and decisions and just making excuses? Do you consider yourself a good worker who can be depended on? All comments are not only welcome, but invited.

Music is an important part of my life. It can affect and enhance my mood or my day.

I learned a great lesson from my mother many years ago. I didn't realize it back then, nor did I understand how long it took or the impact it had, not only on me but many other people as well.

When I was a little girl, my family used to do musical performances for a number of groups. One day I overheard my two brothers pleading with my mother, asking, "Does Ann have to sing with us? Can't she just do a dance or something?" (You'd have to have seen me dance to realize what this said about my singing ability.) I don't recall what her answer was, but she allowed me to continue performing with them. A few years later, when I was in the third grade, there was an announcement that the school would be holding auditions for a choir. I signed up and arrived in the multi-purpose room at the appointed time. When it was my turn to audition, seasoned performer that I was, I walked confidently up to the front of the room. The director asked me if I had prepared a piece. I replied, "no." She then asked me if I knew "Twinkle, twinkle little star" and I responded that I did. I remember what happened next as though it were yesterday. The accompanist played an introduction and I began to sing. The conductor had a big smile on her face. When I finished, she turned to the accompanist and said, "Let's try it again and see if you can find what key she is mostly singing in." When I was done, I left, certain that not only would I make the choir, but that I would be called on to perform many solos. The list was posted and I excitedly looked for my name. It wasn't there. Surely there must be some mistake! I spoke with the director to see if she had inadvertently left my name off. She replied, " You certainly sing with a great deal of enthusiasm. Keep working and maybe you'll make it next year." I was devastated. I went home, hurt and upset, to the loving arms of my mother. She hugged me and promised to keep working with me. Several months later, my family was able to get a piano. I'm not sure if this was a back-up in case I never learned to sing, or just an opportunity to add to the family musical repertoire. In any case, I started lessons. My mom would listen to me practice and have me sing with my pieces. She would have me sing the counts or the letter names of the notes and help me when I was off pitch. As the years went on, it became evident that I did not share her beautiful soprano range. She then began to teach me to listen to the harmony. In church, she would quietly sing the alto part into my ear. She started taking me to choir practice and made sure I sat in the middle of the alto section next to the strongest altos in the ward. I felt like I had finally learned to sing when the choir director asked me to sing a solo. I will never have a beautiful voice, and I still have to listen very hard to hear my part, but thanks to my mother, I am confidently able to lift up my voice and sing.

The rest of this story is even better. My mom started to teach 5^th grade shortly after I didn't make the school choir. One of her extracurricular jobs was to work with the choir at her school. Because of my experience, she vowed that she would NEVER tell a child they weren't good enough to sing. She let everyone in the choir who had a desire to be there and was willing to work. Her choirs were the largest and best choirs in the district and the state. They sang amazing two part harmony with an accompanist to some very difficult songs. They were invited to sing in many places.

Mom didn't just touch the life of her tone deaf daughter, she taught thousands of children to "Lift up your voice and sing!"