Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975, UK)

In directors Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones' irreverent popular, and outrageous second Monty Python feature-length film (but the first with original material) - it was a raucous, innovative, anarchic retelling of the Middle Ages legend of King Arthur (Graham Chapman) and his quest; it skewered religion, medieval action epics, mythology, war, religion, film subtitles, the Middle Ages and the Arthurian legend, costume pictures, the witch trials and black plague, the mythical and heroic quest for the Holy Grail in the 10th Century AD, Camelot and a host of other topics.

Part-way through the film, after King Arthur's failure to take a French-controlled castle, the first clue to a major plot twist was given - that the film wasn't taking place at all in AD 932 during the time of King Arthur, his Knights, Camelot, witch trials, and the Grail search, but was occurring in the modern-day.

The silly, chaotic, unconventional, sick joke-filled and zany Monty Python troupe, a close modern equivalent to the Marx Brothers, first appeared in their BBC-TV show from 1969-1974, Monty Python's Flying Circus, composed of a series of unrelated sketches. Afterwards, the group compiled a retelling of the show's first two years of sketches for the big screen in their first feature film - And Now For Something Completely Different (1971).

On a budget of about 410,000,ドル the unusual comedy grossed about 2ドル.8 million (worldwide). Many cult fans of the film can instantly recite many of the memorable scenes, vignettes and set-pieces, such as the "Bring Out Your Dead" scene, or the rude, taunting Frenchman at the castle, the bloodthirsty Killer Rabbit, or the tree-shaped Knights who said "Ni."

• the opening credits of this original cult film slowly gave way to mock Swedish titles, and then drifted into ravings about visiting Sweden to see its virtues (including the country's Moose) before grinding to a halt with the statement:
  • "We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked."
• the opening credits resumed, but with another immediate apology after further odd credits - added for everything from "Moose Trained By," to "Moose Special Effects" to "Moose Costumes" to "Moose trained to mix concrete and sign complicated insurance forms"; these were followed by another apology:
  • "The directors of the firm hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked. The credits have been completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute."
• after several false starts and some more odd credits about "Llamas," the film opened in the year 932 A.D.; wearing a crown, chain mail, and a tunic, King Arthur (Graham Chapman) was traveling in the foggy countryside, searching for gallant men to join his Knights of the Round Table; he was viewed galloping over a grassy hill in the mist - with an imaginary stallion (announced by the clopping sound of approaching hooves on cobblestones!); next to the King was his hunchbacked squire or servant-lackey Patsy (Terry Gilliam) banging two half-coconut shells together to simulate the horses' hooves - an old-fashioned sound effect

• a ridiculous argument ensued between King Arthur and a Soldier (Michael Palin) shouting down from the castle wall and asking about the origin of the coconuts that Patsy had in his possession to fake that they didn't have horses; the King argued that Patsy's coconuts 'migrated' to England (or Mercia) (to the more temperate Northern zone) when they were carried there by an African swallow, not by a European swallow; the Soldier in the castle disagreed, and soon became distracted and began arguing with a Second Soldier (John Cleese) about the viability of swallows carrying coconuts:
  • "Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?...What, a swallow carrying a coconut?...It's a simple question of weight ratios. A five-ounce bird could not carry a one-pound coconut...In order to maintain air speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?...It could be carried by an African swallow. Oh yeah, an African swallow, maybe, but not a European swallow...But then, of course, the African swallows are non-migratory. So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway. Wait a minute. Supposing two swallows carried it together!"
• exasperated that the Soldiers wouldn't answer his repeated question: "Will you ask your master if he wants to join the Knights of Camelot?", King Arthur and Patsy departed and disappeared into the mist
• in the next outrageous village scene where the Black Plague had hit hard, corpses were being collected (for nine-pence apiece) by the Dead Collector (Eric Idle) on his rounds with a cart through a muddy medieval village; he struck a triangle as he cried out: "Bring Out Your Dead!"; he entered into an argument with a elderly bearded Large Man (John Cleese) who had a half-dead body of a decrepit man slung over his shoulder - the man struggled and kept insisting: ("I'm not dead!...I don't want to go on the cart...I feel fine "); after a long series of arguments, the Dead Collector finally gave in, knocked the half-dead man in the head with a stick and killed him; afterwards, they noticed Patsy and the King "riding" by - the Dead Collector noted: "Must be a King...He hasn't got s--t all over him"
• as the King continued his quest, he spoke to a poor peasant couple: Dennis (Michael Palin) and his mother (Terry Jones) who were digging in the dirt; Dennis criticized the King for his dictatorial rule of their land and for impoverishing them: ("By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society!...We're living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working class..."); when the King was asked how he became their superior leader without voting or a mandate by the masses, Arthur spoke of a Lady of the Lake who "held aloft Excalibur" and proclaimed him King by "divine providence"; they denounced the King for being mad and hallucinatory: "You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you"; when the King tried to silence him, Dennis claimed he was being violently "repressed"
• the Monty Python style of humor was best exemplified by the next sequence; in a wooded area, they came upon an unbelievably persistent and fearsome Black Knight (John Cleese) at a Bridge, who was sword-fighting against another armored opponent - the Green Knight (Terry Gilliam); they watched the gruesome and brutal battle, ending with the lethal spearing of the Green Knight through his helmet

• in the following comically-bloody encounter between King Arthur and the insolent Black Knight, the fearsome and brave sword-fighter ignored Arthur's invitation to join his court; instead, the Black Knight spoke out: "None shall pass!"; he refused to let Arthur and Patsy cross a bridge over a small gully behind him ("I move for no man"); the Black Knight persisted and insisted on fighting an epic battle; even after his left and right arms had been hacked off by King Arthur, the Black Knight wouldn't accept defeat, and still fought back with his legs; moments later, the Black Knight was reduced to only a head and torso (without legs) as he still claimed victory: "Tis but a scratch!... It's just a flesh wound!...I'm invincible!... The Black Knight always triumphs!"
• remarkably, the Black Knight didn't expire at the end of the scene; the duel eventually ended in a tie when the Knight asserted: "All right, we'll call it a draw," but then kept denying his loss as the two walked off: "Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's comin' to ya! I'll bite your legs off!"
• in a small village, a group of black-robed and hooded monks chanted in Latin as they self-flagellated by whacking themselves in the head with wooden boards; Arthur (and Patsy) watched as townsfolk dragged a suspected witch (Connie Booth) to the house of Bedevere (Terry Jones); during her trial, the female suspect was being prosecuted, questioned and threatened with being burned for no good reason, except for the way she was dressed (she claimed: "They dressed me up like this"); when Sir Bedevere asked for corroborating testimony: "What makes you think she's a witch?", a Peasant (John Cleese) questionably answered: "She turned me into a newt!...I got better!")
• Bedevere proposed a method to determine if the crone was a witch or not, with factors including flammability and buoyancy; the non-sensical argument was made that witches could burn just like wood (or ducks) that also floated in water; therefore, according to the Peasants, because the suspected witch weighed at least as much as a duck, she was therefore made of wood and hence, guilty of being a witch:
  • "So logically, if she weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood. And therefore...a witch!"
• a public weighing compared the witch's weight with the weight of a duck - and she was promptly pronounced guilty and dragged away
• King Arthur proceeded to recruit and knight Bedevere, and dubbed him Sir Bedevere the Wise; in a short montage as pages of "The Book of the Film" were turned by a pretty female hand (credited to Page-Turner (Maggie Weston)) with voice-over from a Narrator (Michael Palin), the King continued on his quest to gather Knights (for his Round Table), to venture onward to Camelot

• King Arthur enlisted Sir Lancelot the Brave (John Cleese), Sir Gallahad the Pure (Michael Palin) or "The Chaste," Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-as-Sir-Lancelot (Eric Idle), and the Sir Not-Appearing-in-this-Film (a baby (William Palin)), along with their squires and Robin's minstrels; as the Narrator concluded: "Together they formed a band whose names and deeds were to be retold throughout the centuries. The Knights of the Round Table," a Gorilla's paw (Terry Gilliam) grabbed the Page-Turner's hand
• the group of Knights who were 'riding along' with King Arthur spotted the castle Camelot in the distance (Patsy rightfully downplayed the sight: "It's only a model!" King Arthur: "Shh!"); the King ordered: "Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride to Camelot!"
• inside the medieval castle (although the sequence was only a fantasy), several knights performed the loopy and anarchic "Camelot Song (Knights of the Round Table)" about their lives as Knights of the Round Table; the song featured high-kicking, helmeted knights dancing in a chorus line
• after the number was concluded, King Arthur (now back on the outskirts of the castle with his knights) memorably reconsidered and sighed:
  • "Well, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place"
• as Arthur turned away in despair and the group set off again, the King and his knights became frightened by a miraculous (animated) vision of the Almighty God appearing to them in the clouds; they prostrated themselves on the ground as the booming voice of God urged the King of the Britons to go forth and find the Holy Grail: ("Look well, Arthur, for it is your sacred task to seek this grail. That is your purpose, Arthur. The quest for the Holy Grail"); a short animated sequence emphasized the importance of their quest to find the Holy Grail (the sacred cup at Jesus' Last Supper)

• after arriving outside the tall rock walls of a French-controlled castle ruled by its master Guy de Loimbard, a mustached Taunting French Guard (John Cleese) on the castle wall looked down at the motley and "daffy English knights" and spoke insulting words to their leader - King Arthur:
  • "I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."
• the Knights were angered by the offensive Frenchman who falsely claimed that they already had the Grail; then, they were repelled by the launching of a catapulted cow and other barnyard livestock (chickens, sheep, geese, ducks, etc.) at them; to fight back, the Knights prepared to attack the castle with their swords; Sir Bedevere instigated a stealthy plan to gain entry into the French enemy's castle by sneaking in using a giant, 20 foot high wooden Trojan Rabbit with wheels, but his plan failed when he absent-mindedly neglected to tell the Knights to hide inside; the Rabbit structure was hurled back over the castle's battlements at the group of Knights, and crushed one of the young Pages (Neil Innes)
• in the next surprising sequence prefaced by the snapping of a movie clapboard (for Take 8), a modern-day famous historian named Frank (John Young) was commenting on the Arthurian legend and the King's progress during the filming of a documentary (for "History for Schools"); he was just mentioning how the Knights had developed a new strategy to split up and individually search for the Grail, when suddenly and viciously, the historian was slashed to death across the neck with a sword by an un-named horseback-riding knight (the master of the Black Knight?) who galloped by - the main unidentified villain in the film

• afterwards, the man's middle-aged wife (Rita Davies) (from off-camera) rushed to her dead husband's side, crying out: "Frank!"; a police investigation was opened and pursued, and it was later theorized that it was possible that the killer Knight (who was not with Arthur) was framing Arthur and his Knights for murder
• after the Knights split up into separate groups, one of Sir Robin's (Eric Idle) minstrels (Neil Innes) traveling with him in a forested area sang "Brave Sir Robin" (with graphic lyrics about how he was "not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways" including "his liver removed and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped, and his bottom burned off, and his penis..."); however, Sir Robin's shield was decorated with a "chicken" - his actual level of bravery
• along the trail, they passed wooden guide signs in triplicate: ("CAMELOT 43," "CERTAIN DEATH 1" and "BEWARE!!!"), and then they saw an executed threesome: 3 Knights skewered by one large jousting lance; the intimidated and 'unbrave' Sir Robin and his retinue were ordered to halt by a Three-Headed Giant (Terry Jones, Graham Chapman, and Michael Palin); the three heads of the Giant began to bicker amongst themselves (about bad breath, snoring, etc.) causing them to become distracted from their goal of fighting against the legendary Robin; they eventually noticed that he had already left their presence and had "bravely" run away
• meanwhile, in the next segment titled "The Tale of Sir Galahad," during a nighttime storm, Sir Galahad continued to quest onward for the Grail; he came upon Castle Anthrax (and noticed a grail-shaped beacon high up in the castle's tower); once he entered, the interior was populated by seductive young females wearing white robes; the lead female Zoot (Carol Cleveland) ordered other female attendants (varletesses), Midget and Crapper to attend to all of Sir Galahad's needs by preparing a "warm and soft" bed for him; as Zoot led him to a bed chamber, she hinted that Galahad should engage in sexual behavior with most of the inhabitants of the castle:
  • "I'm afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet, compared to yours. We are but eight score blondes and brunettes, all between 16 and 19 and a half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us. Oh, it is a lonely life. Bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear. We are just not used to handsome knights"
• Zoot demanded that Sir Galahad's wounds (in his groin area) be examined by two medically-trained teens: Dr. Piglet (Avril Stewart) and Dr. Winston (Sally Kinghorn), although Galahad insisted that he was "sworn to chastity" as Sir Galahad the Chaste; as he rushed from the bedroom, he found himself surrounded by dozens more attentive, overly-friendly, seductively-draped young girls; as he escaped, he ran into Zoot's identical twin sister Dingo (also Carol Cleveland), who told him that her naughty sister Zoot had fooled him by lighting the castle's grail-shaped beacon; Galahad was asked to provide the appropriate punishment for Zoot
• [Note: The narrative was briefly interrupted by Zoot who addressed the camera-audience and praised the film's writers for their restraint: "Do you think this scene should have been cut? We were so worried when the boys were writing it. But now we're glad. It's better than some previous scenes, I think....Oh, I am enjoying this scene."]
• as the scene resumed, Galahad was told Zoot's penalty - she must be tied down on a bed and spanked; he was also encouraged afterwards to spank everyone else: ("You must give us all a good spanking!...And, after the spanking, the oral sex"); his companions led by Sir Lancelot arrived to save and rescue him, but now Sir Galahad was unwilling and reluctant to be "rescued" and he begged them: ("Honestly, I can handle this lot easily!...I can tackle this lot single-handed!"); he vowed that he could survive the imminent "peril" and defeat the 150 girls, but they disagreed; the group of knights left the castle saving Galahad from temptation, while abandoning lots of frustrated girls
• during another segue in "Scene 24," King Arthur and Sir Bedevere were nearby, where they were in a hut asking an elusive, sinister and cackling Old Man (actually the Bridgekeeper) (Terry Gilliam) with one blind eye about the location of the Grail; the Old Man mentioned an Enchanter, a Cave beyond which was the Gorge of Eternal Peril, and a Bridge of Death
• now traversing a dense and spooky forest, the King and Sir Bedevere came upon a helmeted, dreaded towering 12-foot tall Leader Knight (Michael Palin) with deer antlers sticking up from his head, surrounded by his animal-like, tree-shaped followers known as the Knights who say 'Ni' (Sandy Johnson) - a sacred word; the intimidating, eccentric lead Knight made strong but strange coercive demands of Arthur, and claimed that his Knights could only be appeased (and allowed passage through the woods) with "shrubbery" - ("One that looks nice... and not too expensive")
• suddenly in an animated sequence, the film's Animator (Terry Gilliam) was interrupted by pounding noises and shakes that ruined one of his drawings ("The Tale of Sir Lancelot"); he descended a multi-story rectangular staircase to an outer door, where he walked out and reprimanded the Sun and Clouds (with two legs) from jumping up and down and causing problems, shouting: "Bloody weather!"

• in the next scene within Swamp Castle (unwisely built in a swamp), an unattractive and effeminate Prince named Herbert (Terry Jones) was looking out a window with his pushy Father (Michael Palin), who was pressuring him to marry a fat, ugly Princess Lucky whose father owned "the biggest tracts of open land in Britain"; two clueless Guards (Eric Idle and Graham Chapman), with the second one hiccupping, were ordered to prevent Herbert from leaving the room
• to attempt an escape, Herbert wrote out a note and attached it to an arrow that he shot from the castle; nearby as Sir Lancelot was crossing a stream, his servant Concorde (Eric Idle) was struck in the chest by Herbert's arrow, but not seriously wounded; Lancelot read the note: ("I have been imprisoned by my father who wishes me to marry against my will. Please, please please come and rescue me. I am in the tall tower of Swamp Castle"); he over-reacted in an "heroic rescue" by storming the castle and using his sword to massacre invited guests, guards and musicians in Herbert's wedding party
• afterwards when confronted by Herbert's Father for killing so many people, including kicking the briide in the chest and lethally wounding her father, Lancelot apologized that he got carried away: "I thought your son was a lady"; the survivors of the slaughter complained about the casualties, but Herbert's father implored: "Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who"; although the "happy occasion" was to marry the two young people, Herbert's father sadly announced: "My son Herbert, has just fallen to his death" from the tall tower; as he spoke about the merger of the two families - but then Herbert appeared very much alive and began to sing about how he survived: "He's Going to Tell"; as he exited the great hall of the castle, the swashbuckling Lancelot was unable to successfully and dramatically swing on a rope from a stone staircase to an open window
• in a village, King Arthur came up to an Old Crone (Bee Duffell) and asked where he could buy shrubbery to satisfy the demands of the Leader of the "Ni" Knights; to force information from her, they made her cower by shouting "Ni" at her; at that moment Roger the Shrubber (Eric Idle) was opportunely passing by, and offered to sell them shrubbery; when King Arthur and his knights returned with one piece of shrubbery, the lead Knight demanded a second piece of shrubbery, and added that they must also cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring; he also revealed that his knights were now fearful of the word "It" instead of "Ni"; King Arthur's knights, with the newly-arrived Sir Robin (Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-as-Sir Launcelot) and his minstrels, were able to frighten off the adversaries with the new secret dreaded word
• the Narrator recapped the story (accompanied by animation) -- the groups of reunited knights set out to find the Enchanter mentioned by the Old Man in "Scene 24"; they suffered through a harsh winter and year and faced starvation in the frozen land of Nador; the deprived Knights were forced to eat Sir Robin's singing minstrels
• the Knights watched demonstrations of Tim, the Enchanter's (John Cleese) power to create and command fire (pyrokinesis); the gray-bearded wizard figure, with horns on his head, was conjuring up fire and causing various areas in the distance to explode in flames; they timidly asked him to provide information about where they might find the Holy Grail
• he directed them to the north, and led them to the entrance of the Cave of Caerbannog where they believed the directions ("mystic runes") to the Grail might be located written on an interior wall; however, he continued to speak of a terrible, foul and cruel monster, identified as the guardian beast of the cave - the Fierce Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog (that only looked like "just a harmless little bunny"), that had left the bones of 50 men strewn at the cave's entrance
• to gain entry to the cave, King Arthur ordered Sir Bors (Terry Gilliam) to chop the "silly little bleeder's" head off, but the "most foul" and "bad-tempered" white rabbit fought back, jumped up and beheaded Bors with a single bite to his neck; Arthur retaliated with a "frontal assault" and lost more of his men, including Gawain and Ector
• Brother Maynard (Eric Idle) provided King Arthur with a sacred relic - the "Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch" - to blow up and destroy the Rabbit; they first consulted with the religious order's Book of Armaments, reading long passages from Chapter 2, verses 9-21 about how to deploy the weapon:
  • "And St. Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...The Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'"
• the Rabbit was conquered and destroyed with the explosive hand grenade tossed by King Arthur; the blast was heard by the police who were nearby with the widowed wife of the Film Historian, who were still investigating her husband's death
• the Knights entered the inside of the cave where they read Aramaic script on the wall written by Joseph of Arimathea that directed them to the Castle Aaargh (in France) to find the Grail ("He must have died while carving it"); but then, in an animated sequence, the Knights were ambushed by another beast - a gigantic, ugly green cave monster mis-named as the "Legendary Black Beast of Aaargh" that devoured Brother Maynard; as the monster pursued the fleeing knights, they were saved when the beast's Animator unexpectedly died of a heart attack; the Narrator concluded: "The Quest for the Holy Grail could continue" -- afterwards, the police inspectors came upon the cave entrance littered with dead bodies

• the remaining knights approached the guarded, decrepit-looking, almost-collapsed, rope-constructed Bridge of Death crossing covered in a smoky mist, where a trollish, creepy Soothsayer / Bridgekeeper (Terry Gilliam) - "The Old Man From Scene 24" - kept guard
• the Bridgekeeper asked the travelers three questions before they were allowed to pass over the bridge that spanned the Gorge of Eternal Peril; if they answered wrongly or didn't know an answer, they suffered a horrible fate; going first, Sir Lancelot easily passed the test (he easily answered his name, his quest, and his favorite color - blue) and proceeded over the bridge, but Sir Robin failed to answer his third trick question: ("What is the capital of Assyria?"), and Sir Galahad also failed (he said his favorite color was also blue although it was actually yellow), and both were magically cast into the deadly Gorge; King Arthur was the 4th to be questioned; he was asked: "What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"; when Arthur demanded a clarification about whether the swallow was African or European, the Bridgekeeper failed to answer his question, and he was magically thrown into the Gorge; the fifth and last remaining knight Sir Bedevere crossed over the Bridge of Death behind King Arthur without having to answer any questions
• during and after a brief cliff-hanging INTERMISSION, the two crossed the treacherous bridge; they called out for Lancelot - who was seen being frisked by the police (who were still investigating the strange murder of historian Frank); Arthur and Sir Bedevere took a dragon-headed barge across a lake to the French-occupied Castle Aarrgh; King Arthur exclaimed: "Our quest is at an end!"
• however, they were expelled by the same taunting and insolent Frenchman and his compatriots from the earlier castle, who now catapulted a sheep at them and then human excrement; denied entry, Arthur and Bedevere were forced to retreat by foot across the shallow lake, seemingly relinquishing their plan to storm the castle; after trudging through the lake water to reach land, Arthur was able to assemble (conjured out of thin air) and command 1,000s of foot soldiers who suddenly appeared on a ridge; Arthur ordered his well-equipped troops with spears to charge toward the castle
• in the plot-twisting conclusion, as the military forces surged forward and were at the edge of the water, a modern-day police car, a paddy wagon, and officers of the law pulled into the scene in front of King Arthur's large battle army; the widowed wife of Frank - the dead historian - exited the car and mistakenly shouted out at King Arthur and Bedevere: "Yes, they're the ones, I'm sure"
• the group of insane knights were arrested by the authorities for the murder of her husband and herded into the paddy wagon; one of the police officers threatened the cameraman, and put his hand over the camera lens: ("All right, sonny, that's enough, just pack that in") - but after the cameraman swore: "Christ!", the film reel broke in the projector and derailed from the gate and the film abruptly ended