[[Opening speaker stands behind a lectern decorated with the indicators of the International Astronomical Union]]
Speaker: Welcome to IAU Symposium #279.
Speaker: We are no strangers to controversy, and we will not shy away from the tough issues. Which brings us to the subject at hand.
[[An anatomically uncensored projection of the Constellation Orion appears before the speaker]]
Speaker: It's time to talk about the fact that Orion clearly has a dong.
Attendee in crowd #1: It's hard to miss.
Attendee #2: we could keep telling people it's a sword.
Attendee #3: C'mon, no one's buying that anymore.
{{Title text: Also on the agenda: what's with his hips?}}
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